On The Run
by CindersAndRain
Summary: This story is set after X-Men 3. Rogue is back with her powers and a  lot has changed around her. So what does she do? She runs away, like always.  Anyway, there's a lot to see beyond the four walls of the Mansion.
1. Cursed

_**A/N:** Hey guys, I'm back! So, I've decided something. I'm going to start all this over again. But here's a warning — this is going to go real slow. Even after March, I have my College Exams up next, which I have to prepare for. I wouldn't not be very frequent in my updates and I'm going to take my own sweet time putting it up because I want to do it right this time._

_I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you with this update since I'm only putting up the first chapter, but this is how its going to be._

_Have a nice time reading!_

_**Title:**On The Run_

_**Summary:**This story is set after X-Men 3. Rogue is back at square one with her powers, which seem to have a mind of their own. The strange relation of her powers with a mere kiss, Scott's and Jean's death, Professor's re-appearance, Logan's disappearance — it's all beyond her. She wants peace, which is not here at home._

_No, not without Logan, its not home._

_So, what does she have left to do other than running away?_

_Here, poor Rogue is on a run from her miserable life and wants to discover what lies beyond the four walls of the Mansion. This story explores the other side of the Mutant World, which lies outside the Mansion, outside Professor's care and protection._

_But Rogue is unaware that what she has seen at the Mansion is only a small amount of what Mutants are capable of. Somebody is hard after her and wants something that is very dear to her. Something, that they can't have until Rogue dies._

_Will Rogue escape what has been planned for her?_

_Or will she die a gruesome death?_

_**Disclaimer (**for the whole story. I'm just not gonna post Disclaimers after every chapter**):** This fan fiction is not written for profit and no violation of copyright is intended. I do not own the X-men nor am I acquainted with Marvel in any way._

_**(However, in this chapter, I do own Ethan Miles and Margaret.)**_

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

**Cursed**

"Are you sure, child?"

"I don't know professor. I just feel it's not right, you know? Staying here and…putting lives at stake."

"I know how you feel, Rogue. But we're a family."

I didn't answer that. I didn't quite have the words.

"Running away is not the best solution every time, you know?"

I know he was referring to the last time I ran away –- a few years ago when I injured Logan terribly. When Mystique tricked me into leaving the school. As it turned out, it wasn't the best solution.

This time the decision will be all mine," I said determinedly.

I fingered one of my silver curls, looking down at them. They were the reminder of the foolishness I showed last time. But I didn't mind the curls now. They were a part of my identity now.

"What about Logan? He's not even here. You cannot simply leave."

I saw a corner of my lip move up, as I looked at myself in the mirror. Professor could be convincing if he wanted. Only, I wasn't going to be outdone this time.

"I'm not exactly decided," I said, sitting down on my bed.

A pause. He didn't reply. Of course he must know. It was foolish to expect otherwise.

"Okay Rogue," he said nonetheless.

And then there was silence. I waited for a couple more minutes for anything else to happen. You could never be too sure with psychics.

As soon as professor tuned out of my head, I sat on my bed again, turning towards the window and watching a tree far away in the garden which sprawled majestically in the front of the mansion. I smiled at the view my window had to offer. I'll miss it all.

After the cure failed and made the headlines once again, I was one of the first ones who were almost worried into a depression. I, in no way, wanted my mutation back. It was something that had me scared out of my bed a dozen times until the unfortunate day finally came — the day I saw Bobby kissing Kitty. I was fuming by the time I came to my bedroom and the next thing I knew, there was Bobby behind me, lying on the floor, unconscious.

And yes, I sort of blame Bobby for getting it all back. What? Somebody had to be blamed. He was the one who triggered it all over again. What if it had to happen one day anyway? I could have had more than those three months of blissful happiness if Bobby hadn't cheated on me.

I sighed. I just had to leave. The place was getting on my nerves.

Maybe Professor already knew that I played him. It wasn't exactly easy to do it. Even when Professor respected others privacy and tried to stay out of their heads most of the time, I knew it wasn't exactly easy to control our mutation. It became a habit to use them in a while… After all, it was a part of who we are.

We, the Mutants.

It's a strange world for us. We hide from normal life because we can't have it, we try to get away, heal ourselves of this abnormality, yet we find ourselves in the same place. Was there no way to escape this? To run away?

Yeah, only if it was that simple. If somebody here at the Mansion heard me call it an abnormality, they'd argue me to no end. Right, as if they had to cope up with what I face every single day, every single minute, every single second.

I got up and began packing again.

There would be no end to this one.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

Startled, I looked at the door. It was late. I didn't expect anyone. Quickly, I walked to the door and into the hallway rather than inviting the knocker in. I didn't want anybody to see that I was packing. Not that there was much to pack anyway.

The first thing I saw was his blue eyes. I looked away immediately, focusing on the painting that hung on the wall behind him. It was a ship, rolling in dangerous waters. Did I mention, I'd like to go on a cruise some day? Maybe, I'll fulfill some of my wishes after leaving. I have a whole life in front of me anyway.

"Rogue," Bobby said, looking at me. "I—I heard."

I focused my eyes back on the painting. The colors were beautifully done. A sun sparkling on the ocean, the blue and greens of the water melting together into one another, the wood of the ship, the slight upturn of the bow. "And you came here because…?"

"We can talk, Rogue. You don't have to be like this."

I blinked at him several times, trying to think of a right thing to say. In the end, I sighed. "Bobby, let's just not talk about things you or I have no way of explaining. You did what you wanted to do. I'll do what I want to. I'm not bound to you in any way now."

"Rogue, please? For the sake of our friendship?" When I glared at him, he tried again, "Let's just be civil, at least?"

"Right. The cliché. Let's be friends. Let's be civil. Sorry, Bobby, but I hate clichés. So, goodbye."

I looked at his sad face again, stepped inside and shut the door in his face.

"We're on the same team, Rogue!" Bobby shouted from outside. "How are we supposed to work together if you behave like this?"

_I had solution to that too, Bobby._

Yes, I was leaving. So, no worries there, right?

Readying my duffel bag, I wrapped myself up in bundles of clothes. It was freezing outside but I knew I had to get out now. I left my bag on the bed, shut the room behind me, which I had cleaned of my personal belongings and walked towards the infirmary, thinking all the while.

It was past midnight but I wanted to see, just this one time, that the kid was alright. It was a wonder how their mind worked these days. The minds of the kids, I mean. The idea was foolish, not to mention risky and suicidal.

Come on! A dare? To touch the untouchable? Didn't they know I was deadly? Didn't they think? Didn't they know that I was a menace? To the society, to the people? Didn't they know why I stayed away?

I mean, I wasn't even worth all this — being treated like an X-men. Because unlike the X-men, I didn't save people. Rather I harmed them. I could kill by mere touch. Didn't they know?

And maybe that's why I was recruited to the team. To pave way for the others. To kill the enemy.

I mean, I wasn't like Storm, who could brew up a disaster and calm it down to a fine sunny day in seconds. I wasn't even like Scott, who could control his mutation with help. At the end of the day, he was still normal.

I was like Jean, probably.

But then, I didn't exactly like being compared to Jean. I mean, not like I didn't like her. I just preferred not to talk about her.

Why I hadn't gained control over my mutation, standing at the age of twenty, I had no fuckin' idea. Really. Almost everybody my age that I knew can do it — Jubilee and Kitty could do it. But then again, I didn't really like to talk about Kitty. Plus, I didn't think of them as powers anymore. I mean, surely, what Jubilee and the others have, might be a blessing, or a strength, an added bonus. But what I had was a curse. It was damn curse.

And I could clearly see the result of my curse on others as I reached the infirmary. I stood far away, maintaining a safe distance. More than a safe distance, actually. The boy was on a bed, breathing peacefully. Coma, most probably.

I didn't even have a freaking idea what his condition was. Was it anything serious? Maybe not. Nobody was really beside him. He was alone there, lying like an angel on the bed. His skin was pale, very pale. But I could see the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. I sighed with a bit of relief. At least he was alive.

Five seconds at the very least. Yes, I knocked him out within five seconds. That's how much it took. Depended on the immunity, basically. The kid was barely ten. Maybe, it was three seconds.

God, I am pathetic.

"He'll be alright," I heard a hoarse voice behind me.

"Are you sure?" I asked without even thinking, turning to find Hank behind me.

"Um, Hank. Uh, what are you doing here?"

It wasn't like we saw Hank everyday. I mean, I've been in the mansion these three to four years and I only saw Hank once before. And that too, when the cure was released and he came here to inform us about it.

"I was checking on the kid. He's related."

"Oh, great," I said, sarcastically. I practically killed Hank's relative. Who is a kid, by the way.

"It wasn't your mistake," he said sympathetically.

Did I mention I hate sympathies?

"I wish everybody would stop saying that," I sighed. I had heard it enough times and I for one knew that it wasn't the truth.

"You don't wish to acknowledge the truth, is all. You know as well as I do that you never intended it to happen. It's not your fault."

"Right. I broke the vase. Accidentally. But 'I'" —I made quotation marks in the air— "still broke it. The blame stays on me. Plus, I have him inside my head. As an extra credit for the deed."

"You barely absorbed him!" Hank said, amused.

"He's what? Ten? Minimum immunity. Plus, I was asleep. I couldn't even have pulled myself back. Maximum exposure. On first impact, he toppled all over me. And…uh, I wasn't exactly dressed," I said, blushing in the end.

Hank reddened slightly (yes, he could do that!), nodded, looking away himself.

"How long?"

"What?" Hank said, looking back at me.

"How long will he be like this? Do they have any idea?"

Hank shook his head. "Not really."

"I'm sorry," I told him, through a constricted throat. He nodded again.

"Is he…is Ethan your son?" I asked, at last. Yes, that was his mane. Ethan Miles.

I couldn't really access all thoughts of Ethan yet. He was very sad.

"Ma nephew," he said in that gruff voice again.

I nodded at him once and made to leave.

"But it still isn't your fault, you know," I heard behind me.

I looked back at him. "Hank, it still won't change the fact that Ethan is in coma and it happened because of me."

With that, I quickly walked back towards my room. I didn't want to hear any justifications anymore. I knew what was the truth and I knew anybody saying anything against it could not alter a fact.

I guess luck was on my side. Because Ethan, the kid I nearly killed? He had an ability to make people think what he wanted, believe what he wished. I was kind of amazed he didn't use his ability to dissuade his fellow gamblers. I mean the bet equated to a death wish. Plus, he didn't even want to bet. He just did it because of a girl. To show her that he didn't fear a challenge. No wonder Ethan was only ten. I mean, if he could dissuade people into believing him, he could have made the girl believe in him without the bet with his powers solely.

I mean, they didn't even foolproof their plan. I had it all laid out in front of me. Ethan would repeat it all to me from time to time. If Logan was at the mansion, he would have caught the kids before they even came to my room — all the more making me wish he was here. Anyway, nothing can be done about _that_ because Logan was never one to put stakes on.

He was a free bird, that Logan. He was downright moody and did what he pleased, when he pleased.

I thought we were special, you know? I mean, he met me before Jean and still…

I sighed. _God, Rogue why do you even try? Who are you? A gullible sixteen years old? And Jean? Well, she was the perfect one for him. Even when she already had a boyfriend — even when she had Scott and didn't want him._

But I guess that was it. She was the forbidden fruit, right? And more age appropriate?

_Shut up, Rogue!_ I mentally reprimanded myself.

Jean was dead for Christ's sake! What was wrong with me? It was wrong to blame her like that. She never wanted Logan to crush on her. Even though I had noticed those glances she gave Logan several times and did wonder if something was going on between them behind Scott's back.

_Rogue! Shut up._

I sighed. After Jean died, Logan...well, he changed. I barely came back home, cured of my mutation, to find Logan all broken over Jean's death. All the time I spent with Logan — trying to tell him everything will be alright, everything would work out great in the end — it didn't exactly work for me and Bobby. So even when I was cured, he was more into Kitty. Seeing me with Logan only pissed him off more. It was after all that that he went and kissed Kitty. I chanced upon them only because of Logan, who wouldn't allow me to go see Bobby. I became very suspicious and went to see him straight-away.

Anyway, we were meant to have that break-up. I was kind of happy that it happened after all. I had been expecting it to happen for long enough. And after I took the cure too! I always thought that somehow, the cure was to work wonders with my relationship with Bobby. He was the main driving force after all.

It didn't matter to me that I broke up with Bobby because I had Logan. Logan was one man whom I relied upon. But then, one day, I saw Logan from my window, walking off into the woods towards the cemetery. He did that a lot. I mean, he usually visited Jean. All the time. And I knew it was hard for him. To kill Jean. To kill his love. He did try a lot. He told me all that. He tried to save her, to persuade her to control her mutation, to not let it rule her. But he did what he had to. It was hard for him and I knew it. And I was there with him. To help him out. To tell him that family was there for him — that I was there for him.

But that was the day, he left.

He left the mansion.

He left me.

I kept waiting for him to return back from the woods. Waited for him the whole night. I even searched the woods in the morning. But there was no Logan. Professor Xavier told me to let it be. To let Logan have some time for himself. Maybe the wild Wolverine needed time to get over Jean's death in the wild. That he would be back in the end.

That this was his home.

And like the naïve girl that I was, I believed Professor – stopped searching for him and started waiting for him instead. Maybe if I would have gone after him that day, I could have brought him home, could have reasoned with him, could have persuaded him to stay.

But now, there was nothing to do.

He still wasn't back. It's been almost a year now. Never was Logan away for so long. Never was Logan so… irresponsible and negligent of me. I mean, Logan and I...we weren't just friends. Sure I had a crush on him since forever, but that wasn't it. Logan and I — we understood each other, we trusted each other with our lives. We looked out for each other.

Right?

Wrong. So terribly wrong. Logan proved everything about our relationship wrong. He left me here at the mansion. Without a word. Without a note. Without a phone call. No hint of when he would be back.

But then, I just cannot not wait for him for forever, right? If he could be reckless like that, leaving me behind without even telling me that he was planning to leave, never even saying a goodbye, well, I could be damn reckless too.

I gulped. I still couldn't get it. How could Logan leave me like this? We were together in this. We came to the mansion together and he just couldn't leave me like that. I lived here because of Logan. I mean, who likes seeing her boyfriend kissing another girl's face off? Who likes being feared being touched in the hallways in here? Sure, I head friends here, people whom I could rely on, but if Logan wasn't here, was it worth it? Was it worth it to put lives here at stake? I only stayed here in the first place because Logan thought I'd be safe here, while he roamed around the world. I agreed because at the end of the day, I knew Logan would return. But this time, there was nothing – not a word, not a goodbye, not anything.

For days, I kept remembering the first time he left me, placing his dog tags in my hand, telling me he'd be back for them, with a smile that promised his return.

Right. This time there were no promises. So, I didn't even know if he'd be back — if I'd ever see him again. And well, if this was the Logan I had crushed on for ages, well, I didn't care a fig for him too. Because the Logan I knew was the Logan who cared about me. It was the Logan who always thought about me. When he came to take me back to the mansion, on that train, he promised that he'd look out for me, that he'd be there. But I guess I lost that Logan ages ago.

Maybe… that Logan died with Jean. Because this new Logan... he wasn't my Logan. He wasn't the Logan I cared for, the Logan I lov—

_Will you shut it already?_

I guess, Jean was the only person that ever mattered to Logan. Because if it did matter to him that there was a girl still waiting for him back home, if he even remembered me, he wouldn't have done this to me.

And if anybody thought I was angry with Logan? They were wrong.

Because I was not just angry. I was livid. I was furious. I was pissed off. If Jean was the only one that mattered to him, well then, I'd forget about him too. I'd forget that there was a guy who once saved my life at the risk of his own life. I'd forget him, his bloody smile, his jackass attitude and his stupid 'kid'ing me.

God, even the topic of Logan, makes me drift from what I had been thinking about initially. I shouldn't let Logan have that effect on me. After all, I didn't care for him.

Anymore.

Shit, this is confusing. I keep telling myself to believe that I don't care for him, that I don't concern myself about him anymore, but I just cannot stop thinking about that damned man!

I'd try the nonetheless. So, back to Ethan. What they had planned was to unlock my room and enter without waking me up. Something they had well thought for once. Ethan had... friends. Yes, a friend who could unlock any kind of doors. George. A guy named, George. And a friend who could put people to deep sleep. Margaret. I smiled involuntarily. Ethan liked Margaret. He took the bet for her. And Ethan liked her voice. Margaret sung me and the teachers on night watch to sleep. When Ethan touched me, he lost all direction and toppled over me, making Margaret gasp and lose her concentration. Margaret shrieked and lost control over our sleep. That broke the sleep spell I and the others were under. All the rest of them ran away, leaving Ethan with me, the reason Ethan was in contact with me for so long.

If even one of those kids was a true friend of Ethan, he/she would have helped Ethan and not run away. The Ethan inside my head sobbed from time to time. I tried comforting him, and he did stop crying after a while. Maybe I should stop thinking about him. Maybe that would calm him down a bit — focusing on other things beside himself.

What I wanted was to explore this world — this Mutant World. There was a lot more to Mutants than just _this_ Mansion. And I wanted to see, feel and live it.

I sighed yet again, reaching my room. I had only a little amount of money saved up. But I didn't think I would need much of it until I have Ethan's powers up my sleeve. I knew it was illegal and morally wrong, but in return of my endeavors and contribution in saving the world for umpteenth times now, I guess I should have a little favor back from the world.

Yeah. Until luck favored me and Ethan's powers stayed with me.

Which wouldn't be long. So, my conscience needn't worry so much.

I wrote a swift note thanking the Professor for his kind-heartedness and benevolence for taking me in with Logan (though I didn't mention him) and asking him not to try and find me. Then, I left that note in Professor's study, who thankfully wasn't there.

"Leaving?"

I cursed my luck. I could have escaped this so easily. I was almost on the door. "Yes, Professor." After an afterthought, I added, "I thought I tricked you."

"But you see it isn't so easy to trick me, Rogue."

"Not with you being psychic, it isn't."

I opened the main door and was about to step out when Professor's voice chimed inside my head again, "On a serious note, Rogue, are you sure you don't want to be found?"

So, he had read my note.

"Yes, Professor."

"Are you going back to your parents?"

"I'm not really sure about what I intend to do Professor," I confessed.

"Its a bad world out there Rogue," Professor said, his voice taking a fatherly tone, "and you should know that outside this Mansion, you'll face a lot of challenges. "

"I've learnt a lot from you Professor. I'm sure I'll outlive all my problems."

"And... what if... what if Logan comes back?"

I stood still for a moment. "Will he be back, Professor? I don't know. Because he left me no way to know."

"But there's always a hope."

"Which always gets crushed with Logan around," I replied bitterly.

There was a pause and then, "Do you want me to give him a message or anything?"

I pondered on that one for a moment. Sure, I wanted to give him a message. And, I could even make it short and sweet for him.

"Yes, Professor," I said, smiling a bit now.

I stopped, deciding against it for a second. But no, I wanted him to receive that message. He deserved that.

"Sorry, professor, for the language but you asked for a message. _If_Logan comes back, and _if_ he asks for me, tell him to _fuck off_."

There wasn't a sound from Professor after that, except a low grunt, acknowledging my answer. Well, I was angry with Logan for leaving me alone like this and he could have a piece of my mind.

With that, I shut the door behind me with all the force that I could muster, took one of the cars from the garage and drove out of the school property.

"Oh, and Professor?"

"Yes, Rogue?"

"I'll pay back for the car. Somehow."

"Rogue, you don't need to do—"

"But you see, Professor, I need to," I said, quite determinedly. Then, in a softer tone, I added, "Goodbye."

"Did anyone ever tell you Rogue? Goodbyes are not forever," Professor replied.

I merely smiled in response.

Then, gripping the steering wheel harder than I thought possible, I accelerated the silver beauty and drove on with no destination in my mind.

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><p><em>Liked it? Didn't like it? Tell me by reviewing! :D<em>


	2. Remy LeBeau

_Okay, first of all, I'm really sorry for the late update but I'm really busy these days. These exams just won't let me go. I'm bone-tired and I've still got more exams to go. Anyway, I'll shut up now and let you read. This chapter is basically the same one with a lot of changes._

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

**Remy LeBeau**

"Are you eighteen?" The guy behind the counter asked me in a loud voice. There was a lot of noise but I heard him alright. He was a burly man with short blonde hair and a crooked nose.

"Oh God, not again," I groaning and shoving my ID in his face. He looked at it, shot me an apologetic grin and placed my drink in front of me.

My back ached from sleeping in the car last night and still, I was barely out of town. Man, I wanted to die.

I was skimming through the messages from the mansion, while sipping my drink when I heard a guy shuffle out of his seat further down the bar into the seat next to me. I stiffened a bit keeping my gaze down and pretended being engrossed in my phone. Jubilee had most of the messages lined up, telling me to get my ass back home, another from Bobby asking me where I was and one from Kitty who wanted to apologize breaking my relationship with Bobby, but explaining that she really liked him. Go have him for all I care, Kitty.

"Not from around here, I believe," the guy beside me said. He had a thick Cajun accent.

"Look, I'm not—" I stopped mid-way when I actually saw the guy's face. God, he was handsome. I looked away quickly.

"I'm not…?" He asked, arching an eye-brow.

Quickly, I changed my sentence. I was about to say that I wasn't in the mood to have any company, but what I said was, "I'm not from around here."

"Remy," he said, extending a hand.

"Rogue," I said, shaking hands with him. Every part of me was covered so there really was nothing to fear.

"Rogue?" He smiled. "What kind of name is that, chère?"

I smiled. Logan had said something along the same lines all those years ago.

_Quit thinking about Logan, Rogue._

"Well, that's what I'm called."

He nodded. "And you are alone?" He asked.

I smiled. "I'm better off that way," I replied.

Remy raised an eye-brow, but I simply sipped my beer going through the last of Jubilee's rants.

I was finishing my beer when the Manager of the bar came up to Remy.

"Isn't your time up, son?" He asked him in a whisper, smiling at me. In spite of his attempt to keep his voice down, I could distinctly hear each word that he said.

"Yes, Sir," Remy drawled, making me smile. He worked here.

Remy nodded to me once, finished his drink and walk up to the table where a few guys were playing cards. That was a new introduction. The last time I was here, there was no cards table. Neither was there a pool table. Or the cage at the other end of the bar. People were cheering loudly there as two sweaty men fought each other for their lives.

"Has this place been renovated?" I asked the bartender loudly over the cheers.

"Six months back. Owner died, his son took over. Expanded the place, added perks."

"Oh," I said, finishing my glass. "Another one, please?"

The bartender nodded and went off to bring more beer. Just as he moved, I saw a vacancy advertisement behind him. For a bartender. Maybe luck was favoring me.

When I got my new drink, I enquired about it. "Is there a vacancy here? For a bartender?"

The guy nodded eagerly. "Yep. I'm leaving you see. Have to go up North."

"And who recruits?"

"The Manager you just saw? I'm Tim, by the way," he extended his hand. I shook it, smiling. "But weren't you just twenty?"

I nodded my head.

"What if we don't tell that one detail to my Manager? You see, I'm in a hurry. I should have been home by now. The Manager won't let me out without a replacement. Refused my pay."

"Oh. And I am in need of a job, really. So, I'll keep quiet," I said, giving him a small smile as he smirked.

Tim nodded and went to the other customers, as I turned in my seat and saw Remy. Clearly, he was winning, if the heartbroken looks of the others and Remy's smug smile was any indication. Just then, Remy looked up and smiled at me. He raised his eye-brows in my direction and raised his cards-held hands towards me. Then, he placed his cards on the table and everybody clearly groaned. Then, he placed his cards on the table and everybody clearly groaned., probably meaning that he declared that win to me.

Wow. I watched as a new game began and Remy shuffled the cards. Everybody started placing their bets, but all I saw was Remy, who suddenly looked up and caught me staring.

I quickly looked back at my drink biting my lip as the game proceeded.

As I watched, I couldn't suppress not appreciating Remy. Remy was a total expert at cards! The way he made them fly back into his hands, every single freaking time had me clapping from where I sat. Metaphorically. Not that I was actually clapping.

Suddenly, a cheer went around the noisy bar, drawing my attention to the cages in the back. I saw a man lying still on the floor while another stood towering over him, his hands raised, challenging the two dozen people around the cage to come fight him. I looked away. The scene was all too familiar, what with Logan wanting to fight anywhere he saw a challenge and worthy opponent.

_When will you shut up about him?_

While finishing the remnants of my drink, I finally made the decision. This place had a past with me and I wanted to be in a place I knew. Somehow, it seemed like a relief from started again at a new place all alone.

Then, I noticed a girl behind the bar and called her over.

"Hey, I'm Rogue," I introduced myself.

"Stacy," she said, smiling.

"I was thinking about applying for the vacant job for a bartender here. And since you are one, can you suggest me some place to stay? I'm actually new in town and I think I'll be staying for a while."

"I live in this apartment with a friend of mine, downtown. Its a few minutes' walk from there. I think you can get a place in my building itself. There is a free apartment there."

"Okay," I nodded my head. "Thanks."

Finally deciding, I got up from my seat. Tim winked at me in encouragement, making me smile. Then, I went up to the Manager who was lingering towards the back, talking to some customers. I had to cross over the cage area before reaching him, which was really an effort. I could actually picture Logan standing there, smugly smiling over how he cleanly bowled the huge man out.

"Excuse me?" I began, looking at his breast pocket which had his name tag which said Michael Portman. "I heard that you have a place here? For a bartender?"

"Oh, yes. Do you wish to apply?" He asked in a very professional way, his face expressionless.

I nodded.

"Do you have any experience?"

"Actually no," I answered. "I'm new in town and I saw the vacancy advertisement here."

"Okay. So– "

But he was interrupted as somebody called for the Manager. He turned to me, his face never changing in expression. "Why don't you come tomorrow before the place gets busy? I've got a lot of customers to attend to."

I nodded. "Sure."

He nodded his head at me and went towards the source of the call, while I came back to my seat trying not to look at the cage. It was one part of the bar I'd have to ignore and learn to live with at the same time. I didn't believe anybody would ever think of looking for me here. Especially Logan. Why would he remember anything? The way we first met here, the time I climbed into his truck. Those things happened a long time ago. He had gotten over me so fast, it'd be a real miracle for him to even think of finding me here.

When I moved back to the seat I tried to avoid looking at Remy. Just like the many things in my life, he was better of without me. I quickly paid for my drinks and left for my car again.

I roamed around the town for the rest of the evening, landing in a couple of places from memory. Somehow, I thought the place was good enough for me. Maybe, after gathering a significant amount for myself, I could go South, visit my home town. That would be good. I could go to our vacation house and go see on a few of the best spots – the Grill, the town park and maybe just wander around. I could probably sneak up a look at my parents too and see how they were doing. All that happened between us was a long time back and I really wanted to see how they were doing. That would be nice. Being alone was nice.

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, Ethan was a teed bit excited at seeing new things. He wanted to go see this entertainment park I passed by, but I hated rides, really. I could ride a jet, beat a handful of evil mutants, pretend I'm okay, even when I'm no, but i couldn't ride rides. They scared the hell out of me. They just did. So, going alone was just out of question.

By the time I sat in this posh restaurant for dinner, I was dead tired. I ordered the most expensive delicacies to my fill, not even paying, since I deluded the waitress and the guy behind the counter into believing that I had paid, so that she didn't get into trouble for me not paying.

At the end of my wanderings, I ended up at a motel, taking up a decent room. I changed into my pajamas and shirt and pulled back into my duvet, shivering a bit from cold.

* * *

><p>After a day's work at the Billy's Bar, a exhausting job, I realized exactly what it meant to be a bartender. Of course there were some perks, such as getting friendly co-workers and this cute uniform, but the job really was fatiguing. Finally, I exited the bar at around half past one. My shift started from about three in the afternoon to eight in the evening. And after dinner, it began from ten until late – till about one in the morning. Stacy had the same shifts as mine.<p>

I got a small room in a boarding house and was quite happy with the small amount of rent. It sure wasn't like my old room back at the Mansion, but I guess it worked for me. All the more, all my co-workers lived around me. Stacy lived a landing above, another girl and guy, who were a couple, Tom and Emily, lived a couple of floors above me. Even Remy lived down the street from my lodging. I also found out from Stacy that Remy was 'especially loaded in pockets' and had a 'huge apartment', complete with great furniture and a good number of paintings all around his apartment.

I looked down at myself. The uniform that I was supposed to wear was a black knee-length skirt and a white shirt with Billy's bar written across my breast pocket. I also had to wear an apron, which I left back at the bar. Of course, I had added a pair of arm-length gloves to the uniform, much to Michael's chagrin, who wanted his 'girls' to be in proper uniform. But in the end, he had to agree. Maybe, it had something to do with a particular boy's powers, which I had absorbed. It may also be due to a lack of staff. Yes, Tim had already left, happily, I might add, since he got his pay at last. Before going, Tim confided in me, with much horror I might add, that his paycheck was now amounting to a two month's pay.

Anyway, I wasn't worried about the pay, which was quite decent. My problem was more due to a certain Cajun, who wanted to be friends and have dinner with me. It is pretty weird that his timings at work were same as mine, the only difference being that he worked even past my time, going to even three in the morning.

I mean, sure having dinner with Remy would have been cool, but I didn't want to get to part where he asked me why I wear long gloves. He had already asked me that once, during one of his breaks, and I wasn't especially happy that I had to lie about it. I had to lie almost about everything and and keep fearing that he might catch me at it. If he asked where my parents were, my answer was a lie since I didn't know that in the least. If he asked what I did before coming here, the answer was again a lie since I couldn't tell him that I worked at the Mansion. If he asked where I had been staying up until now…you got it – I had to lie.

So, because I liked avoiding lying as much as possible and couldn't even tell him the truth at the same time, I was trying to keep away from him altogether.

Stacy, who liked calling herself a love-guru, was especially aware of Remy's gazes and kept notifying me when he was looking at me. I was already tired of her preppy talk which kept on revolving around how Remy was really cute and hot. It didn't help that she was right.

I liked Remy, don't get me wrong. He was sweet, smart and caring. Only, I was none of that. Maybe except the smart part since I don't consider myself dumb. But you get it. I just wasn't suited for him. He probably didn't understand that now. But I knew about it. Relationships and friendships – these things never worked for me.

And therefore, my chances at a normal life with a normal guy were nil, me being cursed and all. So I knew better than to fall for such a guy.

And then again, there was a problem with Ethan. Ethan found Remy really funny and wanted to learn all those tricks that he professionally performed, almost like a perfect art. He wanted me to go and ask him about his tricks, which I couldn't trust myself to do without a normal talk, leading to normal questions, to which I only had abnormal answers.

Yes, in conclusion, it was better to stay away from the really charming and attractive Remy LeBeau.

I sighed. It was my first day and I was tired as hell. I had never suffered as much cat-calling from grimy, sweating and leering men and even a couple women. I had been repeatedly called to serve a table at least a dozen times with drink jugs to fill the huge beer mugs and serve snacks. All the more, I knew I couldn't complain because there wasn't another option for me. I was low on money and I desperately needed the job because of the pay and the great tip.

Suddenly, someone called out my name and I turned around to find Remy. I frowned. I didn't want this now. I was so tired.

"Chère," he smiled wickedly at me, "What about our dinner date?"

"Uh," I hesitated. He was standing in the back entry and exit door for the staff, smiling at me. My heart did a flip back. Did I mention Remy is really hot?

Remy had a pack of cards in his hand. Maybe they were inseparable – Remy and his cards. What Remy did here at the bar, basically, was to make sure nobody won too much on the house. Yeah. He was actually employed because he played so well, that nobody could really defeat him, until he wished so himself – which happened occasionally and on Remy's breaks. I swear, people at that cards' table hated Remy and they didn't even know he was employed by Michael. It was a secret only a few knew and I knew that if it were to be revealed, the people on that table would take down Michael and Remy. Maybe not Remy, because I think with all those muscles, he'd probably have one hell of a time hitting people.

As I still wondered how I could subtly deny his offer without making it sound offensive, he started walking towards me. And before I could think up something real good, Remy was looking down at me, waiting for an answer. In all the hurry, I made a stupid and lame excuse. I mean, it wasn't even an excuse! "I have something very important to do today. It's late. I'm sorry, I'd have to leave."

Remy narrowed his eyes at me, standing directly in front of me now. "Really? I'm sorry to have disturbed you."

You see? What did I say about charming?

Then, he continued, "But you know, its one in the morning and not many restaurants would be open." I mentally reprimanded myself for not realizing that. Why didn't I make the stupid excuse for tomorrow? "So, what about tomorrow?"

"I, uh..." I faltered as I desperately tried to think of any excuse to escape this. "Remy, I don't– "

"By the way," he said, suddenly stepping very close, "Did anyone ever tell you that highlights," he suddenly fingered one of my white streaks, "Look very good on you?"

"Um," I said, lamely, fearing where this was going. One touch and he'd be on the floor. "I must go."

"Sure," he said, suddenly taking on a serious note. "But can I have a straight answer for once, before you leave?"

I gulped and nodded pathetically. For an untouchable like me, this close was unbearable. People hardly liked standing near me because they knew about my curse. And since back at the Mansion, people knew me, only Logan had enough courage to treat me normally, accompanied by the fact that only he could bear to touch me for more than a couple seconds.

But somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew where this was going. I was endangering Remy by standing so close to him. Involuntarily, I stepped back.

I saw with horror, when it happened. His finger brushed against my cheek ever so slightly as he tried to stop me from moving back. But the moment he touched me, he gasped and fell back. It was the barest of touches and I knew he was okay, that he wouldn't even faint or anything with the contact. But I also saw things playing like a movie in front of my eyes – flashes of cards, of things blowing up, no—him blowing things up. With a card.

No, a card glowing pink?

And then with a long staff. Fighting with it, defeating enemies and running.

More running.

And blood. Lots of blood on my hands. And then, running again. More flashes of faintly glowing pink cards.

And that's when I realized it.

"Oh my god," I whispered, bending beside Remy without touching him. He was lying on the ground, clutching his side, breathing heavily. "You're a mutant."

"And so," he said, between gasps, "Are you."

I helped him up without touching skin. "I can't hurt until I have direct contact with the skin," I told him. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Did you do that voluntarily?" He asked, looking at me, as if hurt.

I didn't get angry or anything at that. It was something I was coming on terms with. I just couldn't be normal back again. "No, I didn't. Why do you think I wear gloves and these stupid leggings?"

He nodded. "Sorry for over-reacting."

"Believe me, it wasn't over-reacting. And I know what I am saying. Plus, you are lucky you were in contact with me for mere seconds. Touching me for longer can kill you."

"How did you know I am mutant?" He asked, now shirking the dirt off his pants.

"When I touch somebody, I sort of draw their life force from them. I can draw memories, feelings, emotions. Whole personalities if contact is for a longer duration. I sort of get my own copy of them inside my head, which takes days to get rid of." He looked at me surprisedly. "Don't worry, I don't have you here," I said, pointing to my head. "But I did see a lot of other things."

"What kind of things?" He asked.

"Uh, I saw you blowing things up? With your cards? And you running. And a lots of blood. And pain and anguish. The feeling of " But I couldn't say anymore. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. But I had felt a lot more. Hopelessness. The feeling of loosing love. The feeling of never being loved again. Utter darkness. Helplessness. And fear.

He nodded. "I think we should think about that dinner again. We need to talk, chère."

This time I agreed obediently.

* * *

><p><em>I know more people are adding this story to their alertsfavorites and I'd really like to have you guys' opinion and criticism. I don't mind if you tell me I've missed a comma somewhere or misplaced a full stop but do tell me about it. I've tried my best to remove all the errors from last time I posted this along with adding new bits to the story, but do point out where you see a mistake if you see one. Constructive criticism is always appreciated! And DO REVIEW. Makes me feel real good. Maybe I'll update more quickly if you guys review. I love reading and replying to your replies. So come on, click on the review button right down here and REVIEW._

_Oh, and do you want me to post polls or something? Do you have better ideas about Rogue and Logan's characters other than the ones shown in the movie? I think Logan (Hugh Jackman) is great, but I could have worked with a better Rogue. Plus, she doesn't have much role in the movie. What do you say, huh? Tell me if you agree or not._

_Thanks, guys. (:_


	3. Blackmailed

_A/N: So sorry for the late posting. I'm kind of a busy-bee these days, what with just getting out of school and filling out forms and stuff. Anyway, I made this chapter extra-long for you guys to compensate for all the waiting. I'll post the next chapter pretty soon if you guys review!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

**Blackmailed**

My phone ringed.

Jubilee.

Yes, even though I had left the mansion for these eight months now, Jubilee still remained my one and only connection to the place. She wanted me to come back home, but of course that wasn't possible.

_Home is where Logan is._

I think I've grown pathetic with time. God, why can't I get him out of my bloody head?

It was still seven and I was working. My shift was on and I was filled up to my head with growling, demanding customers who wouldn't stop leering at me. It was embarrassing and irritating. And I for one knew that I was no Penelope Cruz (which according to me is the most beautiful actress I know of). So why wouldn't they just quit it? I had dropped enough things here to get me fired, just because I felt nervous with all the staring. I wasn't used to this. I guess during all this I was only able to hang on to my job with the help of Ethan's powers which were slowly but definitely leaving.

I guess if they would have had first hand experience touching me like Remy, they'd probably stay away.

Unfortunately, Remy had done no such thing. Ditched me, I mean. Right now, I think we maintain a good friendship, as a relation. And thats all I want from him I guess. I mean, my head was filled up with Logan, though I'd refrain to accept it in front of anybody, and with another guy, I'd probably go insane.

After a dinner with him when I first joined here, we had set things straight. He knew only the most basic things about me, like where I lived before I came here, the stuff I did. In return, I got only the basic things. Remy, who was also called Gambit by some, possessed the ability to manipulate kinetic energy. He also confessed that he had a hypnotic charm (I was sure that was it the first time we met when my eyes kept going back to him!) and could do well with a staff in a combat, if things came down to it.

He didn't of course confess that he was a professional thief, something that I had learnt when I touched him along with a couple of other things. But the contact was very brief to say anything. And the fact that he was seeking redemption from his past made me realize that he was a friend just like all others at the mansion. After all, from what I see of it, the mansion was a place where many had confessed taking advantage of their powers over humans. I also realized that Gambit (though I like calling him Remy) is fiercely proud of his Louisiana heritage.

Now, I refrained from touching him all together. I was back to gloves and all of me was covered except my face, which I think I cannot mask.

_Focus, Rogue_.

Jubilee was still on the other line. I had of course told her just what was really important – like I was fine, working and happy. I hadn't given her any of the deeper details, like where I worked, what I actually did or where stayed these days.

"Hey sugah," I said, on the phone, "You know I'm working right now and I can't really talk. I've got custom–"

"Where the hell are you?" Logan's voice growled from the other side of the phone.

I almost dropped the phone from the shock of hearing his voice. My heartbeat increased and I felt myself hyperventilating. I took a couple deep breaths trying to calm myself down after hearing that voice for the first time in almost two years now. "L-Logan?" I stuttered.

God, if he was using Jubilee's number, then he was obviously back home. Back at the mansion, I mean.

I looked up to see Remy's eyes on me as he sipped his drink, something he wouldn't tell me about. Only Stacy made him drinks. Right now, he was taking his break from work. I could see people howling behind him, exclaiming on their winnings. Well, without Remy, they could sure as hell use those fifteen minutes.

"You bet, bub!"

"You're back?"

"Would have been back sooner or later."

I was still reeling from the shock of hearing Logan's voice. What was he doing calling me after all these years? Where was he was the past couple of years?

"What do you want?" I said, recovering immediately. If I was on the phone for too long, he might as well track my call. I mean, I had changed my number, begged Jubilee, the sole person in the mansion who knew my number, not to trace it. Maybe, Logan talked her into letting him talk to me. But how could Jubilee do this to me?

"Marie, come on–"

"Rogue."

"What?"

"Rogue, call me Rogue."

"What are you sayin' kid?"

"If you've got nothing better to talk about while you track my call, then I'd better say goodbye."

He growled. "Marie, you wouldn't dare!"

Yeah, that'll be a blow to his huge ego, right? Marie, a mere kid, hanging up on him.

"You bet, bub" I said, using his own words, "I'm not coming back, Logan, whatever you say. You did what you wanted, I'll do what I want."

"What are you talkin' about kid?"

I sighed. "You left without a word, remember? I merely followed your footsteps."

"Marie—"

"Rogue," I corrected.

"_Marie_," he said, as if in controlled voice. "Come back home. Wherever you are, come back. I'm warnin' you kid. You're gonna regret it otherwise."

"Right. Goodbye, Logan."

"Marie, don't you hang up on me. I swear—"

That's when I disconnected the call.

I looked back down at the phone, my eyes fixed on 'Call ended' that was displayed there. Suddenly, the text vanished replaced by my phone's wallpaper. It was a scene of Winter, ice and frozen trees — a symbol of the kind of life I lived now.

I cursed myself. Why didn't I disonnect the call the moment I heard his voice? I threatened disconnecting the call but I couldn't until he started all his swearing and 'kid'ing me. That got me really angry to finally realize what I was doing — helping him track me down.

But hearing his voice, after so long… how could I? How could I stop listening to all his swearing that I was so used to, that it was an almost normal speech with him?

And the only conclusion I knew was that I had it bad for this guy. After so many years, after telling myself to get over him night after night, after telling myself everyday to stop thinking about him, I was still stuck where I began from. I was no more farther from him than I was two years back. I was still gullible sixteen year old, little Rogue who couldn't take care of herself and had fallen hard for the Wolverine, who wouldn't return her feelings, who didn't even know she had feelings for him, or maybe he knew and chose to ignore? There were so many unanswered questions, so much I wanted to know, and yet, everytime I turned around to ask him for answers, he was never there.

He is never there.

God, I'm loosing it.

_Calm down, Rogue_.

I bit my lower lip as I considered my situation. Logan probably had tracked my call because of my sheer stupidity. Well, I deserved it right if he did. How could I be such an idiot to keep talking to him for so long? Even if he might not have the exact location, even if he had just the name of the town, he would come to the Billy's. I was so sure.

After all, we met here for the very first time.

Or maybe, I was over-estimating things. Logan didn't care for me, right? Why would he come back here then? But then, this place had cage fights and Logan would do anything for a cage fight. If he knew there was a place in town that had that particular perk, I was so sure he would drop by.

Maybe I chose the wrong place to hide, after all.

_Hiding_? Where did that come from? God, I wasn't hiding. Not from Logan. Not from anybody.

Or was I?

No, I wasn't. I'm definitely not hiding.

Anyway, I had enough money to travel south. For weeks now, I had been thinking about finally breaking this to Remy and Stacy. I wanted to leave. Staying at one place for long wasn't what I had planned before. All the more, I wanted to meet more mutants out there and know about them. It was fun. Weird huh? But I don't know, I wanted to know more people of my kind, probably help them. Besides Remy, I had met a few more mutants at the bar in the past few months. Remy told me how there was a chance of ten mutants in every hundred humans, which was quite a number of people who were mutants out there.

I knew that many of them didn't even acknowledge themselves as mutants, hid their identities or cried at nights due to it. Once, I was one of them. Today, I'd want to help people like those and probably send them to the Mansion for Professor's help.

"Are you okay, chère?" Remy said, softly, bending ahead.

I nodded. "Yes," I lied. I wasn't okay. I wasn't okay AT ALL.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded again.

"Chère," he said, smiling, "I know something's up. But if you don't want to talk about it right now, its okay. Anyway, did you by any chance, say Logan? As in…the guy with claws?"

My eyes snapped back to him from the phone's screen, which I kept looking at. "You know him?" I asked.

He nodded. "I do, actually."

"How?" I asked, in spite myself.

"We… uh, we went on this mission together. We worked together on it."

"Really?" I asked.

He nodded. "Saved a few kids back then. Our kind."

"Oh."

Why was I so interested in knowing everything about that stupid Logan? Why couldn't I just quit troubling myself with him? Why should I care what he wants, what he does, where he goes?

I knew I had to break this to Remy and Stacy sooner than I thought. Probably tomorrow? I don't know. Just soon. Until then, I know I wasn't hiding and if-if Logan reaches here, I knew Remy would always be around to give me a hand against Logan if I needed.

Though of course, even when put together we wouldn't stand a chance against him. Unless I used my powers. Which I wouldn't even think of doing.

There was one thing though. I wouldn't obey Logan like a kid, whatever it took. I wasn't Marie, for Lord's sake and I wasn't going to behave like her. Logan already bled her to death. Now, there was only Rogue and Logan would have to deal with her.

"Does he want to… uh, harm you in anyway, chère?" Remy asked me, a serious note to his voice.

"No," I shook my head. "It's just… a bit complicated. Of course he wouldn't hurt me. You know I'm capable of taking care of myself, right?" I asked, smiling at him.

"Of course," he said, smiling back at our secret joke.

The joke that my life is.

"Okay, I gotta go back," he said, finishing his drink. "Gotta crash their dreams," he nodded back at the people winning cards. I nodded as Remy got up and back to the table. I was so sure I heard a collective groan. I smiled again as Remy sat down on his chair, watched him playing like a pro with the cards, shuffling them, dealing them. And winning, oh, nobody could defeat Remy while I served the customers and got their mugs.

* * *

><p>"Beer," growled a rough voice from somewhere behind me. I almost froze in shock. Yes, I did freeze when I heard his voice on phone. But this time, I knew it was real. Like really real. Because I could actually feel goose-bumps. Especially on my neck and my back, where I was so sure, he was looking.<p>

I turned my head to face our new customer.

"And you thought you could run away so easily," he said, smiling.

It was merely a day since that phone call. How could Logan find me so easily? Was I such a failure at hiding myself?

Again that word! God, I was not hiding from anybody!

"Logan," I said softly, as if in a trance. He smiled some more at me. A couple seconds later, I snapped out of it, blinking my eyes a couple more times than necessary. It had been a long time since I had last seen him, but he seemed same as forever. The grim line for a mouth, hair messed up, eyes as black as midnight and of course, he was handsome as ever, not a day older.

My traitor heart started beating faster and I blushed madly, turning my face around to look at the rows of alcoholic drinks. A particular bottle of red wine caught my eye and I stared into its red depths, trying to calm myself down. I had forgotten how I felt with him, how my heart beat at his sight, how I drank his words, his orders before. I knew that Logan could probably hear my heart beating.

Damn him for everything he could do — make me stare at him, make my heart beat faster, make me want to hug him close to myself, lay my head on his strong muscled shoulder—

_Rogue, stop. Shut up._

Finally, I turned around, not exactly facing him. I saw him run an eye over me and I felt the blush retreating. I shut my eyes for patience and moved a bit to looked behind him at Remy. He was dealing cards and involved in playing. Instinctively, Logan looked back to see where I was looking at.

I turned back my attention to him quickly, getting him his beer. As I slapped the his beer-mug down on the bar, his attention snapped back from Remy to me. I looked at him silently, my hand still on his mug, as he lit a cigar. The familiar smell of his cigar hit me and I looked at him, while he continued to look back at me, straight in the eye, now smoking.

I was about to say something to him, when a customer, a blonde haired pretty woman, a little farther away from Logan demanded a shot of vodka. I quickly poured her her drink and shuffled back to Logan, making up my mind about how best to convince him to leave me alone.

"Logan, I thought I made myself pretty clear," I said angrily, looking straight back into his black eyes. "I don't want to come with you, or in fact anyone."

"Marie, I told Professor that I'd bring you back. I promised Jubilee and Storm. I'm not leaving without you. I have a responsibility, that I intend to-"

I looked away, trying to calm all my anger down. It wouldn't help to be jobless for the two weeks I intended to stay here. But when he mentioned 'responsibily', I couldn't help but scoff.

"Right. Responsibilty. What would you know about it?"

"Don't try to be over-smart with me. Drop the act. Lets go, kid."

Shit, that word over again. It made my hands twitch. "Just stop calling me a kid!" I said, a little louder. People around me stared at us. I lowered my voice. "I'm not a kid anymore, Logan. What do I have to do to prove it to you? Can't you understand? I'm-I was a part of X-Men, I've fought so many people, I've absorbed just as many identities. You can't imagine how much I know and understand. You've never seen me as anything but a mere kid. I'm not a kid anymore! And you, definitely have no right to call me that."

"Look, Mar—"

"No, you look," I said a bit more forcefully than I intended, "I don't really have any patience with you. Please leave to take care of myself. I free you from the responsibility that you feel towards me. I no longer need a baby-sitter. I wish you would leave me on my own as soon as you finish drinking that beer of yours, so we don't create a scene here."

Then, I turned around to leave, but Logan got a hold on my hand. I glared at his hand and then back at him. With a jerk I freed my hand. I felt all tingly where he had touch me but I gave no attention to it. "Leave me alone," I said, this time exasperated.

God, was I intimidated by him? Because I was so not intimidated by him. I had thought about this. I had rehearsed it over and over in my mind. When he called me yesterday, I did think how I would shout at him and make him regret all that he had done to me. Make him regret that he left me. I thought I would face him with my face livid and my voice full of the anger that I felt for him. Right now, my voice was barely a squeak.

But that was probably because I hadn't thought I'd have to meet him today! The very next freaking day I had the shock of hearing his voice the first time in two years!

"Marie, you don't look a day older since the last time I saw you," he said, grimly, a slight concern in his eyes. "Have you grown at all? What's your weight?"

I looked at him, irritated more than ever. All my thoughts about being patient with him flew out of the window and I glowered at him. "Are you shitting me, Logan?" I shook my head, clutching the edge of the bar. "I freed you. I just did. I'm adult. I have a house, a job, a happy life. But you have to act like a father to me all the time! What is your freaking problem? Take your ass outta here before I kill you!"

Maybe killing was a bit exaggerated but he didn't have to know. Though he probably did know.

God, was he kidding me? I bloody well loved him and he was asking me about my weight? Maybe if I kissed him square on the mouth, he'd probably think I was kissing him to wipe something off his face!

But really, he couldn't be that dumb, right? He was with women. He'd been with so many of them. So why did he have to act all blunt with me?

"Come on Marie," he said. "I'm not acting like a father. Just a friend. I mean, you don't seem to have grown at all. Shouldn' that be a compliment for you girls, huh?"

When I merely glared some more at him, he continued, "Don't be like this. You know I care for you. And you know that the Mansion is the best place for you to be."

"I'm going nowhere," I said determinedly. "Don't you get it? I want you to leave. Just _leave_ Logan before this gets out of hand."

"You are not getting rid of me that easily Marie."

"Really? I always thought it was real easy on your part. I thought _you_ could ditch me whenever _you_ liked."

"Marie I was out for a while— "

"A while?" I scoffed. "A while? Logan you don't age, people around you do. Maybe that was nothing for you, but those were two years of my life. Two freaking years." I said, interrupting him. "Anyway, that place is not home for me, Logan."

"Funny how you used to refer to it as home."

"Used to. Past tense. I almost killed a kid back at the mansion, Logan. He woke up a month later. I'm not going back so that I can harm more kids."

"We'll keep watch Marie," he said, his eyes suddenly soft. "I'll keep a watch. Nothing like that will ever happen again."

"You will have to be there to keep a watch, Logan" I hissed.

"Marie— "

"Enough," I said, angrily. "I'm not going back. I'm tired of that place. I'm tired of _you_ and everybody else. I want a life for me, for once. And I'm very happy living it, doing a job that I enjoy and living life the way I want."

One of the customers called me for a refill and I quickly filled his mug. I replayed all the things I did for him in my mind, how I acted pathetically like a love-sick puppy to an asshole like him. I thought about how I waited for him, while he never came back. I served a couple of orders on some tables, while Stacy took over the bar.

Remy caught my eye once and looked at me questioningly. I smiled at him, as if to tell what's up? Back at the bar, I noticed Logan following my every movement.

I refilled another customer's mug, who made a silly joke and then made a pass at me. By the time I was back to Logan, I was seething. I became angrier as I noticed his raised eye-brow.

"What?" I asked, glaring at him.

"This is where you work?" He asked, angrily. "This is the job you _enjoy_ doing?"

I flushed slightly, knowing that he had heard everything with his super-sensitive hearing. Damn him.

"And who's that guy who keeps throwin' you glances? Whom you keep smilin' at?"

"A friend."

"Right. And what kind of friends this place has to offer, I can very well see."

"What do you mean?" I said, angrily.

"You have a place to live, eat and sleep back at Mansion. People who call you family and love you. And you choose _this_ over that?" He said, quirking an eye-brow.

I shrugged. "Maybe I'm not happy with all that love, Logan," I said, making an indirect reference to him. "Maybe I don't need them to love me. Maybe I something more than filial love. Maybe I don't need anybody to tell me what to do, to kid me around."

He looked at me all confused, so I just quit trying to work this out with him. Logan and me, we'd never work.

"Okay, I'll say this straight. I'm not leaving. Neither do I want to discuss this. I want nothing to do with _you _or anybody else from back at the Mansion. I'm not leaving _this_ place just so that I could go back and you could skip over to your _merrymaking _again! I'm no more the child you took on yourself to protect and you are no longer the man who offered that protection. Hell, you never cared. Because you never were there, Logan. For me. Or even for the sake of that promise. So get the bloody well lost!"

Logan looked at me, blinking. "I wasn't merrymaking, godammit! I was in grief!"

"Then please go and continue your mourning. For as long as you wish. Just leave me alone."

"What has happened to you, Marie? You—"

"Exactly," I said, thumping the table a bit to prove my point. "I'm not Marie! Call me Rogue. I'm Rogue. I don't know why I stupidly told you to call me Marie. Because I'm Rogue and that's what I like to be called!"

"I'll call you Marie for as long as I wish and I'd like to see you stop me. And you are coming with me. That's final. Enough with your act. As soon as I finish this," he said, raising his mug, which was almost finished, "We're leaving!"

"No, we are not," I said, glowering back at him. "I will do as I wish, Logan. I will do what I want. I'm an adult. You're not my parent or guardian. So stop behaving like one."

"Are you even of age for bartenderin', kid?" He said, matching my glare, and bending a bit forwards over the bar. "Does the Manager know? I don't think so."

"Logan, don't," I said, sensing danger. "I'm almost twenty one. Its legal even at eighteen in some states. I swear, if you create a scene here—"

"Manager!" Logan shouted, cutting me off. Then he lowered his tone and added, "No, Marie, its illegal. You_ are_ under twenty one. And I think that your Manager doesn't know. And if he does, I swear I'll make him regret employin' you. What will you do then, huh?"

"Don't you dare, Logan," I hissed at him.

"Oh, you'll see what all I can dare to do!" He said, smiling in a lethal way.

"Free beer from me. Just keep your mouth shut."

"Really? You think beer can keep my mouth shut?" Then, raising his voice he shouted again, "Manager!"

"A pack of cigar," I said bending closer to him, almost begging him to shut up. For a second, my eyes traveled down to his lips and then, back to his eyes, which were dark like the sky at night. Hopeless. "Please shut up."

For a second, that smug smile was off his face as he looked into my eyes. He licked his lips, then, looked at me. I found myself bending even closer to him, towards his lips.

Before anything could happen though, he stood up. "Maybe you really can buy me off," he said, smiling as if nothing had happened.

I looked at him shell-shocked, rejected again. Michael came hurried now.

"Yes Sir?" He asked Logan.

"Um, what?" Logan tried the innocent act, which didn't suit him at all.

"You did call me, right?" Michael said.

"Oh yeah," he said, smiling. "Good service."

"He's drunk," I supplied automatically, finally straightening up.

He smiled sweetly at us and turned to Logan. "Very well, Sir."

Just then Remy reached us and Michael, who was leaving, glared at him. "You just had your break!" He hissed at him.

He complained, "But, Sir, I need to talk to Rogue. I'll just— "

"Get back to the table."

"But, sir—"

"Get back to the table, Gambit."

Remy didn't look at Michael, only at me. All of us knew that Michael wouldn't fire Remy if he didn't want some heavy loses at his hands. I nodded at him to tell him that everything was under control. Then, he looked at Logan once and returned to his table.

With that, Michael left.

"You and me are going to talk. Now."

"Just give me a few minutes," I said, numbly.

I knew that this was fucking blackmailing but I also knew I couldn't do a thing about it. If I didn't talk to him, he would make me loose my job, something that I wasn't ready to stake at any cost.

"Okay. I'll be around till then," Logan told me, gulping down the remains of his drink in one go.

And then, I couldn't help as my eyes took him in. He was wearing a white shirt coupled with brown jacket and blue jeans that hugged him perfectly. My eyes traveled back to his eyes and I saw he was looking right back at me. Caught staring, I looked away and saw another customer, who was waiting for me to bring him drink.

I nodded at Logan and went to serve him as Logan got up, took his jacket off and tossed it to me. Then, he turned around and went to the crowd cheering for the cage fights. Oh well, I knew this would happen. He would fight and win every single one of those damned fights.

Still holding his jacket, I looked at him. He was still in my line of vision as I considered running away. But I knew he would catch hold of me again, even if I did try. I served that customer and finally decided that I'd watch him fight like the old times. Anyway, it wasn't sensible to work with him around. He already didn't like the place much, for me anyway. For his part, I knew he had been to worse places. I just didn't want him provoked into doing something that would cost my job as I served, in case he noticed the worst part of the job – the harassing customers.

Yes, I said I wouldn't follow his orders, but I was everything exactly the way he wanted. And after being rejected by him over again. I guess I was used to this rejection. Because somehow, it hadn't stung as bad as it did before. Maybe two years away from him had helped me after all.

I reached Michael with Logan's jacket tucked under my arm, and asked him if I could wind it up for the day. It was almost dinner time anyway. "Michael, do you mind if I take off for today? I've a got a…" What? Frenemy? "A friend, whom I met after a long time."

"There are lot customers around Rogue," Michael said, shaking his head, looking around. "I don't think we would be able to work without you here."

Forced again to use Ethan's powers, I focused all of the remaining power on convincing Michael to let me go. Finally, he agreed and I changed into my clothes – a white blouse and black jacket, blue jeans skirt coming to an inch above my knees, below which, I wore pantyhose. Along with these, I was wearing black boots.

I had stopped wearing skirts until the cure. After the cure failed, well, I couldn't exactly quit wearing them, so I started wearing pantyhose along with them.

I reached the staff's lockers, Logan's jacket still with me. Suddenly, I realized I hadn't let go of it since Logan had given it to me. Cursing myself, I left his jacket along with my uniform in the locker and went towards the cheering crowd.

Since I had started working here, these eight months, I had avoided this part of the bar completely because of Logan. This place was so much of a reminder of him that I preferred to stay away. Anyway, the shouting and sight of sweaty men was too much for me. I chose to remain at the calmer side.

Pushing my way through the taller ones, I came closer where I saw him standing inside, fighting a man, who was probably twice his size. An onlooker might have placed his bets on Logan's opponent due to his size. If so, they were loosing sorely because Logan was clearly winning.

His opponent was panting, leaning against the cage, his hand on his sweaty chest. He was fighting in shorts, as compared to Logan who still had his shirt and jeans on. His shirt was almost wet with sweat. As if listening onto my thoughts, suddenly Logan took his shirt off carelessly and threw it away. From the opposite side of the cage, I saw three girls cheer loudly at his stunt, hands flying, eyes in awe, while I bristled.

My breath hitched as he turned around to look directly at me. I looked down at his chest, my eyes traveling down to front of his jeans. Ashamed, I quickly looked up and still saw him looking at me, his face expressionless. I blushed madly, looking away. God, he had caught me staring his jeans-front.

I gulped and my heart-beat picked up again as I looked up to see Logan still looking at me. Suddenly, I saw the fat man advance towards Logan from behind.

Before I could stop myself, I shouted, "Behind you!" as several eyes focused on me and then, back at Logan. Maybe, I should have let him get hit. A little revenge from me?

But of course Marie wouldn't do anything wrong. God I was sick of goody-goody Marie. I desperately needed to have Rogue in my life.

Logan was already on his opponent again, beating the pulp out of him. Punches after punches rained upon him as Logan gained in on him, people cheering loudly around us.

With a final kick, the man was on the ground as Logan still looked at him for any sign of movement. I looked at his back, rippling with muscles. For a second, I imagined what it would be like to hold him close to me, my hands around his chest.

Shit, naked Logan was getting to me. Presuming that he knew I was ready to go, I quickly turned around and went towards the staff's lockers again, retrieving Logan's jacket and telling Stacy that I was leaving. Then, I walked towards Remy who was dealing the cards. Most of the people thought I was Remy's girlfriend and didn't mind the bartender of the bar, talking to the guy who defeated everybody at cards every freaking day. Because of this, I had to take everybody's messages to Remy. Even Michael conveyed his orders to Remy through me since it seemed less suspicious relating to the whole Remy-working-for-the-bar thing.

"Uh, Remy?" I said, as he looked back at me, raising an eye-brow. "Can I have a minute?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, getting up and moving away a bit from the cards' table.

"Stacy wants me to tell you that she needs a ride back home."

He nodded.

"And Michael, he's really angry with you. With your mutiny back there."

He smiled and nodded again.

"And I'm, uh, leaving for tonight."

"Early?" He asked, looking up at me. "With Logan?"

"Yeah. Um, Logan's here and he wanted to talk, so…"

"Hmmm. You're sure he's safe, right?" He asked, with concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"I mean, I was so certain that you were… you were going to kiss him," he said, looking away.

"Yeah, pretty freaky, huh? Guess I drank too much."

"Rogue, you hardly drink at all," he said, his eyes back on me.

I looked up at him caught. "That's not true. I do drink."

"Yeah, but never to drink enough to kiss random guys."

I shrugged, looking away. "I guess I'm probably loosing it then."

Suddenly, Remy hugged me. Just like that. Out of the blue. I felt his hands pressing against my back and pulling me close. Like he was really concerned about me. As if we were hugging for the last time.

And well, I hugged him back. He smelled so good and clean and masculine. I smiled as we left one another finally.

"You're pretty sure about him not being dangerous, right?" He asked again.

"Trusting a man with Adamantium claws sure could be a little difficult. But trust me. The most he could do is drag me home."

Remy looked at me skeptically and I added a 'Just kidding' before finally moving outside the bar, where I was joined by my blackmailer a couple minutes later.

The three girls who were cheering for him had followed him out and were standing in the doorway. I looked back at them, feeling like going and punching their faces in, with the way they were giggling and pointing at him. I mean, they were barely eighteen from the looks of it.

"Ready, kid?" He asked as I shook my head. He would perhaps never quit calling me kid.

"You've got fans following you now," I said nodding my head to the girls.

"Well, I am a star after all," he said, as I blistered again and threw his jacket at him. "Don't you remember the days when you were one of them?"

I looked up at him disbelievingly. "Will you shut up?" I said angrily, leading the way.

Of course this was a joke for him. Poor young Marie hanging onto every word he said, following him like a love-sick puppy.

"What, you can't take a joke now?" He said, grumpily.

I turned around, my eyes blazing. "Sure. My whole life is a joke for you, isn't it Logan? I regret the day I climbed in your van now more than ever. Wherever else I would have been, I would have been in a better state than this."

And before I lost control over my tear-glands, I quickly walked ahead.

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><p><em>AN: Thanks to **tanya2byour21**, **LuckedClover**, **BlackDog616** and **Ileah **for reviewing._

_**BlackDog616**: Here's what you were waiting for, right? Logan's entry. I'll be posting his view too, but a little later._

_**Ileah**: I'm sure I won't make Rogue look bad, believe me. (:_

_So what do you say about this one? Review it and tell me!_


	4. Hurt and Betrayed

_A/N: Hey guys! I'm back. :) So, here's your new chapter, all ready for you to read and review!_

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

**Hurt and Betrayed**

"So you… live here?" Logan asked, looking around at my modest apartment that I had rented for the time being. At one side, there was a window and a bed, with a cupboard at the bed's feet. There was a toilet/bathroom attached to it, following to a kitchen and then a living room with a settee set.

"Yes, I do. And I'm perfectly happy with the place," I snapped at him.

"With that friend of yours just round the corner?"

"Absolutely," I said, rudely.

Of course I didn't mind telling him that everyone at my workplace lived around here.

"What are you so snappy about, Marie?" He asked, sitting on the couch.

"Will you stop calling me that?" I said in an exasperated voice, sitting opposite to him on the couch.

"I will not," he smiled. "And I want answers now. Quick and straight. And off with that frown on your face."

"Hey!" I complained.

"Enough with your whinin' now. Tell me, why don't you want to go back?"

"Because I don't," I said, picking up a magazine from the table in front of me.

In a blink of my eye, Logan took the magazine from me and flipped it back on the table. I looked at him with a frown in my face.

"Look at _me_ when I speak."

"But I don't want to look at you," I said, turning my face away.

"What has happened to you, kid?" He asked, standing up. "Why are you being like this?"

"Because I'm tired of you, Logan," I said, standing up too. I was angry and Logan was going to face the real Rogue. The Rogue that I am now. "I'm tired of you being yourself. I just want you to get lost from my life. Why won't you leave me alone?"

"Because you are my responsibility!" He shouted. "You are that one thing that I don't want to mess up in my life!"

"Well, then congrats," I said, feigning a smile, "You've already accomplished the task! You left me alone, behind you. You never looked back. And now, when you suddenly realized that you want that old life back, you come here being all daddy with me and wish me to forget everything you did!"

"I told you that I'm not trying to be your father. I'm just a friend who is trying to keep the promise that he–"

That's when I lost it. I lost all control, my anger getting the better of me. "Well, then it's too late!" I almost screamed each word. "Because if it suddenly struck you one morning about a broken promise, doesn't mean things would turn back the way they were two years back! Sorry Logan, but I cannot forget those two years with a snap of your fingers. I'm very satisfied here and I don't want to come back and have the same thing happen to me all over again, when you lose your heart to another Jean complete her Scott. Because–"

"Marie, don't go there," Logan warned me suddenly.

I stopped, my mouth hanging open, more angry now than ever.

"Really? Logan would you stop already? You still think she loved you?"

"Rogue, don't," he said, his eyes on the ground, his jaw clenched. The hands on his sides were turned into fists and he was shaking a bit.

"Oh, now I'm Rogue? Right. The mere mention of her name and I'm Rogue from Marie! Don't you get it Logan? Don't you see what she's done to you? She wasn't worth you!"

"Rogue," I heard Logan growl and when he raised his eyes to look at me, the first thing I noticed was the change in the color of his eyes. Whoa. They were suddenly amber and glowing faintly golden. And then, I noticed his glare. Logan was glaring at me. And it was not one of those 'You-shouldn't-have-done-this-Marie' glares or the 'Now-you're-going-to-be-punished' glares. No, it was one of those murderous glares.

For a second I froze to my spot. Logan was giving me death glares because I spoke about his precious Jean?

I suddenly felt jealous and really angry. So this was how it was.

"That's it!" I said, looking at him. "I've had enough. I'm not going back. I've already seen it all once! You lose your heart over somebody totally unattainable like Jean, then she's all, 'Oh, I'm engaged Logan', and you are, 'But I like you Jean' and then, the usual heroine dilemma - 'Who to choose? Who to choose?'. Enough with drama, Logan. I cannot take it anymore! I cannot take you're your mood swings which change with Jean's choice of the man for the day. I can't see you pinning over somebody who destroyed you. I cannot see you die everyday because you had to kill the monster that Jean was. I cannot see you–"

That's when he struck me. Logan slapped me so hard that I fell back on the couch, clutching my red face, my mouth hanging open.

For a second, I saw the stars revolving around my head. And then, when the initial sharp sting was over, I realized what Logan had done. He hit me.

"You hit me?" I asked, my eyes wide with disbelief. My hand clutched my face as I felt a sort of heat where Logan had hit me.

"Yes, I did," he said, sneering at me. "You deserved it. You have no right to talk about _me_ like that."

Me? I talked about Jean and he was hanging on what I said about him?

I looked up and saw Logan shaking again, his eyes fixed on the ground, his fists clenched at his sides.

Suddenly, he looked up at me, his eyes fixed on mine. This time, he merely looked shocked.

"Your eyes," he suddenly said, his face a mask of worry. Yeah sure. Worry. Ha!

"What?" I asked, confused.

"N-nothing."

I shook my head. It took a few minutes for me to say anything again during which I looked down at the marble floor.

"I can't believe you hit me," I said, standing up now.

Now, Logan was merely looking at my face where had hit me.

"I-I hit you?" He asked, looking stunned.

I scoffed. "I can't believe you hit me because of Jean who couldn't keep herself to one man. Who could never decide who to choose."

"She was decided, Marie. It was Scott. It was always Scott," he said as if in a trance.

"Right. Then answer me truthfully this once. Did Jean ever kiss you?"

That shut up Logan up whatever Logan was about to say next. He licked his lips, looking at me with hard eyes.

"Tell me Logan. I want the truth," I whispered.

Logan stepped towards me and held my shoulders. "You have to know, Marie, that things were not easy for both of us. You just cannot blame Jean for this. It was Phoenix who kissed me, not Jean. It wasn't Jean. And it was nothing more than a mere kiss, Marie! I mean, I stopped things from going further. I knew it wasn't right, it wasn't Jean. I knew Jean wouldn't have wanted it. It was the Phoenix guiding her. She had lost all control."

I almost staggered back, removing his hands from my shoulders, as I realized what he had said. It was as if time slowed down and his words kept repeating themselves in my head.

_It was Phoenix who kissed me, not Jean._

_It was nothing more than a mere kiss, Marie!_

_I mean, I stopped things from going further_.

It was as if somebody had slapped me.

Very hard.

He did it.

He had kissed Jean. And _he_ stopped things from going further.

And that was just what he was telling. What if things were beyond that? I mean, Jean really did look at Logan. I had seen her. She gave him those looks. What if Logan was lying?

I scoffed, looking up at him. "You mean, things would have gone beyond–"

"But we stopped. I stopped. It wasn't Jean, it was the Phoenix–"

I put up my hand to tell him to shut up and kept looking up at him. I knew I would start crying if I didn't leave. And there was one thing I knew certainly. I wasn't going to cry in front of Logan. I wasn't going to show him that his personal life affected me.

"Keep telling yourself that, Logan. And before I leave, I'd like to remind you that it was you who stopped, not her. The Phoenix only made Jean lose her control over what she wanted and what she didn't. Phoenix was a sort of extended version of Jean, a more impulsive one. I mean, Jean didn't kiss anybody else, right? She didn't kiss Bobby or Hank or anybody else. She kissed _you_. Which meant that in some part of her brain, she wanted it. Have you ever thought it that way?"

Logan looked at me, like he thought about it for the first time. He bowed his head and looked down on the floor.

With that, I decided that I had had enough. I exited the room, left the building, walking as quickly as I could to the parking lot. Then, I only took my car and hit the road.

* * *

><p>I ordered another shot of vodka.<p>

I had already been drinking for half an hour now. I knew that I had drunk beyond my system's control, but hell, I needed to drink.

Logan hit me.

That and the fact that he did have something with Jean kept repeating in my head.

God, maybe I deserved to be hit. I did say a lot of mean things. Jean might have been many things but she wasn't bad. Hell, she sacrificed her life for us at the Alkali Lake, not even thinking twice. And it was true that Phoenix was uncontrollable. Maybe she wouldn't have kissed Logan if it wasn't for Phoenix.

I don't know. I mean, what I told Logan was also the truth. If Jean didn't want it, why did Phoenix do it? I didn't see the Phoenix kissing Professor Xavier for Lord's sake!

But then, there were a lot of things that Phoenix did that Jean wouldn't have done in a hundred lifetimes. She killed people and Jean… she sacrificed her own.

Hell, I didn't know what to believe and what not to believe anymore. My head hurt and yet, I gulped down my drink in one go.

I felt my eyes growing weary. I needed to go home. I mean, I couldn't drive like that. I was sure to hit someone.

Maybe I should call Remy. I took my phone out. I couldn't even look straight, so that it took me full two minutes to find his number. Just as I began to dial it though, I heard a low growl.

"Not that Cajun, again. What has happened to your choice, Marie?"

Logan dropped down on the seat next to mine.

"Get lost," I muttered in a slurring voice, trying to find the dial button.

Suddenly, the phone was wrenched away from my hand.

"Hey!" I complained. Logan merely looked at me grimly.

"I'm sorry, darlin'." He said, touching my cheek, where he had hit me. I froze for a moment at his touch, as he caressed my cheek. "Sorry that I hit you. But hell, you kind of deserved it. You have a bitter mouth, Marie."

"Didn't you hear me?" I said, slapping his hand away. "Get the hell lost!"

God, I couldn't even see his face. I dropped my head on the counter and almost dozed off for a second.

"Get up, Marie. I'm takin' you home."

"What?" I said, suddenly sitting up.

"You're goin' home."

I sat up straight, "Don't you get it?" I shouted at him. "I'm not a Marie! And I'm not doing as you tell me to do!"

I ordered another drink, but Logan barked at the bartender, paid him and told him to get lost.

The bartender scowled at Logan. "Must be difficult with a father like him," he whispered to me.

I did a double take. "Shut up," I snapped. "He's not my father."

With that said, I went back at my attempt to sleep because I really couldn't do anything else.

Logan chuckled as the bartender said, "But she's got your traits."

"You are not getting rid of me so easily, Marie. Everybody back home is expecting me to bring you back. We'll go back toge–"

"Told you!" I shouted at him. "I'm not going back. Plus, nobody wants me. Not that kid I hurt anyway. I'm better off here. Don't you see?"

"How many times do I have to tell you the same thing? It was the kid's fault, not yours."

"And how many times do I have to tell you that no matter the way you look at it, the kid was hurt because of me. It doesn't change anything!"

Arguing was exhausting. I felt like I was going to drop any time now.

"Get up, Marie," Logan said, standing up beside me.

"No!" I replied, my head nestled in my arms.

"Up!" He commanded from somewhere above me.

"No," I said again, my voice muffled this time. I was tired and I wanted to sleep. Damn him. "Leave me alone."

Suddenly, I was wrenched up from my stool and I was standing straight, facing Logan, with his face inches away from mine. My eyes widened as I looked down at him.

God, Logan was hot.

My eyes dropped down to his lips and I realized he was saying something. I couldn't really get what he was saying but it was a lot of I'm really disappointed in you's.

Hell, I really was drunk. He was lecturing me and I was thinking how hot he was. Even when he rejected me today the way he did.

Momentarily, my eyes focused beyond Logan, behind his left arm.

I froze all over again, the third time today. I gasped looking at her.

Surely, I was day-dreaming?

No, it was night. And I was drunk. Yes, I was definitely drunk. And that's why I was seeing her.

Because in no way could Jean be back.

"Do you get it?" Logan asked me, shaking me this time.

Her image didn't melt away even after several blinks. "Logan," I whispered, trying to stay awake.

"You are really drunk," Logan said, jerking my shoulder. "I should get you back to your apartment."

"Jean," I whispered.

I still gaped at the figure of Jean beyond the glass doors of the bar, looking at the smiling face.

"What?" Logan caught up, finally looking at her. He turned around and that's when I knew I wasn't day-dreaming. That's when I knew it wasn't that I was seeing her because I was drunk or something. I knew that he saw her too, because just like me, he gasped.

"It's her," he said, stalling. He left me completely, so that I collapsed into my stool again. I looked up, offended.

Angrily, I tried getting up, but my legs gave away and fell right on the floor. That's when Logan finally looked at me. He pulled me up quickly, as Jean's figure disappeared from the door.

"It's her," Logan repeated. "Where is she going? I have to go after her," Logan said, pulling me with him. "Run, Marie, come on!"

"But she's dead," I whispered again, feeling the familiar fear of losing Logan to Jean. God, it was happening all over again. "You killed her, Logan. Her grave is in the Mansion. It can't be her."

"But it's obviously her!" Logan countered. "Can't you see? Faster, Marie!"

"I can't go any faster!" I said, tripping over something for the third time now, as Logan pulled me to the front door. "Is it _her_ smell, Logan?"

"She's too far away! Beyond the glass doors! I can't smell her, Marie." Then, he looked at me. "Look, why don't you wait here?" he said, shoving me into a chair near the door. "I'll be right back."

"Logan?" I said, disbelieving. He was leaving me alone? Like this? All drunk?

"Call Remy and wait for him," he said, returning me my phone. "Don't move. I'll be back in a second, okay?"

"Logan–" I said, clutching my phone tightly, as he moved away. I suddenly felt sick and close to throwing up.

"I'll be back in a moment," he said. "Wait for me or Remy. Nobody else. Okay?"

"Logan–" I muttered, suddenly feeling blackness etching around the corner of my vision.

But Logan was already gone.

And that's when I lost my consciousness.

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><p><em>Review and inspire me! :D<em>


	5. Juggernaut

_Hey guys! First of all, thank you for reviewing this story or putting this story on your favorite/alert list._

_Second, something about this chapter – this is the longest chapter yet (more than twenty pages). And I guess, this one is more interesting than the last couple chapters because there is finally some activity in this one. It doesn't have much of Logan though. Also, I've changed the way Remy talks because I suddenly realized that. I'd probably change that in other chapters too._

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

**Juggernaut**

"Chère? Chère wake up!" I heard Remy call out to me. But I was too drowsy and I wanted to sleep.

Shucks, my head hurt. Badly.

"Remy I wanna sleep!" I whined, trying to turn away from him. "Go away!"

God that hurt. Speaking hurt.

He chuckled and I groaned inwardly, searching for my pillow around. Only I couldn't find my pillow. It was something rather hard than my bed. Like leather.

Also, why was Remy inside my apartment?

And why the hell did I smell alcohol so much?

"Rogue, get up!" Remy said, pushing me up.

With real efforts, I got up. My head was feeling like it would split open any second. I blinked my eyes a few times in the dim lighting.

"What? Where am I?" I asked, taking support against the seat I was sprawled on before.

"He left you here. That Logan. Like this."

I closed my eyes trying to remember my last conscious thought through the splitting headache, in an effort to prove Remy wrong. Because Logan couldn't do that to me. He wouldn't. Logan cared for me in spite of everything and I knew he wouldn't leave me like this. All alone. In a bar filled with all sorts of people.

I looked around, tears filling my eyes, remembering how Logan had run after Jean, leaving me helpless.

"Are you crying, chère?" Remy asked.

"No," I lied outrageously, wiping my eyes clean. My head hurt even more, if it was possible and I felt like throwing things around. Or maybe hit my head on the wall before throwing things around to stop the immense pain.

"My head hurts," I murmured, sliding against Remy. Only, then I remembered. I looked back up at him. "What are you doing here?" I asked him.

He smiled, though his smile didn't reach his eyes like always. "Remy followed you."

"You did?" I smiled.

"Had to ensure that you were safe."

I smiled a bit wider. "Thanks," I said, trying to get up as Remy helped me. "For how long have I been out?" I asked.

"Three hours."

"Three hours?" I asked, gaping. "Why didn't you wake me up before?"

"You were out like a light. Remy waited for you to get a bit sober."

I smiled again. "I think we should get back home now."

He nodded, sliding a hand under my arm and helping me walk out of the bar, which was almost empty now.

"What were you doing while I was out?"

"Looking at you," he answered.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him. He was taller than me.

He smiled. While I watched him, I tripped over something and he clutched me tighter. I smiled again, holding onto him. God, my head hurt really badly.

Once outside, I felt a slight breeze blowing. It stung me and I shivered slightly. Remy, very gentlemanly took out his jacket and dropped them on my arms. I took it gratefully, holding it securely around me.

After walking for a couple minutes, I looked around to see that we were in a darker alley now, walking towards my car. I suddenly remembered that I had lend him my keys in the morning. He had a flat tire and Michael wanted him to go and get a few kegs of alcohol for the bar.

"Remy had to park it here in the dark so you and Logan won't see him," he explained, grinning.

I nodded, leaning against him. He was practically carrying me now.

Suddenly, Remy stopped.

"What happened?" I asked, looking up at him. But Remy's eyes fixed ahead, his beautiful face distorted with annoyance.

I looked up to see what he was looking at and find Logan walking towards us.

All my calmness deserted me and I felt like punching Logan till he dropped to the floor. I looked him straight in the eye, already taking my glove out of my right hand. Today, Logan was going to pay.

Only, I noticed something was off about Logan. There was an almost feminine touch to the way he walked. Also he was smiling widely. I saw him as he approached me, looking at me all the while.

"Aren't we all cozy here?" Logan asked.

"Logan?" I asked, very doubtfully. Something was definitely wrong.

Logan grinned in a not–so–Logan smile. "Are you sure, Rogue?" a female voice said now.

"Mystique," I whispered, recognizing that voice at once. Instinctively I took a small step back and struck Remy's side. I looked up at him as he looked back at her, confusion on his face.

"So you're not as drunk as you look," she said meeting my eye with an eye. "Long time no see." I frowned at her as she looked at Remy and checked him out unabashed. "Nice company," she smiled at him as I stood up straighter.

What was creepy was that she was looking like Logan and speaking in her own voice. I could have never imagined that and here I was looking at the figure of everything that symbolized a man (except his ungentlemanly behavior of leaving me alone in the bar. Oh, and hitting me before that) speaking in a female voice.

"God, what do you want?" I groaned, while maintaining an eye–contact with her (or him, since she looked like Logan) all the while. Loose an eye contact and your opponent thinks you're weak.

"Is that a way to greet now, Rogue?" she continued in her voice now. "Well, anyway, I'll mind my manners. How are you this fine evening?"

I scoffed.

"What, no answers? Anyhow, I must say that you look great. In fact, you don't look a day older than when I last saw you."

Will she shut up already? I was tired of hearing that! And God, was I annoyed?

When I said, nothing, she continued, "I just complimented you, Rogue. I thought that would have thanked me or maybe returned one in exchange?"

When I merely glared at her, she grinned. Logan's grin. "I see you are in no mood to exchange pleasantries."

"Why haven't you killed me already?" I asked before I could stop myself. Really. We were fighting since ages. Now was the most appropriate moment to attack and here she was, trying to strike a conversation with me. I mean, she could have finished this off easily seeing that I was quite vulnerable right now. Hangover and all.

She smiled at me.

"Look, I'm too tired with your Brotherhood's games, okay? So will you tell me why you haven't already tried to knock me out?"

"Too eager to die or too foolish to live?" She asked, smiling. "See, your thinking about us is epically wrong. You look at us like as if we are some sort of villains."

"And you're saying that you're _not_ a villain?" I asked, amused.

But Mystique merely shook her head. "We never killed mutants now, did we?"

"Right," I scoffed. I bet half of the mutants on Earth are already lying in their graves because of them.

"Rogue, it's true. Not until mutants come in our way, we don't. We don't spill mutant blood. We even give them a fair chance to run away before a decent fight."

"Just tell me what you want then," I asked instead.

Mystique sighed. "Let's first get a little way away from your dog friend, back there so that we can have our little moment together. You already took forever to come out of that bar."

"What moment?" I asked looking back as if to see Logan running towards us. Which would have been odd seeing that Mystique in Logan's form still stood in front of me.

"Come on, Rogue," Mystique said still in her voice. Suddenly, she changed into Ethan. I gulped at the small form of the boy I had harmed from so long ago, but whose image was engraved into my mind. She continued in Ethan's voice now, "I'm just a kid, Rogue. Give me a break."

I almost gasped at that.

"How do you know?" I asked her, a bit angry this time. "It happened inside the mansion!"

"Oh we've got our eyes everywhere," she said, taking Jean's form now. "Won't you agree?"

"I–It was you?" I asked, blinking my eyes, my mouth hanging open.

"Was it so hard to guess?" She asked and Jean's face smiled at me.

It would have been a real fright for a human to see Mystique changing into another form. However, I wasn't expecting anyone to be around at this time of the night in this dark alley. I doubted if anybody would hear us shout for help if Mystique had mutants from the Brotherhood around.

"My work is immaculate, you see," Mystique said. "Right now, Logan is running after a teleporter, who'll disappear after taking Logan far enough from us."

I was feeling angrier by the second.

"It was Magneto, really. I was supposed to give you guys a glimpse until Logan was after me and then, the rest of the job was shared by the teleporter because I had to look into finer details of the plan."

"I'll kill you," I said, leaving Remy's support fully now and standing up straight.

"Well, I don't think that would be too easy for drunk and unstable Rogue," she said, giving me a lopsided smile. Logan looked weird with that smile on.

I frowned at her. Unstable? Was she describing herself? Remy started forward but I dragged him back, restraining him. I was somewhat thankful for his reaction. However, I had to get this straight first. Maybe, he could blow up Mystique after that.

If he would even agree to do that.

"And what exactly, may I ask, was your plan?" I said, glaring at her.

"To get you alone with me," she replied, returning to her own form now. She stepped towards me now and started circling Remy and me. Remy's hold on me tightened, seeing which Mystique smiled. "I didn't of course expect another mutant, other than Logan of course, to jump to your rescue. I wasn't even expecting Logan to leave you alone. I was just wishing it. Or rather, Magneto was wishing that."

It stung when she said that. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to remain calm.

_Anything stupid could lead to a disaster, Rogue_.

"Why?" I asked, "Why did you want me alone?" I was feeling more assured now because of Remy. The guy could freaking blow a building so Mystique was no big deal, I guess.

Only, I didn't think Mystique was alone.

"I wanted to talk to you," she said stopping in front of us, after completing a circle. I had a hunch that she was checking out Remy from behind while circling us. "On behalf of Magneto."

"You are on his side again?" I asked. "Doing his dirty works?"

She looked down then, not meeting my eyes. "Let's go somewhere private. Handsome Cajun boy can join too."

Then, she started walking swiftly across the street towards my car while both of us stood glued to the place.

"Come on," Mystique said, looking back, looking slightly irritated.

That's when Remy spoke up for the first time. "Remy will not join you. We talked about that before. The answer is still the same, chère."

Mystique turned around and smiled again. This time at Remy.

So… Remy knew Mystique? Strange.

And she had probably already talked to him to join Magneto's Brotherhood, as it appeared.

How many recruits did the Brotherhood _already_ have?

"Then maybe, you'll leave us alone," she said, walking towards us– no, Remy.

Remy smiled. "I don't think that would be possible."

"I don't think that _you_ understand the situation here," Mystique said, gritting her teeth.

She looked angry at Remy for some reason. Why? Because he declined to join the brotherhood?

"Well, whatever the situation might be, Remy is not leaving," Remy said, confidently.

Mystique sighed and in the very next moment, a small breeze blew, making me shiver again, in spite of Remy's jacket around me. I looked back up at Remy, who didn't even have his jacket and found his eyes fixed on Mystique.

And suddenly, I knew something was wrong.

"Remy?" I asked, looking up at him.

But Remy didn't answer, nor moved.

"Remy?" I said again, moving in front of him. I called him a couple more times, yet, his eyes didn't move and he stared at Mystique unblinking. I took out a hand from under the jacket, the one which was glove–less and I waved my hand in front of his eyes. Still, he remained unmoving.

I turned around and faced Mystique. I felt tired and dizzy and scared. Scared for Remy and me. Because now I was sure we weren't alone. Mystique couldn't have frozen Remy. She didn't have the ability to do it.

"What did you do to him?" I shouted at Mystique who was checking out her nails.

She looked up, as if bored. "Oh, nothing," she replied, "Now if you want him alive, start moving. He'll probably wake up again after I'm done with you."

"I'm not joining your Brotherhood if that's what you want to talk to me about."

"Just follow me Rogue. Or I'll have nothing better than to kill you."

Before I could stop myself, I found myself saying, "If you wanted to kill me, I think I would have been already dead. Or fighting you to death."

She smiled, coming closer a few steps. "You know what? I like that about you. You are practical. Nothing dreamy, nothing imaginary. You keep it straight."

I looked back at Remy, who still stood frozen. Would he keep standing like that while we talked? It didn't seem right.

Suddenly, Mystique slid past me, and very unembarrassedly, took out my keys from his front pockets and started towards the car, while I looked at him with my eyes wide open.

"He'll be fine," she said, irritated again. "Now, are you following me?"

I turned around, nodded discretely and followed Mystique towards my car.

Inside the car, she started the engine as I slid into the passenger seat and put on my seat belt. Immediately, the car shot forward.

After about two minutes of driving at about a hundred miles an hour, during which I clutched my seat bell like it was my lifeline, she came to an abrupt stop in another dark alley with a dead end. A couple shops were shut down and there was just a single street light at the far corner. There was no one around. Or so it seemed.

Slowly, I took out the other glove from my hand and prepared myself. I was ready to fight and take a few down if it came to it. I smiled. I wasn't dying that easily.

"So?" I asked, when she didn't say anything after a minute of silence. I was fully awake now. My head still hurt but I was awake enough to see Mystique smiling. The adrenaline rush had probably taken me out of my drunken haze because all I knew was that I had to save Remy and myself from this mess and my eyes wide open looking over at Mystique, trying to decipher the next part of her plan.

She turned to face me. "Honey, we are just going to talk. About your future."

I knew where this was going but I played along. "What about it?" I asked, wishing that I had tyenol somewhere here.

"Look," she said, turning to me. "Cajun boy let out part of the surprise but…"

"What?" I asked when she didn't say anything.

She smiled again, fully facing me now. "We both know that you are no longer a member of the X-Men team. I've been keeping an eye on you for a while now."

"Why?" I asked, hitting my head on the back seat. Anything to stop making it pain so much.

"Always thought you were valuable. And, we have an eye on X-Mansion. Always."

"Right," I said, this time with understanding. It made sense. The Brotherhood would always have an eye on us. Like we kept an eye on them. I just never thought about it the other way. I mean, I always thought that the X-Mansion was this safe place that nobody would ever dare come close to because of Professor.

I mean, Professor could look into the minds of people. Why didn't he know if we had a traitor amidst us?

Then again, Mystique had already infiltrated the place once. And she had messed up with me too, feigning to be Bobby and escaping everybody's eyes while doing so. So maybe all this wasn't really difficult.

Especially with someone mutant who could block mind control.

Jacob Lepkowski, I smiled. I knew something was wrong with that guy. His looks screamed that.

Suddenly, his face floated in front of my eyes. Beady black eyes that kept staring at you, face darker than the darkest chocolate you ever saw, black hair slicked back over a face with small nose and lips with sharp white teeth.

That guy could shield him mind and I knew Professor had a difficulty with him. He once gave his example in one of our class while explaining us about the limits of everyone's powers, in which case, he was explaining his inability to look into his mind and read his exact thoughts.

"So, what are you going to do ahead?" Mystique drew my attention back to her.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well you know. What are your plans for future?"

"If you've been keeping an eye on me for a while now, you would know that I'm perfectly happy the way I am. I think I'll stay that way for a while. A long while."

"Working at a bar, a meager salary to live by and putting up in a despicable apartment. Living in this hand to mouth condition – working each day for dinner that night. Eyeing that cute co-worker of yours, but still shying away. Is what you call being perfectly happy?"

"Shut up," I snapped. "You know nothing about me. Don't even attempt to understand my life. You'll have a hard time doing that. You don't know what it's like to be finally… free."

"I know, honey. Been there, done that. Doesn't serve the larger purpose in life."

"Which is?"

"Mutant rights," she answered. "You know about it and you saw it over the years. What they are capable of, what they think about us, what they want to do to us. Those humans think they are sitting on top of the food chain, doing whatever they want to whoever they want with nobody to interfere. You know how close we are to a war, how thin the line always is. Don't you want revenge? Don't you want your parents to know what you are capable of, after they ditched you? Left you all alone?"

"They never ditched me," I murmured. "I left."

"And what made you leave them? Were they too happy to know you were a mutant? Did they treat you the same way as before? Or did they think that you had a disease, waiting for some cure… praying for it to appear of nowhere. Did they treat you like the daughter you were before they found out or did they treat you with fear, anticipating your touch and scared of death by your hands?"

I looked at her, outraged. How could she–? I turned away from her. It wasn't that way. It wasn't.

But no matter what she said, it was that way. And I couldn't deny that.

"How was it like to have your parents afraid of you, to back away from you? How was it like to not receive a mother's love because of something they did? Wasn't that their genes that you inherited? What was your fault? Nothing. And still, they–"

"What the fuck, Mystique?" I said, looking at her, my temper rising. How could she say all those things after all these years? I was trying to forget it and she had to bring it all over again. Anyway, was she making random guesses or did she have an eye on me even then?

She fell quite looking over at me in an amused way.

"Join us, Rogue. We need you. You need us."

I looked back at her, my eyes scorching, my insides burning with anger. "Are you insane?" I scoffed. "I am in _no_ way joining you. I didn't fight you guys all these years, just to join you in the end. I know things happened to me and I know that those kinds of things are happening to everybody around the globe. I know that mutants are fighting for their survival. Professor Xavier is fighting, Hank is fighting, Senator Kelly is fighting. Everybody is. In their own small ways. But not you guys. You don't want Mutant Rights. You want the position humans hold now. You want to rule them while they slogger at your feet. You want them in our position, our place. You don't want equality, you want dominance."

"And you don't want it? You don't want to fight people who've hurt you, hurt your mutant friends? Don't you want revenge for every mutant who died because of the government initiated projects? Don't you remember Striker? He was a government official, a Commander of the army. People like him are everywhere, Rogue. You know it. And you saw what kind of projects he was funding. You know what happened to Logan because of it. He lost his life, his memories, everything. Mutants like Logan are everywhere. Suffering."

"I don't care about Logan," I snapped at her.

"No you don't. Not after what he did tonight. But this time try saying this again with your heart in it."

I glared at her, turning outside to look at the pavement beneath the tires of the car. "You see," she said behind me, "The worse part is that you know you're never going to get him."

I gulped, scowling at the pavement.

"You are after Logan, honey. Anyone can see that."

I looked at her, frowning. She was not bringing Logan into all this.

"Why are you bringing him up?" I asked. "You can leave now. I don't want anything to do with your Brotherhood. If I haven't made myself clear already?"

"No, let's talk. After all, we got this chance after so long."

Of course I remembered the first time she talked to be, in Bobby's form, instigating me against Professor and the Mansion.

Exactly what she was doing now.

"Mystique, no," I warned her.

"And you know why you are not going to get him?" She asked, smiling. No sneering. "Because he's not" – she squeezed her eyes, as if thinking for the right word, "…tamable. You know what I mean? Logan is wild. He's had the taste of it. He has lived the wild. I don't think you can get him that easily. What you have is Wolverine. You know that Logan doesn't really exist. And this Wolverine doesn't like ties. Not even the ties that bind him to this sweet kid, Marie."

"Shut up," I said, sitting back into my seat. "You know nothing. Just shut up."

"You think you love him and yeah, no doubt… maybe you did love him a while ago. But now, you hate him. You hate him, Rogue. He hit you today. Another reminder of the hurt he has caused you, the pain he gives you. You hate all those bloody goody-goody people. You hate being expected to do the good when everything bad happens around you. You hated Jean. You hated that she was so close to Logan, while you – you never could get behind the Wolverine. Even today, Logan chose _her_ over you. You were drunk, vulnerable. Just a sight of Jean, made him run after her in a kind of frenzy, leaving you _all alone_. He doesn't care if you're hurt. He doesn't care if you die. He doesn't give a _damn_."

My temper was rising with each word that Mystique said. My blood was boiling and I wanted to hit her. No, drain her life force out of her. And leave her to die here in this dark alley.

But God, she was right. Logan chose Jean over me. Each time. Every fucking time. I was alone like I always ad been.

"Logan doesn't care, honey. He's always been the one–night kind of guy, if you what I mean? But Jean was special, wasn't she? She could have held him, unlike you. She drew him towards her, in spite of that dead boyfriend of hers. Jean had something that you didn't. And you what that was? Jean was more" – here, she traced a hand down her cheek, smiling just the way Jean did, outside the glass doors of the bar– "…touchable."

I felt a tear glide down my face into my lap. She was right. Mystique was right. Logan never cared for me. I was untouchable. I was a kid. Jean was the woman he was always after. And…

He could touch her. While I had the poison skin. I was cursed. Why would anyone take broken goods when they had perfectly fine ones?

"Professor Xavier helped Jean," Mystique continued. "He helped her tame her power. He created a barrier around the Phoenix, preventing her from letting her powers out when she was a kid. She broke that barrier when she turned into the Phoenix again, couple years back. And you know what the biggest question is? Why didn't Professor help you… the same way?"

I looked down at my hands, my eyes widening as I realized the truth of that fact. When he explained us about what had happened to Jean, he had said something like that. He had told us how he had helped control Jean's enormous powers because she was capable of hurting others, because she couldn't control them herself.

Just like me.

Only, her powers probably had more destructive outcomes, but whatever. I was in the same situation all along. Why didn't Professor help me the same way?

But there must be a reason. I couldn't think about Professor like this. He wasn't partial. He was the same teacher to all of us. He was a just man. It was wrong to think about him that way. In my life, he symbolized everything that was right, that held meaning. If he was the wrong man, then…

My world would collapse.

No, there must be a reason. A reason to this. Professor wouldn't be impartial. He loved me like a teacher. He was the same to everybody.

Only why didn't he help me like he helped Jean?

I closed my eyes and relaxed my mind. It was wrong to think about Professor that way. He was the one person in my life who couldn't hurt me. He was the one thing I had supported myself against.

Logan left me, Bobby left me, Kitty betrayed me. Everybody did. But I knew Professor wouldn't. He wouldn't. If he would have been able to help me, he would have.

"Mystique, don't," I said, gulping my tears down. _It was wrong_, I repeated to myself. _Professor must have a reason_.

"You don't want to hear the truth, Rogue. Nobody loves you, honey. They all act. They all pretend to be your family. They lie, Rogue. Because the truth is… that you are a mutant not worthy of their noble work. They create. And you? You destroy. You are destructive."

"But I never did hurt anybody on purpose," I mumbled in my defense.

"They kept you inside the Mansion to keep an eye on you. They don't want you, they need you – to make sure that you don't turn against them, because that… that would be lethal. They couldn't afford that now, could they? And when they couldn't keep you any longer and you fled away, they sent Logan after you. They knew Logan would bring you back. Because Logan, honey, is your one weakness. Your Achilles' heel. You have a soft spot for him…while he–"

"Shut up, Mystique," I said in a warning tone.

"While he," Mystique went on uninterrupted, her smile turning sour, "He never cared for you."

"Leave me alone!" I said, feeling like I would bawl my eyes out if Mystique continued any longer. And she was right. That's what hurt the most.

Why didn't Professor help me, like he helped Jean?

Why didn't Logan help me, when I was drunk? Mystique was right. I was vulnerable. I was weak. Logan left me at the time I needed him the most. He always did that. He kept on pestering and badgering me when I didn't want him and he left me when I needed him.

"Join us. Join the brotherhood," Mystique said, looking me in the eye. "We'll make your dreams come true. We'll find a way. Magneto, you know, is just as powerful as your Professor. We'll help you. You'd be able to touch again. That's what you want, right? To be able to touch?"

"Please, shut up," I said, again, speaking through a constricted throat taking support against the dashboard, my head down, looking at my boots.

"It's what you want Rogue. We can give it to you. Magneto will help you. He wants you among us. You'll make a great team with us."

God, why wouldn't she shut up and leave me alone? I didn't need her to realize how pathetic my life is. I knew that already. I didn't need her to say that over and over again like some sort of mantra!

"You and me… We are connected," Mystique said, keeping a hand on my shoulder now. "I feel… I feel that you need me. I wouldn't confess, but Magneto has helped in ways I couldn't imagine. You can find the same thing in him."

"No," I answered, my eyes fixed on my boots.

"No?" She asked, somewhere above me, as if confused.

"No," I replied, looking up again, suddenly finding a way to answer her back. "What are you to him Mystique?" I asked her.

She looked confused.

"To Magneto?" I explained. "You know what you are to him? You are just his favorite pawn."

"What?" Mystiques asked, amused.

"Magneto left you when you needed him the most too."

Mystique's amusement turned into a glower as I continued, "He left you just like Logan left me. You are right. Maybe I'll never get him. And what if he even agrees to be with me? I'm cursed. It's not like we'd ever have a real relationship. And so… maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Maybe we both were never meant to be. But what about you? I heard you took the cure's shot to save Magneto getting hit?"

Mystique merely glared at me in response. Glare with contempt and anger and… pain. Suddenly, I realized that I felt the very same.

"He doesn't love you, Mystique. He only wants you to do his field work. He plays you all and stays behind the curtain himself. He directs you, never letting anything touch him. You think he loves you? Because let me tell you something, sugar, he's only using you."

"No," Mystique said, "He came for me."

My eyes softened. She was just like me. "Only after the cure failed, isn't it? Did he even remember you once, while you were human?"

Mystique looked beyond my shoulder, outside the window. Her smile was long gone and I could only see pain, sadness and hurt on her face.

"You are only disillusioning yourself," I told her, seeing myself in her. It was as if I was telling myself all this. "People like us are just puppets. People like Magneto play us. He just wants you to work for him. He has no affection for you. Just like Logan. He was with me until he needed me. I comforted him. Helped him Jean wasn't there. When he broke down after her death. But," I smiled, "All I got in return was betrayal."

She looked at me, her eyes unfocused.

"Magneto…" She said, as if lost in a trance.

"He used you. And he's still using you. Just to get his work done. He doesn't want you. Doesn't love you."

She looked at me, as if defeated. "You don't need to do this. You know it. Go to the X-mansion. The professor will take you with open arms. He'll help you and you'll find a man in him worth your trust. He'll–"

Suddenly, the car started moving very fast, making me stop mid-sentence. And then, it moved with so much speed, banging right into an electric pole on my side.

I screamed, horrified, as I hit the car's door and Mystique toppled over me.

"He heard you!" Mystique cried, sitting up straighter, looking at me.

"W–what?" I asked, trying to gain my balance.

"He has mutants who were keeping an eye on us!"

"Out, Mystique!" I heard Magneto's voice boom around us.

Mystique obliged, getting out in one swift motion. Before I even realized what was happening, the car moved again and banged into a wall, sliding along it so that it crashed into the wall, while it kept on speeding ahead.

I saw sparks flying everywhere as the metal screeched against the brick wall. I panicked, trying to get out of the way, but it was to no avail. I was stuck with the seat belt strapped on. I tried holding on to the car's gear stick and dashboard as the car reversed again, having reached the dead end.

I looked around. Magneto. The car was all metal. Of course he could control it. I had to get out.

I looked at my seat belt and tried unbuckling it, working quickly. But my hand shook and the buckle was tight. Even after my repeated attempts, it just wouldn't come off.

"Fuck," I cursed. "Come on, move!"

Shit, I suddenly realized. He had the buckle too. It was metal.

"It's not so easy, Rogue," I heard Magneto's voice again. "You tried to mess with Mystique's head. But I'll give you _one_ last chance. Join us now and you will live."

I looked around, trying to find something to cut the seat belt's material off. I couldn't see Magneto but his voice was enough to scare me. I looked at the glove compartment. Then, opening it quickly, I tried searching for something, anything. But I couldn't find anything sharp in it. I banged the glove compartment right back, angrily, so that it swung open again.

Next, cursing loudly, I tried looking for the tool box. Shit, it should be here somewhere!

But before I could even decide where to look for it, the car changed its direction, moving ahead with full speed again. I was juddered violently as the car hit the wall again.

I clutched at my seat belt and the dashboard again, feeling the car move this side and that. It was moving as if it had lost all control, shaking all over the place fiercely. I was banged into the car door again and again, so that the whole of my side hurt badly.

"Join us!" Magneto shouted, angrily.

"No!" I screamed back. "I'm not with anyone. I'm not even working with Professor Xavier. I'm not with you. Leave me alone!"

"Leave her alone," I heard Mystique repeat my words, "She doesn't want in."

"Oh," Magneto said, "She's got to you, has she?"

"Leave her, Magneto. Let her go." I heard moment later, she added, "Let _both_ of us go."

I heard Magneto's deadly chuckle. "You're leaving?"

"Yes," she said. "I'll go with her. She's right. You left me and only came after me when I was Mystique again. I want out."

Magneto's laugh died mid-way. "Don't you realize? There is no way out."

A second later, I heard again, "Finish her off! She's got to my best fighter."

I sighed in defeat. God, if I was being killed strapped like this, I was sure I would be able to do nothing. I considered shouting for help, but if nobody heard the car screeching, it was a wonder anybody would hear me scream for help.

Before I could think of any other strategy to save myself, a couple hands abruptly pulled me out of the car. The belt slid off easily this time and in another second, I was thrown onto the wall that the car had banged into. I slid down it, the whole of my back-side stinging badly.

I shut my eyes hard, reeling from the shock of the pain. Shit, I felt numb all over and my head hurt like hell. But the good thing was that I wasn't dying in the car. My attacker was in front of me. I clutched my head, trying to make it stop whirling around and tried focusing in front of me.

I was sure, some part of my assailant would be bare. I smiled. _Bare enough to touch._

I heard Mystique shriek. "You said no mutant blood!"

"That was before she corrupted you. You were at your best until tonight, Mystique. You failed in your task first time today." I heard his voice fading, "Such a shame. I wouldn't have expected this from you."

I looked around, trying to see Mystique. But the only thing I could see was the dead end of the road and the car next to me. Before I even knew, my shoulders were clutched roughly and I was pulled up along the wall. I shouted as pain shot up all my body, my back side scratching against the rough wall. I opened my eyes to see a sneering face.

"Juggernaut," the huge man growled – his face smiling, sweaty and extremely close to mine. "Remember me in afterlife."

I looked at him, breathing heavily. Without a moment's ado, he crashed hard into me.

All breath knocked out of me, as I realized that I had probably heard my bones crack. My mouth fell open and I realized that I was shrieking. Wildly and uncontrollably. I gulped, trying to breathe. But I couldn't. I couldn't breathe.

Panic.

That's what I felt. I knew I was going to die. Shit, there was so much left to do. I wanted to see my parents once before I died – my Mom, my Dad. I wanted to see my hometown again. I wanted to visit my vacation home. Even after all that happened. I wanted to see them. One last time.

All was lost. I was going to die.

I felt darkness tugging around the corner of my eyes, but I tried to stay awake as I fumbled, trying to find bare skin on my attacker's body. I had to get him. God, if I was dying, this Juggernaut person was dying with me.

The last thing I knew was that I smiled as I felt my attacker's body convulse on my touch. A couple of seconds later, I knew it was too late for him. He became still in a moment more and I felt his thoughts swarming inside my head.

_A woman's shriek, a boy's laugh echoed and I saw a sweet face of a kid, then people, chains, shrieks…_

I lay down, feeling my head ache now more than ever. But I couldn't move. And my body hurt. My ribs, my arms, my hands, my legs…

Everything hurt.

_End this_, I wished. _Please end the pain._

Then, he was pushed away from me and I felt softer hands, kinder hands. I heard Mystique's desperate cries as she urged me to stay awake.

But it was too much. I smiled at her, telling that it was okay.

Death would end this pain. It hurt too much.

She tried turning my face to her, but her body quivered when she touched me, making her draw her hand away because of my powers. I heard her curse, but her voice was becoming faint with each passing second. Yet, she never quitted trying to touch me.

I tried to slap her hand away but my hands wouldn't move, wouldn't follow my orders.

Suddenly, I saw Logan and he was holding me in his arms. I couldn't help but not touch him. I couldn't move and he was holding me. His shirt came off and I was all but fallen over him.

I saw faint scratches appear on his chest and immediately I felt better. The pain began subsiding and I felt Logan's thoughts whirl around in my head.

Running after Jean, a dead body, no pulse, and me… lying unconscious…

I heard a low growl and realized it was Logan's. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to live. I wanted to tell him to get off me and let me die. But I couldn't.

So, I did what I could do then. I wished really hard for one last time. I wished for the mutation to stop working. Mystique touched me again, telling me to try and stay awake. I smiled as her body didn't quiver this time as she touched me. Logan was telling me to stop doing something. I didn't know what and it was too hard to make any meaning of it now. Remy, who was standing behind Logan, was calling my name.

My eyes felt heavy now and I accepted the darkness without any resistance.

The last thing I saw was faces – Mom's, Dad's, Logan's, Jubilee's, Remy's, Professor's, Storm's, Scott's. Even Jean's.

Then, everything fell black.

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><p><em>Do review! I really like this chapter and reviews would be great. Thanks. :)<em>


	6. One Debt Paid

_So, the next chapter is here. This chapter is more of a building one. It kind of links stuff. The next chapter will be longer and exciting, I promise._

_Thanks for all the reviews! Please keep them coming..._

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><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

**One Debt Paid**

I opened my eyes, blinking a couple of times. They felt like lead. I wanted to shut them and fall back to sleep again, but I felt that I already had slept much. Plus, my back ached. Sometimes, when I over-slept, I used to get these back-aches. It was one of those.

I yawned deeply, stretching my arms, looking around. Gosh, everything was so clean and white.

Maybe I was dead.

Was it… heaven?

But then, why did heaven have this weird hospital-like smell — a smell which I detested and feared. Plus, I heard machines beeping and buzzing all around me.

Shit, I was in a hospital.

I looked around, taking in everything. There was a door close to my feet and I was lying in a clean white bed. A window in the left wall showed a corridor by which several nurses, doctors and patients were passing.

I looked at the tall IV stand near me. I was being given some transparent liquid, probably glucose, I think.

I tried remembering something that would tell me what was I doing in a hospital.

Nothing.

God, had I lost my memory or something?

The last thing I remember. What was the last thing that I did?

Nothing.

Blank.

Shit, why don't I remember anything?

God, I was panicking. Panic isn't good. Relax. Just relax.

Maybe I should start from the beginning.

Okay, my name. I'm Marie D'Ancanto.

I like to be called Rogue, as a mutant.

Oh, yes, I'm a mutant. And I left my home because of it. I found Logan. And then, the X-Mansion. There was Professor Xavier, Storm, Jubilee, Kitty, Bobby. I smiled. I remembered things.

No, my memory was perfectly fine.

I couldn't really remember the reason I was at the hospital though.

Maybe going forward helped. Magneto. I fingered the white streaks of my hair at the memory. The Alkali Lake. Stryker. The fight. Jean, dying — no, sacrificing her life to save us. Then, the cure. I gulped. I took it.

And it failed.

Bobby and Kitty — they were a couple now. I breathed deeply. It was for the best. Bobby and I were never meant to be. He wasn't the right guy for me anyway.

Logan was the right guy. I sighed. Shut up, Rogue. Logan doesn't love you. He just thinks you are some kid that he saved. Some kind of an act of compassion.

Because he loved Jean.

Jean — The Phoenix. Then, Logan left me. He didn't love me. People who love you don't leave you alone.

Then, there was The Billy's. Remy. Logan coming back and the way he ditched me.

All over again.

Then, it struck me. Of course! I got hit by Juggernaut! Magneto tried to kill me!

But I should probably be very badly hurt. That Juggernaut person did hit me, right? I mean, I heard crunching of bones. I felt numb and pain all over.

That information made me check around, looking at myself. Shit, I felt well in intact. Why was I at a hospital then?

And not even at the infirmary in the X-Mansion but here in an ordinary human hospital. I mean, there were ordinary people passing by that window. Or at least they seemed ordinary. But I never really heard of a mutant hospital. This should obviously be an ordinary one.

And if it was, then how come the normal doctors touched me in order to cure me? Really, I couldn't get anything.

I moved my hands around a bit. Next, I checked my legs. Were they hurt? Slowly, I raised my right leg up to see it, moving my toes. They felt fine. The other leg. Well, I looked fine. Really. What was I doing in a hospital then?

My face, damn! I forgot my face! And my head! Maybe I had sustained a very bad head or face injury.

I raised my hand to my face, feeling everything, which looked fine. Then, I touched my head.

Nope. No bandage what-so-ever.

Yet, I was tied with glucose and all the beeping machines.

Then, I realized.

Logan.

Maybe, I had touched Logan and absorbed his healing. Maybe, I was already fine now.

Only, where was everybody? Logan, Remy, Mystique?

Not that I wanted to see Logan after he did so much to me. But where was he?

And what was I doing in a normal human hospital? Did they already know I was a mutant, then?

I looked around, still finding nobody.

I stayed in my bed for what felt like an eternity, before a nurse, finally, came in.

"Oh my God, you are awake!" She said, smiling. No, laughing.

Yes, the nurse was already sick of me being her patient. No wonder she was so happy that I was leaving.

But the more important question was that that did she know I was a mutant? Or was she a mutant too?

God, all these questions would kill me.

"Hi," I said smiling. "Um, yes, I'm leaving. Yay."

"What?" She asked, coming to me, checking the buzzing machines. "What are you talking about?"

"What are you smiling for? I mean, am I such a pain in the ass?" She still looked confused, so I explained further, "Are you happy that I'm leaving?"

"No, seriously, no. I'm happy that you are awake at last!"

"How long have I been out?" I asked, smiling. A day? A couple of days maybe. Seriously, she looked really glad.

She consulted her clipboard, turning all serious and then looked back at me. "Three months and four days."

My mouth fell open as I stared at the nurse. "Okay, what?"

She moved towards me, suddenly dropping a hand on my forehead.

I almost shrieked at the unexpected touch.

"What?" She said, confused and worried.

"You can touch me," I muttered, looking up at her. Was it her power then? She could touch the cursed ones like me?

She heard me nevertheless. "I was checking your body temperature. But I think you are in shock. Why won't I be able to touch you?"

Really, what was happening? What was I doing at a normal hospital, with a nurse, who was probably a mutant but was pretending that she knew nothing?

Or, maybe she was a human and I could…

I could touch.

No, that was ridiculous. How could I touch? Never once in my life, after the mutation was triggered could I touch, except for the short duration for which the cure lasted. No. I couldn't really be normal.

Or could I?

The nurse was a mutant capable of touching me was a rather reasonable justification.

But I hoped it was the former nonetheless. That I could… touch.

"Really, it's been long," The nurse continued. I looked at her, taking in her details. She had pale white skin and full lips and looked pretty in her uniform. "But you are finally awake. I'll tell the doctor and inform your family."

My family?

Right.

"Wait," I said, stopping her. I had to get this right. "What happened to me?"

How much did she actually know? I had to know that at least.

"You were in… coma."

I nodded my head. "Oka… y," I said, taking it in, "But happened to me? Why did I go into coma?"

The nurse gave me a tight smile, "Head trauma. You had practically no injuries at all. But you were still in coma. Your friend — he said you fell down the stairs."

"Whoa," I said, recalling nothing as such.

Was it a cover?

But why didn't I have any injuries? It was probably Logan. He probably made me touch him so that I healed.

"Which friend?"

"A guy named Logan. He left in the morning, a couple hours ago. If only he knew you were to wake up today, I don't think he would have left your side. But he was really tired, you see. Pretty loyal friend you've got there. Came here everyday. The whole of these three months and four days."

"Oh," I said, gulping. God, all this was too much to take, really.

"And… I am fine now?" I asked, just as she reached the door.

"Absolutely!" She said, beaming. "You had totally no injury to begin with. We may conduct a few tests, but I think you'll be allowed to leave today. Or tomorrow at most."

I nodded, still reeling from the shock from the fact that I was in coma for three months now.

"And did I have any visitors?" I asked, imagining Jubilee, sitting with a still me, wearing a sad face. "Apart from Logan, I mean?"

"Oh, many!" She said. "A whole lot of them, actually."

I nodded.

"Any more questions?" She asked, smiling, still on the door.

"Yeah," I said. "What's your name?"

"Deborah," she said. "But you can call me Debbie."

I smiled. "Have you been taking care of me all the while?" I asked.

"Yes," she nodded her head.

"Thanks, Debbie."

"Well, it's my duty," she replied, glowing.

I nodded, and then, she left me staring at the ceiling wondering what was I doing here? Because really, there was nothing that actually made sense.

Still.

And I was really starting to worry now.

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><p>I didn't know when I dozed off to sleep. But when I woke up, I saw the same hospital around me again.<p>

I looked around to find Logan sleeping on a chair, his head on my bed. The next thing I knew, I heard Remy's voice.

"God, you really are awake!" Remy cried, startling Logan. He got up immediately, looking at me. Our eyes met and I saw Logan smile.

"How are you darlin'?" Logan asked, his hand reaching for my face. He touched my cheek, caressing my skin.

Yes, he could touch me too. I licked my lips, thinking of a possible reaction to Logan. I really could think of nothing. "I'm fine," I said, curtly, dropping Logan's hand away from my cheek. "How can you touch me?" I asked, in a firm voice.

Logan nodded, "The Professor is on his way. We'll get to the bottom of it."

I nodded. "I was knocked out for so… long."

"Really, chère!" Remy said, still laughing. I think he was going hysterical. "And with no valid reason at all! I mean, you were perfectly healed."

"Whoa, you really are awake," I heard Mystique's voice. Only, the woman standing leaning against the door frame wasn't Mystique.

I mean it was her. Only she looked… different. I mean, her skin was pale white and here eyes were a bright shade of topaz. And she wore clothes — a pale pink shirt and blue pants. "How are you honey?"

"I'm fine. And… you look different," I commented.

She nodded. "You can't expect me to come looking like I usually do."

"Of course," I said. "This is… the real you?" I asked, nodding to her.

"Well, yes. I looked like this before the mutation was triggered."

"You were beautiful," I said, smiling. "You are beautiful."

I saw Mystique gulp and she crossed the distance from the door swiftly, sitting down beside me, clutching my hand. I gasped, but she didn't mind. "I'm sorry for what happened, Rogue. I really am."

I nodded. "I know." A moment later, Mystique dropped my hand and took her position by the door again. Then, I asked, remembering, "Anyway, what happened to Juggernaut?"

"You killed him," Mystique replied, smiling. "I thought you had it in you. Always did tell Eric the same thing. You had it in you."

"I…" I asked, in a hesitant voice, "I did?"

"Yes," she said, "It's a wonder you don't remember — since you were supposed to absorb his memories along with his power. But then again, it's been three months since."

I pondered along her thought. I had no memory of Juggernaut. Except that his name…

"Cain Marko," I said. "It was his name. I still have bits of his memory."

She smiled in a wicked way. "Eric would have been furious. You got one of his best soldiers."

"Two of his best soldiers," Logan supplied.

Mystique smiled at him, then at me.

"And you did as I suggested?" I asked her.

"Yes. Actually, I did," she replied, giving me a tight smile.

"And did Professor do as I expected?"

"Mostly," she replied.

"And… what am I doing here?" I asked, looking at her. "I mean, why am I at normal hospital? And… how could that nurse… Debbie… touch me? How could you and" —I looked at Logan— "Logan, touch me?"

"We have enough time for that," Logan answered instead of the Mystique, "Right now, you have visitors."

"Visitors?" I asked, confused, as suddenly, I heard a lot of noise outside my room. Excited noise. Mystique smiled at me and left us alone, as I looked at the door expectantly.

Next, I heard a startling shriek, "Hey Roguey!"

I groaned as a storm hit me. Really it was Jubilee but it felt like a storm. "It took you so bloody long!" She cried.

I laughed. "But I am back, see?"

She gave way to others then, who hugged me just like Jubilee.

"Good to see you're back," Storm said, hugging me. "We missed you."

"And I missed you," I replied.

"Rogue," Warren hugged me, followed by others — Hank, Kurt and even Kitty.

And then, there were greetings from Bobby.

I smiled at everybody as finally, Professor Xavier stepped ahead.

I looked at Mystique, who smiled at me guiltily again and then back at Professor Xavier, as I greeted him kindly. I remembered what she had said about Professor. I remembered it too well, actually.

Professor Xavier gave me a knowing smile, as if he did know what I was thinking about. Maybe he could answer me? I mean, he knew everything that there was to know about mutants. At least for me. He was the man with most knowledge about mutants.

Before I could ask though, he answered himself. "We intend to resolve all your queries. And mine too."

He could read my thoughts. It was a little… weird. I really preferred that he did not know what all went through my mind, really. But then, it was what he did. He read thoughts. I couldn't exactly ask him to not to do that.

"Yes, you can," Professor Xavier replied. "I grant privacy to everyone who asks for it. Or feels the need to have it."

"Thanks, Professor," I smiled.

And then, it suddenly struck me, "Oh, I'm sorry about the car that I took. I think it must be in a bad condition. But I promise, I'll pay—"

"But you already have, Rogue," Professor said, smiling.

"I have?" I asked, doubtfully.

He nodded. "You brought Mystique to us."

"Oh," I said, gulping. "But—"

"It is enough. More than enough, actually. Your debt is paid."

I smiled, as Jubilee crashed into my bed. "Really Rogue," Jubilee said, "Time for some answers now. I have been meaning to get them. Why did you leave us all? We are a family, right?"

I smiled. I never really told Jubilee all that. Sure we talked even when I left. But I never really gave her the details. "Jubes, I uh…"

"Jubilee, I think we really should let Rogue have some rest now," Professor cut me, giving me a meaningful eye.

Jubilee smiled. "Yeah. Of course Professor. After all, Rogue gets discharged tomorrow. She would be coming back, right Rogue?"

I looked from Jubilee to Professor and then, back at Storm. "Uh, I…"

Jubilee's smile disappeared. This time, she repeated in a strong voice with a hint of anger and disappointment, "You're coming back, right Rogue?"

"Jubes, I'm not promising anything to you. I don't want to build false hopes."

"But Rogue, you can't leave us all over again! How can you even think about—"

"Jubilee, I think we should leave Rogue alone now," Storm interrupted. "It's really Rogue's decision and we should accept whatever she chooses. Although, of course, we'd all like her to come back."

I smiled at Storm gratefully.

"But Storm," Jubilee turned to her, "Rogue just can't—"

"Jubilee, let Rogue make her own decision," Kitty interrupted. "But Rogue," She turned to me, "Really. We all want you to come back."

"Whatever happened," Bobby continued, "Has happened. It's past. So, don't let it decide whatever you do decide."

I nodded, smiling again.

"I think we should leave now," Storm said, nodding at me and ushering everybody out. "Rogue should really have her rest."

"Rogue? Can we have a word?" Bobby said to me, suddenly, nodding at Kitty.

"What? I, um, yeah. Of course."

I knew what he would ask and really, I was more than happy to give it now. Logan gave me a look and then left me alone with Bobby and Kitty.

"Look," Bobby began, "I know that you have a right to be angry. And you're right to be feeling so too. But I feel I must say this. If you are hesitating to return to the Mansion because of us, then—"

"Bobby," I said, interrupting him, "It's not because of you guys. Really. And uh… I think, its time that we get past this. All this break-up and make-up drama. I think it's been stretched too long now. If you guys want to be together, I have no objection. Really. You guys actually look very cute together."

"Really?" Kitty squeaked.

I nodded and smiled at her excitement about it.

She hugged me. "Rogue, I'm really sorry about what happened. Please return to the Mansion. We miss you."

"Kitty, I said it before and I'll say it now. I'm not making any false promises."

Kitty nodded, standing up straight. She muttered a quick 'Get well soon', as did Bobby.

Then, they both left me, a smile on their faces.

I only got a moment alone though. Remy came in next, followed by Mystique, Logan and Professor.

Then, Professor looked at us all, one by one. "Although, I have much of the story," He said, in his soothing voice, "I guess we should all hear it once more."

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><p><em>How was it? Review and tell me. :)<em>


	7. A Mere Kid

_I liked the response in the last chapter! Thanks for reviweing guys! Most of your questions will be answered in this chapter, you just need to read on. This chapter is another long one and has a lot of stuff in it. It even has Mystique's point of view._

_I must warn you that this one is a quick update. I may not be as quick in my next updates._

**Individual responses:**

Jasmett: For your questions, read this chapter. And she did have Cain's powers but its already been 3 months so they've worn off. And yes, she's definitely mad at Logan. But since its been 3 months, its kind of rubbed off a bit. But only a bit. Otherwise, she's very mad with him.

Thanks to Beater101, Sue Doe Nyhm, Mahwash, tanya2byour21, LadyLady1994, Dream of the Night and WestAnimeBrigade. You guys made my day! :

_This is it and now, you may continue to read the chapter. I'll make the corrections in the previous chapters too. Hope you didn't get irritated with the corrections._

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

**A mere kid**

"I ran after whom I presumed to be Jean," Logan said, looking at Mystique, "Who was in fact Mystique. But I thought it was her. Soon, I lost her track somewhere along the alley. It was as if she just… disappeared."

"Teleporter," Mystique said, smiling, "Erik plans well. I was supposed to give you guys a glimpse. The teleporter was all dressed like me. She started running when you were close behind her."

"But the thing is… I smelled her. I smelled Jean."

That put frowns on everybody's faces.

"That couldn't be… planned," Mystique said slowly. "Only I can do that."

Professor raised an eye–brow.

"When I take the form of somebody else," Mystique explained. "I take up their whole personality – their smell, their voice, the way they walk and carry themselves."

"That's clean," I put in.

Mystique looked at me, then back at Logan. "Maybe you were… confused?"

"No," Logan replied confidently, looking at Professor. "It was her smell."

"We'll get back at this," Professor said in his calming voice. "What happened next?"

"Remy followed Rogue and Logan," Remy continued. "She was in the bar, all drunk and unconscious. He left her like that."

Everybody looked at Logan, while I stared at my feet. I didn't even want to see his face after being reminded how much I mattered to him.

Mystique's hand suddenly covered mine and she squeezed it. I looked at her, a bit grateful. She smiled at me and turned back to glare at Logan.

"We walked to her car when Mystique came."

All of us looked at Mystique who was looking at Professor. Professor nodded at her once and she spoke up next. "I was supposed to convince them to join the Brotherhood. I had talked to Remy before as well and he refused straight–away. Erik, he made someone freeze him. I took Rogue a little way away so that Logan and Remy wouldn't be able to find us. I tried a lot. But she wouldn't budge. Instead, Rogue persuaded me to _leave_ the Brotherhood."

They all looked at me while I continued to look at Mystique, self–consciously.

"When Erik thought that Rogue was having an effect on me, he attacked us in the car. I got out in time. Erik ordered me to. But Rogue got stuck in there. After that Erik sicked Juggernaut on her. He banged into her. And well, he was quite… gigantic."

Logan looked at me and then, continued, "The place where Jean disappeared… I found a body there. A woman who was dressed up like Jean. Like the one I was following. Only, she had just disappeared in front of me. I checked for pulse but I couldn't find it. Neither could I tell how she died. She just did."

"I was never told about it!" Mystique exclaimed.

"She was the teleporter," Professor told us. "She was brought to the Mansion and later, buried there."

"So," I whispered. "You mean… the one who was to pose as the teleporter was dead already. So who was _he_ following?"

I didn't say Logan's name and I knew everybody noticed that.

"We don't know," Professor replied.

"What if… what if it was the real Jean?"

"That isn't possible," Mystique replied. "She's dead. Her body has been buried at the Mansion."

I shook my head. "And what's the other explanation?"

Everybody silenced for a moment while I was thinking about it. What is Jean was alive? What if Jean killed that teleporter? But how could she be alive? She was dead. Buried in front of my eyes. Or was she?

I looked up at Professor. "What if Jean was never buried? What if her body is not at the Mansion lying where it should be?"

"How is that possible, Rogue?" Mystique countered me.

"I don't know. Maybe… maybe we should check."

"Check what?" Logan suddenly stood up. "You can't dig her grave up!"

I glared at Logan while he glared back at me. Right. How was he the one acting angry here?

"He's right Rogue," Professor supplied. "We can't dig her grave up. That would be… intrusion upon the dead. I cannot allow that."

I gulped, feeling angry and annoyed. What if her body wasn't there? Nobody understood that!

"Logan, calm down. Tell us what happened next."

Logan sat back into the seat he had occupied earlier. "I came back and didn't find Rogue there." I was slightly grateful he didn't say my real name in front of anybody. But my anger didn't let me acknowledge it much. "I thought that maybe she went back home with Remy. So, I went back to her apartment. But I couldn't find her there. I checked Remy's apartment. But even Remy wasn't there. I went back to the place she worked with Remy. Both of them weren't there. I came back to the bar I left her at and looked around the place. And suddenly, I smelled him. I smelled Remy. Remy was looking around like I was and told me how Mystique had taken Rogue. Then, we searched for her together and found her with Mystique bent over her. Rogue was almost loosing her consciousness. I took advantage of Rogue's powers and touched her. She healed much enough, but suddenly, she stopped absorbing."

I looked up and saw Logan looking at Mystique expectantly.

"After Rogue lost her consciousness," Mystique said, looking at Logan, Professor and me in turn, "I found that I could touch you. You seemed all fine but you had lost your consciousness and wouldn't wake up. Logan called Professor and told him how we were able to touch you. Professor told us to take you to the nearest hospital."

"If I was all healed, how did I land up in this hospital with a coma then?" I asked, looking at both of them.

"Logan did heal everything, but he couldn't get you to wake up," Professor answered. "The doctors told us you were in coma. You see, coma is a mental condition, not an injury or a fracture that could be healed."

"Oh," I said, looking at my hands. This was so messed up.

"How Logan could touch Rogue is what I'd like to know," Professor asked, thumbing his chin.

Suddenly, it struck me. "Oh," I said, in sudden enlightenment. Everybody looked at me expectantly. "Before I fell unconscious," I explained. "Mystique was urging me to stay awake. Each time she touched me, she backed. And then, _he _was trying to heal me while suffering. Because of my skin. But they wouldn't stop. I got a little irritated and wished really hard for my mutation to turn off. So that they wouldn't harm themselves because of me. I was already beginning to have their memories – flashes." I turned to Professor. "And suddenly it stopped. My mutation stopped. But that isn't possible. I've wished so, so many times. I prayed, I cursed, I tried everything I could. Everything that was in power my power. But it never worked. How could it have worked then?"

"Maybe because you were trying to protect someone? Maybe because you didn't want to hurt anyone?" Professor tried.

"But I always did wish I would stop hurting everyone. Even with Ethan. But it never really worked."

Professor sighed. "Maybe, this time, the feeling was really strong. Maybe… " Suddenly, he turned to face me, a knowing look on his face. "Rogue, what were you thinking before it turned off?"

"What? I… "

"What was it?"

"I… " I looked down at my feet again and said it real fast. "I was wishing death for me. To end the pain. It was too much. And then, when Logan tried to heal me, I could feel how much pain he was going through. And so I wished it would stop. I wished for death."

Everyone fell silent.

"How could you?" Remy asked, a look of hurt on his face.

"I thought it was over anyway," I whispered. I gulped and looked at Logan who was eyeing me with disbelief evident in his eyes. He looked at me as if I had betrayed him.

What? _I_ was the one who was betrayed!

"Rogue," Professor suddenly said, "I don't know what to say. Maybe that was it. Maybe it worked as a sort of death wish. Maybe your body accepted your decision that day."

"You mean… I can control it now?"

"I can't tell that."

"You mean it can return?"

"Rogue," Professor said, smiling with what seemed like sympathy, "It would return. Maybe you've turned if off for the moment, but I'm sure it will return back."

I gulped, looking at Professor. "It will?" I asked, again, just to make sure I had heard it correctly.

In answer, he nodded. "It's in your genes, child."

Of course it was to remain. It wasn't as if it was an injury that could heal. It was in my genes.

I had that fucking mutant gene.

"Though, maybe this incident could be the one which may grant you complete control over your power. What if you try to bring it back again and––"

"No," I said, resolutely, "I would do nothing to bring it back. If it stays away, even for a while, I'd better have it that way."

"But Rogue," Mystique said, "What if you could control it?"

I smiled weakly. "What if I cannot control it? What if it comes back to haunt me for the rest of my life? Well, as it has to come back, I'd better have the peace of not having it for a while. However short that while may be."

Professor smiled. "It's your decision to make. If you decide not to try, then, it's your wish."

I looked down at my hands, chewing on my lip.

"Is there _anything_ else that you wanted to ask Rogue?" Professor asked looking meaningfully at me.

I gulped and shook my head. "No," I said, in spite of everything that I wanted to ask from him. In spite of the fact that he could help me like he had helped Jean. I couldn't ask him, nor blame him.

"I think," He said, "that you should have a little rest now. Good night, Rogue." Then, he turned to Logan. "Logan, can I have a word?"

I smiled in return and nodded at him as he left with Mystique and Remy. Logan nodded and got up, leaving me alone. I had nothing more to think and I looked past the window looking at the people passing by.

A couple minutes later he was back and the frown on his face was replaced by a smile. Did Professor tell him to not be his usual assy–self around me?

"Aren't you going to leave?" I asked Logan, looking at my hands all the while.

"Any doubt?" He asked.

I sighed, looking up at him. "So you're staying?"

He nodded, smiling a bit and sitting on the chair right beside me. "You know me well."

"No," I said, shaking my head. "Actually, I don't."

"What are you implyin'?" He asked, quirking an eye-brow.

"Logan, I am implying that I don't know what you do, what you decide, what you think – it's all beyond me. I don't know what to expect from you and I don't know what to make of you coming here to me – after you've done everything you wanted to do, after you've done everything that your instincts told you to do. As I said, I don't know you anymore."

"I'm sorry for what happened," he said, taking my hand, "I'm sorry. It all happened because of me."

"Don't you see Logan?" I asked, my temper suddenly flaring. I took my hand off his grip. "The world doesn't revolve around you. It's not your fault. It's my fault. I drank at that bar and I lost my consciousness. It's not your fault at all. Instead, you stopped me from drinking anymore."

Yes, it wasn't his fault that I had fallen for him. He loved Jean. He went after his love. I had no right to blame him for the betrayal I felt when he left me alone at the mansion or at that stupid bar.

But I had to get things straight today. There was only one thing that I wanted to know from him and I had to know it now. If he didn't want me, I'll leave him alone. For forever.

"But I shouldn't have left you alone," he said, looking guilty.

"Wipe that remorse off your face, Logan," I said, closing my eyes. "You cannot be at two places at one time. You had to go after Jean."

That made him silent for a long while. It was so long a while that I had to open my eyes and check his face for if he had fallen asleep or something.

There was no way this was going any further if I didn't make the first move. I had waited so long. If I didn't ask him now, I wouldn't be able to ask him ever. Today, I just had to know.

"I want to ask you something," I said, in a small voice.

He nodded, looking at me.

I took a deep breath, thinking how I would say it. I looked down at my hands as my hair shaded my face from him. At least he couldn't see how divided I felt over this. It would cost all my pride. Yet, I was ready to give away my pride for him. I was ready to give anything for Logan. If only, he felt the same for me.

I felt my heartbeat increasing.

_Shut it Marie. At least you wouldn't have to face what if's all life long. You have to ask him._

Yes, I needed to know what he felt for me.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked, bending forward. I looked up as Logan tucked the white streaks of my hair behind my ear in one swift motion, barely touching my skin. If anything, my heartbeat only increased further.

I gulped. God, I was hyperventilating. The words were on the tip of my tongue, yet I couldn't say them.

And that touch…it felt good. Too good. Blissfully good, in fact. I shut my eyes, imagining Logan kissing me – his lips on mine and our wild, passionate, loving kiss.

Anything for that.

And so, I said it.

With my eyes still shut, and Logan's hand still on my cheek, I squeaked, "Do you like me?"

Logan's hand retrieved and I opened my eyes to see his hand on the bed beside me, his eyes wide, looking intently at me.

"And what do you mean by that?" He asked, getting up and walking to the table on my other side, pouring water in a glass. "Of course I like you Marie. I've known you for so long. You were the first one of my kind – the first one that I met who didn't want to hurt me of course."

I could have strangled him for saying that. As if he couldn't understand. I could feel the rejection even then. But I had to get this straight today. Now.

"Logan, you know what I mean. Its not that you are oblivious to my feelings."

When he didn't answer and barely drank water out of that glass, I continued, "Or you were. You were oblivious. Maybe you were so engrossed in looking at Jean that you never looked at me that way?"

Logan turned to me, his jaw set. "Why do you have to bring her into everything?"

God, I flared at that. That really was the last straw.

"Because I love you, Logan! In case you haven't noticed. Which, now that I come to think of it, maybe you haven't! And you loved her! You loved Jean!" I gulped, "Or maybe you do love her even now. Maybe–"

"Yes, I do," Logan said, keeping the glass down on the table, his nostrils flaring. "I do love her. I love her even now. Even after she's dead. And just because you think love dies with the person, I just can't stop loving her. If I kissed her or even slept with her, it was because I loved her. And I won't deny that fact, even when she's not here with us now."

My mouth fell open as I looked at him. I shut it when I realized it.

He was right. I had no right to make him feel the way I wanted him to feel. But then, I tried again. For one last time. Because I suddenly realized that whatever he said, he never really answered my question. "So you never really felt that way for me?"

"There are memories, Marie," he said, talking in a controlled voice with his back to me. "Memories which are not really clear and complete. But I know some things. I have been here for a very long time. Longer than a lifetime. So long, in fact, that I might have been a part of the Civil War. I'm much older than you think. I'm much older than my body lets on. You are a mere kid. What are you? Twenty? Twenty one? I don't even age the way you do. I have a past that I do not know. You deserve someone better than me. Someone who is right age for you. I'm not the right guy, Marie. It would be wrong. People I love end up dying. I see them die because I outlive them. I don't want this for you."

Of course. I never thought about it. I'll get older than him. Older than what he appeared to be at least. Shit, I never thought about it.

Still I tried again, "But I don't mind anything, Logan! I don't. I just want you!"

"I don't want to drag you in the mess my life is, Marie," Logan said, his back still turned to me. "You don't know anything. You don't know what's right for you."

Still there was hope. He didn't exactly say that he didn't love me.

Or was he finding excuses to not say that he didn't love me? So that he wouldn't hurt me? This thought however killed me. He couldn't not love me. Right?

"You dragged me in when you decided to give me a ride that day, Logan," I said. "And if you were so worried about not aging, about being older than you appeared, why didn't you feel this guilt when you were trying to win Jean over all these years? She would have aged just like me! Why do you just have to bring in your conscience when I am involved? Why don't you just say it? That you don't love me?"

I looked up at him, tears on the brim of falling. Yet, Logan stood with his back turned.

"Fine," Logan said, "I don't love you."

That's when I lost control and tears slipped down my eyes. I wiped them away quickly though. I didn't want to tell him that I was weak or anything. Because that was one thing I wasn't anymore.

"Look at me and say that."

He didn't. He didn't turn.

So I got up and went up to Logan, turning him to face me. Our eyes locked and I said it again, "Logan look at me and say that."

Logan looked at me at last, his eyes cold. Never before had Logan looked at me like this. Never before in my life.

"I don't love you, Marie," Logan said, his voice strained.

My mouth stayed open and my eyes dropped down to the floor. Sure there wouldn't be what if's now. I had the truth. Logan just didn't feel anything for me.

I was a mere kid, after all.

I collapsed on the bed, tucking my feet underneath me. He turned to me again. "Water?"

I shook my head. Everybody said Logan wasn't good with feelings and emotions. He was. He was bad with everyone but me. But the kind of relationship we had was lost ages ago. Our relationship died with Jean's death.

I never realized how bad he was with feelings and relationships. Today, I finally did.

"Marie? Are you crying?" Logan asked, looking worried.

And that was one other thing that I wasn't. I wasn't Marie.

I was Rogue.

"No," I lied. "I'm not crying. And I want to sleep."

"Sure," Logan said, drinking the whole glass in one go. "Lie down. I'll switch off the light."

I did as he said and closed my eyes as the light turned off. And after that, try as I might, I couldn't control the tears that kept falling.

.

**(Mystique)**

.

I came over to check on Rogue again in the morning. I was in a good mood. Rogue was one good kid. I mean, not many people have an effect on Mystique. And she was one of those rare people.

I came in and knocked, only to find Rogue's bed empty. I found Logan sprawled on this big chair, sleeping. Maybe she went for a walk or something.

"Logan?" I called out, trying to shake him out of his sleep. "Logan where's Rogue?"

"Rogue?" Logan got up pretty quickly at that. "Wh-where's Rogue?"

"That's what I'm asking you, Logan," I said, irritated. "Where _is_ Rogue?"

"What? She's not here?" Logan asked, finally getting out of his daze and getting up to check around the room. As if I hadn't already done that.

"She probably went for a walk around the hospital," Logan said, sprinting out of the room.

I instead settled down on Rogue's bed. Last night had been exhausting. What with all the story-telling and then, the long talk with Professor?

Professor wanted me to get back to Brotherhood and keep him informed of their plans. We were still perfecting that plan because I doubted Erik trusted me now after our last encounter. And then, well, I talked to him about Rogue. Seems like Chuck read my thoughts. Hell, I was worried about her. She was almost like a little version of me.

Then, there was also the matter of how Rogue didn't seem to look a day older than when I saw her for the first time all those years ago. Were her powers beyond the realm of what she could touch? Was it affecting her whole self? Were her powers beyond what we had imagined?

Rogue was a Class Four mutant. Sure she had immense power but Chuck speculated that Rogue's powers were more than what she knew, what she let on. Well, maybe Erik was right in speculating that Rogue was special.

I was worried about her. What with her falling for a man with a heart of stone? Logan was a tough choice even for her. Though she had chipped Logan's walls and gained access to his heart, I wondered if Logan would ever love her back the way she wanted him to.

The Wolverine was a hard man, but a man worth it all. Even though Logan looked at Rogue differently than anyone else, I wondered if it was only because she was like his own kid to him. I gulped. If Rogue was to hear that, I bet she wouldn't be happy.

Anyway, I just came back to check on Rogue before I left for the Mansion again, where Chuck and I would further work on our plan. But I very much doubted if his plan would work. Erik worked with perfection. He took people into the Brotherhood, he knew he could trust. And of course, he kept an eye on everybody for a sign of mutiny. I myself had qualms about the job. But if Chuck was intent on sending me among the enemy, I knew I could trust him. Yet, my instincts told me that this was not the job for me.

As of now, I was jobless. I had a lot of money in my several bank-accounts to live lavishly for a lifetime. But sitting down and doing nothing was never me. I loved working with Erik, which was one of the main reasons why I joined back his army. It wasn't him. It was the work.

And then, there was also the matter of a particular hot Cajun, who I thought was interested in me. We had gone on a couple dinner dates now, during Rogue's sickness and I kind of liked him as well. And maybe, it had something to do with the fact that he kissed really well.

I had been one of those girls who just couldn't sit still. Maybe that was what made me Mystique. I was lithe and supple on my feet – something that I was proud of. I was proud of being Mystique. Yet… sometimes I wish I was normal. I could have gone on in life without being who I am now.

Yet, being normal wasn't what I really craved. I looked down at myself, looking at the human skin. I looked like I was supposed to be if the mutation hadn't been triggered, the face that I had when the cure still had its effect on me. But somehow, I didn't feel myself when I looked like this. Maybe there was the sense of adventure in being Mystique that wasn't in being _Raven_ Darkhölme. Maybe that's why I preferred Mystique over _Raven_ Darkhölme.

Logan entered the room, looking worried. I stood up quickly and reached him in three quick strides.

"She's not around here. I cannot smell her anywhere."

"Are you saying that Rogue left?" I asked, my anger flaring. It was obviously because of something Logan did. I could tell that. And my instincts were never wrong. "What did you do?"

"Me?" Logan asked, disbelief etching his face. "I did nothin'!"

"You did something alright," I accused him. "Rogue couldn't just have left! She was all fine yesterday. What did _you _do?"

I pushed him aside and shut the room's door behind him and curtained the window, turning back into me. The real Mystique. "Tell me what you did," I said, moving up to him, "Before I have to get it out of you."

"Why are you this worried about her anyway?"

"Never you mind," I said, reaching for his collar. Obviously I wasn't just going to tell him why I was so worried about her. Rogue was just like me in ways I could never explain. And then, there was also the obvious. I was… I was Rogue's adoptive mother before the D'Ancantoes adopted her. "Tell me before I knock you dead."

"And you think you can," Logan growled, stepping ahead.

I glared at him as he glared back, eye for an eye. "Tell me what you did that made her runaway!"

At that, Logan backed, worry replacing his anger. "Look, I know it's my fault. But she asked somethin' that I would never have been able to give her. I never knew she would leave like this!"

"What?" I asked, even though I knew it before he said it. "What did she ask for?"

"She asked me if I loved her and I told her I didn't," he said, pacing about the room, his hand on his forehead.

"And you don't?" I asked, sitting on the bed again.

"Does it matter?" He asked instead of answering. "Does it matter what I feel? She's a kid Mystique."

"But what is it that you feel?"

"I told you it doesn't matter!" He said, his pace increasing. "She deserves somebody better than me."

"And it wouldn't matter to you if she kisses somebody else?" I asked. I could see his face contorting into anger. He let out a growl, but I smiled and risked it. Anyway, I was enjoying this – some action after months of nothingness. "If she hugs somebody else?" I asked, walking up to him and trailing a finger along his jaw-line. "If she touches somebody else?" Then, I returned back to the bed, bouncing on it, "If she sleeps–"

Logan was at my collar in a second, pulling me up in the air. "Don't!" He said, just as I heard the clink of his claws. "Don't test me!"

With one good kick on his face, Logan was down on the floor, but up in a second more. "Don't think you can beat me so easily," I said, smirking at his scowl, "Just because I joined your side, doesn't mean that I've started liking you, Wolvie."

He rubbed a hand to where I had kicked him, glowering at me.

"_You_ made her leave, Logan. What would she live here for anyway? Seeing you flaunt yourself with other women? I doubt she would have liked seeing you with Jean."

"So what?" I asked back. "She is just twenty years old–"

"Give or take a year," I reminded him, making him glare at me.

"I don't know my past. I don't know my age. I don't know what all I have done in the past. I'm not the right one for her."

"Yet you cannot see her in anyone else's arms," I reminded him again, smiling at his anger.

"It doesn't matter what I feel Mystique. I'd never come in the way of her normal life."

"Really now," I said, circling him, like a prey. "Who told you that she ever _had_ a normal life, anyway?"

"I just know that it's at least it's better than something I can give her," he murmured.

"How do you know that?" I asked. "Have you ever felt the way she does? The way she feels? Her powers make her weak inside. She found her solace in you. She was there when you needed her. But were you there for her? Logan you do love her–"

"I don't love her!" He interrupted me.

"–And yet you deny it," I completed. "She doesn't want anything besides you and you want to give her everything but."

He slumped on Rogue's bed behind me. It creaked but remained still. "It's not right. I'm older than her father! She ages, I don't."

"She doesn't need to know that. She doesn't care. And in any case, if you haven't noticed, she doesn't look a day older than when I saw her first with Erik."

"What do you mean?" he asked looking up at me.

"What I mean is," I said, turning to him, "that I think that Rogue isn't aging too."

"What?" He asked getting up. "That just can't be possible."

"Really now?" I asked him.

He fell silent, looking down at the floor. I could actually imagine cogs turning in his brain right then, with bulb lighting up above his head.

"Well, she does look like she did a couple years ago. What does the Professor think?"

"He doesn't really know. He says it's only been a few years to tell that exactly but he doubts himself. I think he agrees with my theory."

"But why? Why isn't she aging?"

"Professor said that maybe she is absorbing peoples' powers permanently now."

"What?"

"She has been in a very long contact with you, Logan. She has got your non-aging power." But then, I suddenly realized something else. "But then again, she's in contact of Storm, Professor, and the others too. Why isn't she…?"

"She is," Logan said, looking grimly at me. "I saw her eyes this one time. They were Storm's. When Storm's angry or when she is concentrating on using her powers."

"When?" I asked, really intrigued.

"I, uh," Logan turned around, not facing me anymore. "I hit her and she got really angry, I guess and then, her eyes turned an exact replica of Storm's. All white for a second. Back then, I thought that I had imagined it and didn't really react."

"You hit her?" I asked, though I knew it. I acted really surprised though. However, I did feel angry.

Logan turned around. "Look, I really don't know how it exactly happened. One second, I was listening and then the next, I was staring down at my hands. I couldn't believe that I had hit her myself. I jus–"

That's when I landed another kick across his face. I turned around on the toes of my feet, hitting him across his face. But this time, Logan didn't scowl at me. He looked… even guiltier than he already did, a hand clutched to his face.

"I guess I deserved it," Logan said, sitting back on the bed.

Strange. I had never, and I mean, _never _seen Logan back down. Even if it was his fault all the way. That just wasn't Logan. Maybe, he really did feel guilty about it.

A few uncomfortable moments later, I walked to the door. "So, you want to find her. I can help you. But on a certain condition."

"What?" Logan growled, looking up from where he was staring at the floor.

"If you tell me what exactly you feel for her, Logan," I said, "I'll make finding her a lot easier for you."

"I told you," he argued. "She's just a frien'. A really close one, but that's it." Then, he got up and looked away. "If you've had your fill, I think we should look for her."

"Look, Logan," I sighed. He was just one tough man and wanted everything his way. Unfortunately for him, I was just like him in that manner. "We'll go from here, find Rogue and you'll have your argument all over and then, she'll run away again. Don't you get it? If you can't love her, then, she wants nothing else from you. Nothing else. It's either everything for her, or its nothing. There's no use finding her if you don't feel that way for her. It would come down to the same thing. If you're still stuck on it, I'd suggest you to go back to the mansion and live there as X-Men, or I don't know, roam around the world, go to Canada and enjoy your life. Forget her."

Logan glared at me.

"Sorry buddy, you can't have everything your way."

"What all do you know about her exactly?" He asked now, looking at me.

I sighed yet again. He was a slow learner. I hated being the teacher here. "I've watched her Logan. Through the years. Erik always thought she was misfit among you. She was never a savior like Chuck. She was always the… demolisher. She belonged with us. You might not have seen her, but she trusted you with everything she ever had. She saw you falling over Jean, but she never said a thing. When you mourned for Jean, she provided you with a shoulder. But you left her. She felt betrayed._ Still_ she loved you. She resented you leaving her, but that never changed the way she felt about you. She thought she'd never be seeing you again, she was miserable, Logan and yet she'd never hear a word against you."

Logan didn't reply, didn't say anything.

God. Where's my reaping after so much of good work, all in a day? This was bad. I tried being the good girl, but this guy had a thick skull. Nothing just got through.

"Okay," I said, sensing my defeat for now, "Tell me when you get tired of this game. When you are ready accept your feelings for her, your _true_ feelings for her. Only then, I'll help you find Rogue. And believe me, I can make finding her really easy."

Logan got up, searching around in his pockets. I shrugged and I turned into my old skin again, opening the door.

"Fuck," Logan cursed suddenly, making me look back at him. He looked at me. "She stole my car's keys!"

I smiled involuntarily, shaking my head at him. "She _is _wiser than you give her credit for, Logan," I said. "She's not growing older, but she is aging. You need to think beyond her face."

With that, I left the room, determined on finding a certain friend who would in turn help me find Rogue.

* * *

><p><em>So, what about this chapter? Review and tell me! I love reading them and find it hard not to update quickly after reading them! (:<em>

_Keep me working on this story by reviewing._


	8. Leslie Fernandez

_Update! This one is more of a building chapter again. Next up, I have Logan's point of view. I've already written it so review and I'd post sooner. (Haha, sorry, but I looove reviews.)_

_Thanks to all those who did review. Actually, I'm falling behind on this story a bit because I've started a new Vampire Diaries fanfiction and I'm so involved in it that I can't think about anything else. Much._

_But this one is the first fanfiction that I've written and this one has a special meaning for me that way. So, of course, I make this one my first priority._

_Although Ian Somerhalder would always win from Hugh Jackman. Don't you agree? ;)_

_I'm introducing a new character in this one, as the name suggests. Tell me what you think about him._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

**Leslie Fernandez**

.

I drove the whole night running away from the hospital, running away from Logan. I didn't want to see him ever ever again. If he thought I cared, I didn't. For me, Logan was dead. I just didn't care what happened to him or the fuckin' X-Men anymore.

I took my duffel bag, which Mystique had brought me last night – to change into when I got discharged – which was the only personal belonging that I had now. Thank God, she brought it to me, or else, I wouldn't even have had a pair of decent clothes to change into from the stupid hospital gown.

My eyes were drooping shut by the time I ended up in the first motel I saw and crashed in it. I didn't have much money left after I paid all my hospital bills. I didn't want Logan or Professor paying them. At least whatever amount of it was left to be paid.

I knew I had to take care of where I spent my money next but I also knew that I couldn't take anymore help than I already had from anybody back at the Mansion, especially Logan.

It was harder than ever getting that car's keys from Logan. He had them in his jeans pocket and with huge efforts did I finally weasel them out of him. I still couldn't exactly get how he never really caught me red-handed. I was half-fearing him grabbing my hand and then having a fight all over with him.

Plus, there are a whole lot of other aspects involved when you are working with someone's jeans' pocket.

I didn't even know where exactly I was. I couldn't see much of where I was going through all my tears, nor did I care much. I just wanted to put as much distance between Logan and myself before he realized that I was gone. And even if Logan found me this time, I knew I wasn't going anywhere with him. Even if he blackmailed me or anything. I just couldn't take any of his bloody face again.

The next morning when I woke up, thankfully, there was no Logan around. God there was never a time each second of the day I wished I'd never see him again. Ever ever again.

I ended up in a diner 'The Diana's' for breakfast. I didn't know what I had ordered until I had the food in front of my face. Even then, I didn't mind much while I was eating. I was mostly gazing out at the people walking by, not tasting what I was eating, feeling like I'd start crying all over again.

I sighed. I never trusted my choices anymore. The only guy I ever truly loved turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life. Not being loved back was one of the worst feelings in the world. It just made you feel lonelier than you already were.

All I needed was somebody to cry all my rants on, somebody to tell what an asshole Logan was, how unfeeling and uncaring he was. Shit, I just needed somebody to listen to me and I had nobody in this whole wide world.

I could always go back to see Remy but I knew I wouldn't be able to cry my heart out in front of him. I needed a girl, I knew. Maybe I should consider calling Jubilee up. I just wanted her to nod and say everything would be alright and this was not the end even though I felt like everything was over for me.

But Jubilee lived in the Mansion and calling her up could again connect me with Logan. After all, it was her phone that Logan called me on. Logan was her former teacher and she couldn't exactly have said a 'no'. And maybe she was probably involved in everything herself. Maybe she wanted Logan to trick me to come back to the Mansion too and thought Logan was the only guy I would ever agree to.

But Jubilee was the only girl who knew how I felt. I had shared everything with her for the past few years and shit, I needed her beside me with an ice–cream tub, ready to lend her shoulder to me.

I gulped again, swallowing down my tears. I wouldn't cry for Logan. It just made everything all the more worse.

Why had I fallen in love with Logan?

Why didn't I ever see for what he really was?

Logan wasn't the guy who could fall in love with anyone like me. He just wanted woman like Jean with long legs and perfect face. Of course he wouldn't want me.

God, I was hopeless.

And, I was jobless.

I was also broke.

And I had no friends.

No love.

And I was terribly miserable.

Suddenly, a guy slipped into my booth.

"Lonely?" He offered as I looked up to him. He was a decent looking guy, wearing a white t–shirt. His eyes were a sharp blue and his lips were curved into half a smirk. "Need somebody to talk to?"

"No," I said, calling the waitress over.

"Let me pay that for you," the guy said, taking out a brown wallet, which looked quite heavy.

"What do you need?" I asked, getting really irritated. I wasn't in mood of…well, anything. "Leave me alone."

The waitress produced my bill and I paid her the bill and her tip and left as quickly as I could. The guy looked creepy and I was feeling goose-bumps all over due to his smirk.

"Hi," I heard beside me and turned to find the same guy. "I'm Leslie."

"And why are you telling me that?"

"Because I'm a psychic and I know what you're thinking. What a creep, but look–"

That only made me walk faster to my car. "Just back off," I said. The guy was obviously a fluke and I didn't need anymore drama in my life than I already had.

Then, I got into my car, correction, Logan's car, and started it, turning the ignition on. It was a black camaro and quite a classy and fast thing. Soon I was on the highway, driving at high speed.

I surely had to ditch this car. What if Logan tried finding me via it?

Since I had nothing better to do anyway, I took the directions for a nearby junkyard and traded Logan's black camaro for a silver Audi roadster. I didn't listen much to what the make and year of the car was while I zoned out and wondered how miserable I really was. This was obviously a pretty expensive car. Well, I smiled, you deserve this, Logan. I really wanted to crash his car so bad that he wouldn't be able to drive it ever again. Sadly, I was on the verge of going broke, so I couldn't even consider it.

While going back to my motel, I stopped and bought some ice cream. I could always drown in self-pity alone. Anyway, my motel days were soon going to be over. I would have to sleep in the car and though my back would cry desperately for the torture it would experience, I'd have to suffer this or else I'd soon have no money left for my meals.

I checked in and crashed for the day, watching the traffic running out of my window, which sadly was a car in every few minutes.

Shit, I sucked big time.

Before I drifted off into nothingness though, my phone started ringing. It was the same old tune that I had set a while ago and without really noticing it, I realized that until then, I hadn't known that my duffel bag still had my phone.

I picked up the phone on the unknown number, thinking about changing my number the moment I stepped out again. I half feared hearing any voice from anybody I knew. I just didn't want to talk to anybody right now. I neither had the time, nor the patience.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey, Rogue," I heard on the other side in a sweet chiming voice that I knew I had heard somewhere but didn't exactly know where to place.

"Hi, who's this?"

"Um, it's Debbie. From the hospital?"

"Oh, right, Debbie," I said, smiling in spite myself, remembering her face. "How are you?"

"Uh, I'm fine," she said. "And I hope you're fine too. You guys left without checking with the doctor for the final time."

"Yeah, it was an emergency. I'm perfectly fine though. Not dropping into coma or anything," I laughed at the stupid thing I had said, despite realizing it was stupid.

"Yeah, okay," Debbie said, probably realizing I wasn't sane anymore after the coma. "I just uh, wanted to inform you that we have a couple belongings left here at the hospital. It's this golden and silver watch and a pair of earrings."

"Oh," I said, looking out at a silver bug riding outside the window. "Uh, I'm not in town at the moment but uh, I'll come and collect them as soon as possible."

Even though that watch was a personal favorite of mine, I wasn't exactly going to go right back to get it back. My mom gave it to me on my fifteenth birthday. It was one of the few things that I had remaining of them. The earrings, however, were from a thrift store and didn't matter a dime to me.

"Okay," Debbie said, "I hope I'll see you soon."

"Sure thing," I said, smiling and gazing back at the window while disconnecting the call.

I shook my head. How easy was it to lie these days?

_Sure thing._

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><p>There was a knock on my door and I opened the door, fully awake despite my attempts to sleep, to find none other than my old friend, Leslie.<p>

"What are you doing here?" I asked, really annoyed now. Had this guy just followed me? Creepy much?

"Yes, I'm creepy in a way," he almost answered my thoughts. But it was so obvious that I was thinking that. "Look, I know you are in trouble, so why don't you just let me help you?"

"What kind of trouble?" I asked.

"Some Logan guy ditched you, you are broke and in a desperate condition."

"What?" I gaped at him.

"I'm a mutant and I can read minds," he answered simply, giving me that smirk again.

"And…?" I asked, still not getting what this guy wanted. Sure it was a surprise that I caught the attention of every freaking mutant on my way, which was way weird, but I wasn't getting his point.

"You can live with me."

"What?" I said, all over again, really shocked and irritated at the guy's audacity.

Okay, this guy was definitely a mental–asylum runaway.

"Look, I'm not crazy okay? You can have a room back at my home and I'll ask you nothing in return for it. How does that sound?"

"And why exactly are you doing this?" I still couldn't get it. Was I so miserable it ever showed on my face for random guys to come and try helping me? Correction, random mutant guys.

"Um, because I'm a really handsome nice guy?"

I raised an eye-brow at that.

"And I'm desperately in need of some company?"

I still looked at the creepy guy unconvinced. Who was he and what did he want?

"What's the catch?" I asked again.

"Okay, I study mutants."

"You what?" Really, this guy was weird.

"I'm a scientist for a want of a better word," he said, scratching his head. "I'm studying mutants. I study their behavior and well, I help them increase their powers their abilities. Practice and everything. And then, um, we compete in this championship."

"A championship?" Whoa, there was a championship where mutants fought? Weird. And… well, unheard of.

"Yeah," he said, looking sheepish and leaning against the door frame. "Only mutants know about it and very few ones at that. It was started by my father. He was exceptionally good at and he wanted some sort way to bring mutants together for entertainment. It's pretty fun actually."

"And you want me to what… fight?" I asked, raising my eye-brows.

"Well, you can't exactly fight since your powers have become dormant for the time being. I'm sure they'll come back and uh, your powers are very unique. You could easily defeat many people by uh, merely _touching_," he said, giving his trademark smirk to me again, "them, which is surprisingly easy."

"Wow." What? There was nothing else to say.

"Wow indeed," he smiled. "I have at least half a dozen more mutants back home who have volunteered. And their powers have remarkably increased since they joined me."

So what? He did tests or something on mutants?

"No, I don't," he answered my thoughts, "I just study their normal behavior. Don't worry, I won't strap you to a chair and poke you around with syringes. I detest syringes myself."

"And why would I believe you?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Uh, I've got a friend of mine to show you who uh… could make you believe that I am not as crazy as I sound." Then Leslie nodded to the left somewhere, outside my room at someone. In a couple seconds, a girl came into my view who had at least five different shade of pink in her strawberry blonde hair. She had a pretty face, was short and sweet looking.

"Meet Eve," Leslie said, motioning over to her, "She's a mutant just like you."

Eve smiled at me and before I could respond, suddenly, I was pinned to the wall behind me on the opposite side of my room, a couple feet in the air. Before I could even move again, I dropped down the floor and hit my back pretty badly.

"Ouch," I cried, rubbing my back.

"Eve," Leslie said, in a frustrated voice, "I told you not to do that to random people."

"Well, its fun," she said, turning around and walking away, disappearing from my view, as I stared at both of them. "And you don't let us have any. You're paying me Fernandez, or else by now, I would have thrown you down some valley for fun."

Leslie came and helped me get up. "You still don't look like any kind of scientist," I said, getting up, imagining Einstein, who was the first scientist who popped up into my head. Then, nodding at my door, I said, "And I don't like her."

Leslie smiled. "Pretty handsome compared to the messed up grey-haired Einstein, huh?"

I smiled, shaking my head. "Also," I looked meaningfully at him, "You've got to stop reading my thoughts."

He smiled, nodding. "I'll try. It's a second nature. But I'll try." Then, walking back to the door, he said, "You're staying here the night or uh, do you want to go see my humble abode?"

"Uh," I said, picking up my car keys from my bed-side table while shrugging, "I just have nothing better to do. Plus, I'm broke as you pointed out. So let's go."

SSS

"Why do people with huge mansions for homes, call them home humble abodes again?" I asked, getting finally to the room that was supposed to be mine.

Leslie smiled sheepishly, "It's my father's and I sort of… acquired his habit?"

"Oh," I said, sitting down into a big chair a few feet from the foot of my bed, while looking around the room. Leslie's house was really colossal. There were at least a dozen bedrooms, twice as many bathrooms and two huge kitchens, not to forget the largest living room I had ever seen. The entire place was decorated with tapestries, paintings and curtains along with great furniture and a whole lot of servants, not to forget the butler who had opened the door for us.

"So, uh, I'll leave you now, if you want. But if you don't want that, no worries. I can always stay the night," Leslie said smiling, still standing at my door.

I smiled. In the past couple of hours, I had learned that Leslie just talked that way. And it was quite a relief from all the growling, believe me.

"Even though I'm highly honored, I'd have to decline that offer," I said, smiling genuinely the first time in… I don't know when.

"I'm hurt," He said, a hand on his heart, smiling, "Goodnight then, Rogue."

"Good night," I replied, not still remembering when exactly I had told Leslie my name.

I also realized that by the end of the day

I wasn't jobless.

I was broke but I guess I wouldn't be one in the near future.

I wasn't exactly friendless, if you could call good company friendship.

And, I wasn't feeling as miserable as I felt in the morning.

I smiled bitterly. Quite a day. Then, I switched off the lights on my way to my bed.

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><p><em>Liked it? So review it!<em>

_Didn't like it? Review it anyway. :P_


	9. So Be It

_Thanks for your reviews, especially** Triciaxy** for making my day with those four lines. To all those who put this story on alert or fav'd this - I appreciate this a lot, guys! Thank you all. Here's Logan's point of view. I've tried to really get into his mind and explain what everything has been about. Please tell me what you think of it. I am bad with the way the guys think. Tell me if I really did hit it on spot._

_Oh, and who all of you are on wattpad? I'll be posting my work there too. Not only fanfiction, but fiction too. I just joined though._

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

**So be it**

.

**Logan's POV**

.

Yes, I am brute and heartless and cruel and evil and just plain bad. I have done lot things in life that I shouldn't have. I still don't regret the day I gave ride to Marie, because well, that incident brought me closer to the girl. Too close in fact, that I didn't know what to do any further, what to think anymore except where the hell she was.

Marie had a tendency to attract mutants, anyone could see. First time out, she caught me. Next time, she got hold of that Cajun boy. I didn't want to know where she was now, given that last time I caught her bar-tendering in a shithole of a bar, all the bloody guys staring at her and so, I had a feeling that I'd get really angry all over again when I'd finally know where she was now.

And that was the thing. Seeing her close to any guy made my blood boil – whether it was that Popsicle boy, Bobby or that Cajun charmer, Remy – I just couldn't imagine Marie in the arms of any other guy. It was frustrating. Yes, I was jealous.

In this whole wide world, I had never felt jealous of someone. Yet, being with Marie made me feel that too. I never saw Scott as a competition to me. I never ever felt jealous of him. Because in some part of my brain, I knew Jean liked me. But I guess Marie was bringing my emotions out more than I ever thought. It just wasn't safe. Because the wild is better left wild. And people like me were better left alone.

Yes, people like me. I wasn't cut for this love shit. I still don't know how to respond to these feelings. Because well, I don't know love. From the moment I opened my eyes with no knowledge of my past, present or future, I had seen love around me, but I had never felt it. And here I am, talking about it, feeling it, experiencing it.

People like me were used to one night stands. People like me didn't get attached to anything or anyone. People like me left before the real thing started. Because we didn't want to be held down, bound or made to loose our freedom.

In past, I have seen the consequences of what I had done, yet today was the day I finally felt like punishing myself. A while ago, I was immune to the world, because I felt I had faced the worse and knew that life couldn't get any shittier than what I already had seen. I have been all this for so many years and much much more.

And yet, today was the day to realize it all. When I had lost everything. When I had lost every freaking thing in my life.

I didn't have a home or family or anything really except the clothes on my back. I didn't have friends, alliances, love. Anything at all.

Because I threw away all that I had. And today, I am alone with nothing to do, nowhere to be, no direction in life, what-so-ever.

I have never felt this protective towards anyone. I have never felt this jealous towards anyone. I have missed somebody so much. The way I was irritated with Scott over Jean was just a fraction of what I felt for that Popsicle or that Cajun. Because they had been closer to Marie than I was. Than I ever allowed myself. Than I ever allowed her.

And it wasn't because I didn't love her. It was because I knew I wasn't good for her. I was divided over everything, realizing the whole thing and still in denial. I loved her and yet I couldn't confront her with my feelings. Because I knew, what I was. And what I was, wasn't what Marie could have taken.

Marie was everything that symbolized good. At heart, she was genuine and pure. I, on the other hand, was everything that was corrupt. I _am_ everything that's corrupt. She doesn't know things about me. I don't know things about myself. How a person so messed up like me could be made for something so simple and good as her?

And so, for her own good, I never really accepted anything until she said it right in front of my face. And those tears. God, I had never felt so wrecked in my life as the salty smell of those tears did to me. I almost ran to her and kissed her tears away. And yet, even the thought of kissing her made me rebuke myself.

Did you ever get a feeling to take something for yourself but knew it was wrong? Like you knew that not only was it wrong for all world to know, it was wrong to even think, it was wrong to even speak of and yet you couldn't stop thinking about that thing or making yourself believe that you didn't really want it?

Like a candy when you have severe case of diabetes?

That candy in my life is Marie. I felt everything towards her, yet I had to pretend, _act _like it was nothing, like I was immune to how she smiled, or laughed or, lent me a hand. It was disheartening and yet, I couldn't do anything else. Because I knew that even to think about something like kissing Marie, or holding her in my arms or touching her, was wrong –- something that I shouldn't even put myself to reflect upon, least of all put into action or… or feel.

Because yes, and I hate to say it, she is a kid. She needs protection _from _people like me. She doesn't need to be put into their company. I felt protective about her. And all those days with Jean gone and only her to tell me that all would be good again, that Sun would definitely shine again, it was even harder not to think of the feel of those arms around me in a non-platonic way.

Everyday, I reprimanded myself, told myself that it was wrong, it was dreadful to think about Marie that way. And yet, I couldn't stop.

And then, there was the fact that I had killed Jean in the most lethal and emotionally-blackmailing way possible. I couldn't help but feel disgusted with myself. I had induced a false sense of trust in her, only to dig my claws into her flesh and bone and kill her, stop her from breathing anymore. And then, to wake up everyday to the feeling of happiness that I'd see Marie again that day, felt like cheating on Jean. I felt appalled that I killed Jean, only to wake up to a yearning of having my arms around Marie the next day.

And so, because I needed a little rest from feeling divided and conflicted, like I was sinning each time I looked at Marie and thought of touching her, kissing her or holding her, I left Marie alone. I could feel Marie inclining towards me. Even though I knew that that the Popsicle was no good for her, I could see myself a reason of her break-up with her back then. She spent more time with me than with anybody else in the Mansion and I had heard some of the rumors. I didn't want to defame or discredit Marie. I needed her to give life one heck of chance without me. To have a life without me interfering in it every time. And if she had had a decent guy when I got back, then I'd have ridden myself of the insane desire to make Marie look at me the same way she looked at the Iceman.

Only, after spending about two years on doing whatever the heck I wanted –going back to Canada, visiting old places from my memory, drowning myself in beer – when I thought I had finally overcome my feelings for Marie, I came back. I knew I had done justice to Jean as well. I thought that maybe I had given Marie enough time to live life her own way. That I'd find a Marie who would have someone else in her life besides me now. I knew it was what was best for her and despite that little hint of sadness of finally losing her, I went back to the Mansion only to find no Marie there.

Worry for Marie blinded everything else for Marie. She had almost killed a kid back at the Mansion. But I knew it wasn't her fault. Marie couldn't even have dreamt of hitting a kid, putting him intentionally into a coma was a long way away. I knew it would only have hurt her, made her curse herself, blame herself.

And I knew there was one person in the Mansion, who might know about the whereabouts of Marie and I exploded in on Professor Xavier's room, demanding where Marie was. When he gave me the message she had left me, I couldn't fathom why Marie was so angry with me. I mean, I gave her time and space to live life… what had I done wrong?

So, I forced Professor Xavier into seeing things my way, telling him that I cared for her and wanted to find her, bring her back for her own good. For a full week, I had no idea where Marie was. Even more dreadful was the fact that I had thought she was safe at the Mansion, when she wasn't even there in the first place. In that week alone, I had thought of a hundred different scenes that Marie could be in. No matter the time or the place, I just couldn't get the fact out of my head that Marie was missing and she always ended up at wrong places at wrong times. Only after repeated persistence of a week, did Professor told me to go and seek Marie's friend Jubilee.

Through Jubilee, I finally tracked Marie's vague address, taking Scott's bike to reach her faster. Even though I didn't have the exact location of where Marie could be, I randomly looked in streets until I finally arrived at the bar where Marie and I had first met. When I went back to the place, remembering how we had met, I was flabbergasted to see her working there.

Even the sight of her made me forget everything else. It made me forget my resolution, my attempts. For a second, I just looked at her, seeing her smile, watching the twinkle in her eye and feeling her scent over–powering me. Oh Lord, her scent. It was like aphrodisiac, pulling me, inviting me in. It was something sweet, like sugar, with a hint of wine, which was probably from all the alcohol she was serving those leering customers.

And that got me out of my trace. When I saw the population of the place, people of all sorts, eyeing her up and down, grabbing her hand, passing comments… I had to fight against the itching on my knuckles, signaling the claws. Growling, I came closer, her scent driving me insane with need.

I hadn't slept with a woman since Jean and a Marie in skirt only turned me on, thinking of all the ways I could think of to pull that skirt off her, to hold her, to feel her, to kiss those lips, the feeling of being–

I shook my head again. Even the thought of her…

I knew when I drank beer at that bar, I was drinking up my resolve and loosing sight of everythin' I had planned for us both. For a moment out there, I forgot that Marie was best left without me – and all because of seeing her first time in so long.

Those drinkers staring at her and that Cajun who kept lookin' and noddin' over at her only boiled my blood. I cold see him in my place, lookin' out for Marie. Only, I didn't want anybody to take my bloody place in my Marie's life. That and the fact that Marie still looked same as ever, got me all provoked into almost threatening the Cajun with my claws, which was pretty low even for a man like me. The sting of claws breaking through finally reminded me my resolve and quickly, I hid the claws, which thankfully, nobody in their drunk state had noticed. And so, controlling myself and warning her against running away, I left her with a promise of meeting her again, getting her rid of her stinkin' job and taking her back to the Mansion that night itself.

Back outside into fresh air, while keeping an eye on the bar, I realized what I had done. I had lost up two whole years of hard-work because of a single sight of her. I felt jealous and protective her all over again, something which I thought I had gotten over.

And I was jealous because of the people who mattered to her. I realized what she was angry of. She was angry because I left her alone, that I was no longer anything to her. Those words alone made my heart stop, made me want to draw her in my arms and tell her that I couldn't part ways with her, whatever happened. And what was worse was the fact that I knew I couldn't be to her, anymore, what those people were to her. She had lost her trust on me.

Yes, I cared for her. I cared immensely for Marie. And that's why I still couldn't get over the fact that I hit her. I don't even know how or why that happened. I mean, sure I couldn't just get over my guilt for Jean. The fact that I had killed her while expressing my love for her was something I just couldn't get over. I couldn't get over the blame that I had to be the one who killed her, I _cannot _get over the fact that she would have been living if it weren't for my breach of trust.

How easy it would have been if someone else would have done the deed. I know it was important that the Phoenix be killed, but why did it have to be me?

If it would have been somebody else, I would have had somebody else to blame, to yell at and to hate. But hating yourself was too difficult.

And yet, Marie made me hate myself that I had hit her. God, still didn't know how I hit her. It was as if the whole thing just happened without me knowing. Or maybe it was the drinking I had taken to lately – because in no way, in my right mind, could I have hit my Marie. It was as if there was a lapse in my memory when I hit her.

I had gotten over Jean a long while ago. I hated to admit it because that made me feel like a immoral person all over again. I couldn't even admit that to Marie. I knew I was bad with feelings and expressing and saying all that, explaining that to anyone – it just wasn't me.

There are people who come into your life, people whom you love, people you lose but can't get over. Jean was one of those peoples for me. I fell for her the time I saw her, even before I knew she was Scott's girlfriend. But I had feelings for Marie too. Just, the fact that Jean was more age appropriate and more difficult to get, made the chase so much better.

You know what they say about temporary attractions? I wouldn't call Jean a temporary attraction because she was never that. But I'd call Marie a permanent one. I tried overlooking Marie and focusing on someone much more suitable for me. And I did fall in love with Jean too. And I still loved Jean. I had high affections for her, I respected her. I blamed myself for killing her because I felt like I had tricked her.

But Marie was always there, with or without Jean holding my attention. I still couldn't get when I fell for her. And so even though I loved Jean, even though I could never get over that love, I loved Marie too.

Complicated, I know. But it's the truth.

And so, even though I knew I was intensely soft on Jean's subject and that I couldn't hear anything bad about her, yet to hit Marie over Jean was something I just couldn't imagine. I just didn't know what I was thinking.

Yes, I rightly deserved that kick by Mystique. I still couldn't get it why she had formed such an attachment with Marie but I was grateful for that kick. I deserved an even greater punishment than just that.

I mean, hitting a girl was never me. I always thought that the chivalry stuff was a bogus (yes, I was never a charmer) nonetheless even I never thought that I could hit a girl. Especially, a girl like Marie – a girl, who really had done so much for me, the girl I had such intense feelings for?

I sighed. I had made so much mistakes in my life that I doubted Marie would even take me now. Not only had I hit her, loosing my respect, I had left her drunk in a bar, loosing her trust completely. That was something I really was sorry for too. She was drunk and anything could have happened to her. Yet, the sight of Jean there, made me forget all direction, all reason. That was something else I was guilty of and couldn't place anywhere logically. I mean, how could I have left Marie unattended just to run after Jean?

Everything was so messed up right now, I didn't know what to do. Just that one mistake landed Marie into hospital. I didn't know how to pay back for that. Because it was something I just couldn't pay-back.

While Marie was coma for three months, I questioned my love for her each freaking day, blamed myself for her condition and hated myself even more. If I really loved her, would I have left her all alone? All reason and logic shouted 'no' to me. I was ready to compensate for it _all_ in _any_ way possible. I wanted someone to knock me down flat too. Bloody mutation, I'd still be as good as new in a coupe hours at most, while… Marie had to suffer three months of nothingness – all because of my stupid lapse in judgment.

So, I decided that maybe I never loved Marie. Maybe I just didn't know what love was. That every time, I thought I loved someone, I messed their lives up. Every time, I was close to someone, I harmed them terribly.

Yet, Mystique felt the clear opposite. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know where to go. Everything had stopped working for me. I loved her, yet I didn't act like I love her. She wanted me to be with her, I wanted to be with her, but if we were together, Marie got hurt. Every freaking time.

I knew I wasn't the dream-guy any woman would want and I couldn't even face that cheesy romantic stuff. I just wasn't that sort of a guy. And Marie was everything opposite of me. Yet, I couldn't distance myself from even thinking about her. We could be together but was I worth her love?

Was finding Marie even the right thing to do? Because really what Mystique said was true. Marie wanted a lover, not an overprotected asshole like me. And I wanted Marie but I was all wrong for her.

With her not aging now, there was a whole wide world for us. I could tell her what I really felt for her. But then again, was age always the factor hindering me from telling her?

The reason was simple.

I was a brute man and Marie, sweet and innocent, still pure. And I couldn't think of myself as the man who tarnished something so good in life. How could two people such as us fall for each other?

Then, there was her mutation. I didn't care a bit about it. I was ready to wait an eternity for her, if only it meant that we could be together in any way possible. If it meant that Marie would only look at me as her soul–mate and I'd only seek her in sorrow and happiness, in hard and happy times, dead or alive. But us being together – was it the right thing? Was I even worth all the love Marie could give me if I still couldn't save her when she needed me the most?

God, I didn't know.

For a second, I pictured Marie's face, seeing all the horrible scenes I had pictured her in, in a sort of flashback. She could be in danger and I knew this. So, I took out my phone and did the first thing I could think of doing.

It had taken me so much time to admit, but now I was ready. If this could give me just one chance with her, just one moment to tell her what she really meant to me, so be it. If it could mean that I could envision us together in future, I didn't care about anything else.

I picked up my phone. Mystique had given me her number during Marie's illness, to contact her in case of an emergency.

"Logan," Mystique's crisp voice called out to me.

"I love her," I answered without any preambles.

"Meet me on that sorry excuse for a bar down the road from the hospital," she said, disconnecting the phone.

I gulped and got up. I had to find my Marie and tell her what I kept inside me all this while.

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><p><em>Reviews make me smile and inspired. Hit the link down below to tell me what goes on in your mind. Let it be about anything. <em>

_By the way, what do you think Mystique has up her sleeve? Will Logan be able to find Rogue? What will be Rogue's reaction? Tell me and I'd be happy to answer and correct you. Or maybe praise you at your genius answers of telling me exactly what I was thinking of doing ahead. _

_Ask away your questions! I had so many questions the last time I posted this (although half-way, but still). Tell me what you keep thinking about in regard to this story. _


	10. Pain

_Thank you all for the reviews, especially** Laani**. _

_Hallo, **Laani**! Vielen Dank! Ihre Antwort war so süß. Ich genoß wirklich zu lesen. Seine gut zu wissen, dass die Menschen auf der ganzen Welt genießen, was ich schreibe. Ich bin dieses Posting Kapitel heute speziell für Sie! Doch lesen Sie weiter! :) (Ich habe Google Translator. Sorry, wenn es irgendwelche Fehler sind)._

_**Xman 1234765**: I think many would feel the way that you have. First of all, thank you for the constructive criticism. I was somehow expecting this. I'll try to explain it to you here. What Logan feels for Rogue is more intense than what he feels for Jean. He'll always choose Rogue over Jean. Its just that he feels guilty for what he did to Jean and at that time when he killed Jean, he loved her. So, he thinks that if he stops loving her now, it would be like betraying Jean. He can't admit that he doesn't love Jean. Because he does. Its like your past love. You can't stop loving them, its just that, you love them in a different way. You have different types of feelings for them. But whatever happens, you know that you'll choose the current love of your life over your past love, which in Logan's case is Rogue._

_**Correction:** I just found a correction. I've made it bold. Guys please tell me of you find a mistake._

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><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

**Pain**

In the few couple of months, I had seen a part of the mutant world that I wouldn't have dared imagine inside the four walls of the Mansion. There at the mansion, what was protected, hidden and reserved was put to use here, to earn a living or simply for entertainment. This was a part of the mutant world thriving with activity, yet unnoticed.

Yesterday, I was a part of the X-Men – a part of a fight that made the headlines everyday, the fight that made our President sleep sleepless. Today, I was in a smaller, more intricate part of the same mutant world where people ate, slept and enjoyed normally in a world created by them, without the fear of cops cornering them down.

It was a wonder how much I didn't know until now. At the Mansion, I had… a narrow mind. When I woke up each day, I wanted to live it pass somehow, and still keep breathing by the end of it. Here, it was much the same… only, I felt a little relieved. Numb, but relieved.

I was still under the shock of what Logan did to me. I felt sort of… incomplete and broken. As if I couldn't be mended anymore. But then, I finally knew what Logan actually felt for me and now, I wasn't just hanging in the air, the reason that I was relieved for. Complicated, I know.

I sighed and looked up at the sky. We were protected here. Sally, Leslie's grandmother, was a mutant who first came up with the idea to how best protect this place and give mutants a chance at hiding and living undiscovered. She had put a sort of illusion on this place which made people outside think this was an abandoned area, wrecked and torn down. Only, once you stepped beyond a certain threshold and said a certain set of words did you unlock the place, which was a secret known only to Leslie.

First, I thought I was being tricked into a place I'd regret going, the first time I met Leslie. Then, I saw what he was offering, something which was better than what I had been served in a while. So, I took it gratefully. I mean, who could blame me? The government had practically started rounding up the mutants in the days of the cure, a proof that it was anti–mutant. And to go on without the slightest fear in your heart, a sense of security that I had come to feel only with Professor or Logan, here with Leslie in a few days… there was something to be said about it.

Over it, the fact that an underground fight club met here every other day to fight to win, in bright sunlight, under everybody's nose, was a real slap right in the government's face, without them even knowing.

Mutants were a part of this human world and being in minority, not many were satisfied with the whole arrangement of politics in the world. A part of mutants joined Eric and similar people like him, who lead to try and bring the rule of mutants with the Mutant Wars – to fight the unfair system of government. A larger part of the mutants, however, chose to neither side with anyone in the Wars. They lived their lives secretly – the normal way, hiding their identity.

Yet, a part of mutants formed a part of taking pride in who they were by participating in things like what we had here – like what Leslie's Dad created. It was a sort of secret society that hosted tournaments between mutants, recreationally. The awards to winners were generous enough to get any mutant to fight opponents with serious competition in mind.

It was kind of fun to think of a life this way. Leslie had about eight mutants now, who joined him in fighting on his side, including me. Though, I wasn't essentially fighting, I knew the basics. Leslie had a hunch that if I got my powers back, nobody would stand a chance against me. I, who knew better, knew that I stood no chance against people with psychic abilities – like Eve – who didn't even require touch to topple their enemies over like bowling pins.

Tonight, I was standing in the bleachers quietly, among a cheering crowd yet again, looking at the two men fighting a hand-to-hand combat, a bit awestruck. What was special about today was that the two hardly clothed men, who were at least the weight of me put five times each, were fighting and neither was backing down for the past hour. They were huge as boulders and sweating like hell, while each tried to kick the other down into the cemented ground, which would award a sure week in a hospital to whoever was to lose the match.

I reached Leslie, popcorn in my hand, while Leslie cheered with his hands in the air, his mouth wide open. It was a wonder how mutants like the ones fighting here went into crowds undetected. I looked back at them. Yep, if I saw them walking down an alley, no wonder I wouldn't raise a finger. Even if I _do_ find something off about them. Well, these guys were dangerous and huge...

I smiled at Leslie, who had become a sort of best friend for me now. "Come on, Les," I said, chewing on my popcorn. "It's only the hundredth time we've been here and since you're the guy whose Dad actually created this thing, you should have been over this…I don't know – _years _ago? Yet, you still are the same as ever."

Leslie took a handful of popcorn from me, without permission, making me smile, reminding me of Logan.

It was a wonder how I could say Logan's name without feeling anything but a slight pang of sadness. I had already cried nights over him. And now…

There was nothing for him.

Almost nothing.

Leslie put all of those popcorns in his mouth at once, scrunching while watching at the two men in death–grip all the while. I shook my head, smiling again.

Leslie looked over at me, and said, in a hurt voice, "And the fact that you are not in the least mesmerized by these great–"

"Sweating and obnoxiously large–" I added.

"–fighters," Leslie said, throwing me an evil eye, "Is a real disappointment, Rogue. I mean, look down the row. Why aren't you enjoying?" – Les said, nodding to the other end.

I followed Leslie's line of vision and spotted Eve involved in heavy snogging with her boyfriend, Marcus, which was really a wonder given that the crowd was so loud that going on the way they were looked like a real achievement.

Besides them, at least half a dozen other mutants from Leslie's mansion cheered along with the crowd. Shaggy, Goofy, Behemoth and Poseidon – were actually lined with all sorts of posters and stuff that I only laughed at when I first saw. But since I had been a witness to this so many times now, the funny part sort of felt creepy now.

Shaggy was the mutant who could transform into and attack like a real wolf. Goofy could stretch like elastic bending around enemies, always untouchable. Behemoth could turn into a boulder, rock hard, which was quite painful on impact and Poseidon, who as the name suggests, could control the flow of water and other liquids.

Apart from them, Juno sat quite peacefully at the end, watching everything. Juno was the mutant who could make people fall in love. Really. One look and she could make you run after anyone. However, it was only temporary, lasting a day, maybe two. She could make it go more than that, but she said she never tried because it took a lot of her powers. Anyway, with an opponent, you only needed a while to make them realize that they love you and lose for you. She had actually tried this on Leslie during her first practice. She made him think he loved her and then he simply stepped out of the competition for her sake.

The effect of her love only lasted until he said it. Then, he realized what he had said and smiled, taking Juno in with us. Since then, Juno has won every fight without even trying to hit her opponent.

Apart from that, Juno could also tell things about love – love prediction and stuff. For example, she was the first one who told me that Marcus and Eve would end up marrying even though they'd both cheat on one another, never confessing it to one another, and go on like that for a lifetime, happily. I kind of believed that now as I eyed them kissing one another, Eve occupying a comfortable position in Marcus's lap.

Juno was the only one I had ended up befriending in Leslie's big mansion, apart from himself. I had cordial relations with others, but it was just them both whom I really considered my friends.

Juno was quiet and smiled rarely. But when she did, it was one of those smiled that made your day. Other than that, she was a great listener and gave great advices. Leslie was… well, Leslie. He could make you smile, smack him and hug him all at once. He was a funny, flirty guy, who would get away with anything because of his looks.

Yes, she knew about me and…_him_. That's because she…just sort of knew even before I told her that. She knew about things like that. But Juno wouldn't ever tell me my love future. She said it was exciting that way. Besides that, she didn't even know the future of her love life. She got a bit exasperated by it, but she thought the same thing about herself. Love was exciting when you didn't know anything about it.

Lately, I was seeing the other side of Leslie. A more protective one. From the first time I mentioned it, Leslie hadn't read even a thought of mine. Or at least he hadn't for as far as I knew. He had saved me from my act of foolishness with Marcus and saved from several fights with my inmates. And somehow… I kind of liked it.

I shrugged, looking back at the fighters. Nothing interested me these days. I didn't feel satisfied in anything. I felt just… blank.

"I think, I'm going to leave after this fight," I said, chewing more popcorn.

"What?" Leslie looked over at me, offended. "There are still two more fights to go. And then, Eve's fight is up next!"

"Which, she would undoubtedly win," I told him, looking over at Eve again. She was now falling over Marcus, who had an arm around her. "Really, Les, I need go back."

"Come on, Rogue? For me?"

I smiled, defeated at once because of his puppy–dog–face. "You are one heck of a bully," I said, sitting down and extending my popcorn towards him.

One of the guys was falling down now, the leaner one in comparision, when Leslie got up and winked at me.

I smiled, knowing what he was about to do.

He went up to Marcus and Eve and wrenched them apart forcefully. They both looked at him angrily.

"What?" Eve said.

Only Eve got away with back–talking to Leslie. Reason? She was a distant cousin of his.

"Get off. You fight next."

Obviously, they weren't on good terms owing to the fact that Leslie's Dad was a millionaire and Eve had lost both of them along with everything they ever owned. Eve's Dad was into cards a lot, and lost everything.

"Yeah, whatever," she said, sliding of Marcus and straightening her skirt. Then, she sat back beside him, looking at the fight as if nothing had happened.

Leslie came back to sit next to me, followed by Marcus, who settled down in a seat next to me, on my other side, which was unfortunately unoccupied.

Okay, Marcus was… just not somebody I was comfortable with. He was an outrageous flirt and he had gotten over my defenses a couple of times now, already. Not that I kissed him or anything. Just that that sweet and handsome face got me babbling like a baby. I just hated that fact about him. And then, his mutant abilities were way too severe for me to adjust too. He had the ability to see into others weakness and strike them full. He was basically with Leslie because he could spot an opponent's Achilles heel. This kind of looked like cheating but supposedly other 'sponsors' like Leslie, had people like Marcus up their sleeves too.

I looked at Leslie who didn't look as happy now, as before and was eyeing Marcus with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Marcus asked, raising his hands in surrender. "I'm just putting some distance between me and Eve. You don't want to see us sucking faces again, do you?"

Yeah, Leslie's Achilles heel? It was Eve. And Marcus took full advantage of that situation.

I glared at Marcus. "Shut up," I said, in a low warning voice as Leslie got up to announce the next fight. The fight was finally over and he gave me a look of concern. Throwing a glare at Marcus, he got down to the arena and look back at us, a mike in his hand, talking rapidly.

"Or what? You'll do what?"

I glared at him some more. "You don't want to see me when I get my powers back, Marcus. You'll be the first man I'd want dead. And it'll take just a second. I'll just have to hold on to that yabbering mouth of yours, and woosh. We'll have a powdered Marcus."

Marcus's smile faltered but he looked right back. "Wouldn't you want that? To hold on to my mouth?"

I looked at him, disgusted. "In your dreams." I eyed Eve, who was standing next to Les. "You just got off her! I swear you go from one girl to next––"

"So, now it's my fault that I'm so gorgeous?" He interrupted me, smiling.

"I hate," I said, looking over at him, "Over confident asses like you."

"Really?" Marcus said, smirking. "Only a couple weeks ago, I swear you were about to kiss me."

"What?" I said, looking up at him. "Right," I scoffed.

Okay, maybe I was lying. Slightly. God, I was drunk, okay?

"Come on," He said, smiling. God, this guy had freaking dimples on his cheeks and his teeth were unusually white. "Back at that old bar? Where you almost went back to the room I hired for the night?"

"Shut up," I snapped. "I was drunk. I foolishly trusted you. I would have trusted Shaggy in his wolf form back then."

Thank God for Leslie who saw us leaving in nick of time. I swear I never got _that_ drunk so soon.

"Right," he smiled.

"Will you leave me alone already?" I said, annoyed. "Go bug somebody else."

"But you're the most fun to bug!" He whined in a kid's voice. Suddenly, his ears were next to mine. "You know Rogue what's your weakness?"

I looked up at him, suddenly a wee bit excited to know. "What?" I asked.

"Oh, so you want to know that, don't you?"

I gaped at him. Wow. This guy sucked big time.

"No, I don't actually," I said, turning to look at Leslie.

"Come on, aren't you excited to know, huh?"

I looked back at him. He was smiling smugly at me. I sighed at looked back at Leslie who introduced Eve's opponent, a girl with chocolate–brown skin, who was thin and lean, but exceptionally long, almost like a tall pole.

Now, Leslie was climbing back up to us.

"Logan," Marcus whispered in my ear suddenly, his breath caressing my ear. when I almost jumped out of my seat, my heart beating wildly.

"What?" I said, horrified.

"I don't know who he is," he said, smiling. "But he's it. He's your weakness."

I gulped looking down at his smug face. I felt my face heat up and all I could feel was my rage for this guy. I didn't know but suddenly, I wanted to hit Marcus so hard that––

"He left you, didn't he?"

"Shut up," I growled in a low voice.

"He left you alone. I'm guessing for another girl."

I glared at him, feeling my eyes glaze over. I shut my eyes, feeling **heat** rise up to my hands. Oh no, it wasn't happening. Not now.

"Was she beautiful?" He asked, a smile in his voice. "More beautiful than you?"

Before I could open my eyes, I heard the sound of tumbling of a few chairs all together. I looked up to see Marcus lying in a mass of chairs.

"Calm down, Rogue," I heard a voice beside me and a hand slid around my waist.

I breathed deeply before looking at Leslie who was still looking at me.

"Calm down," he whispered again, looking at me.

I nodded. I wanted to leave. Now.

"I'm leaving," I said, getting out of his grip on my waist. I touched his fingers and I saw a certain flash of scenes.

_Leslie crying over a dead woman bleeding profoundly, urging her to wake up, Leslie beside Eve, both hugging. Eve looked a mere five–year old kid. A man, hugging Leslie, then patting his head…_

Then, I was back into the present. I was hyperventilating when I got out, leaving behind a Leslie who had several small scars on his arms.

I couldn't think but I was walking on. I couldn't see but I was walking. I couldn't hear but I was walking.

I smashed into a guy, who gasped as I saw his memories swirl in my head.

_Playing basketball with a blonde girl in the rain, kissing her deeply, holding her hand in the car, while he drove, gazing deeply into his eyes…_

I collided with another guy, who shrank back. More memories.

_A car crash… blood, dead woman. He was crying now. "Wake up Marge!" He shouted, crying…Then, a fight with a man. "You don't understand anything!" he shouted…_

I cried in pain as I felt as my head had split open. I couldn't see, couldn't breathe and I felt around for support, trying to hold on to anything.

I fell on my knees, tears in my eyes. It hurt. My head hurt badly. I clutched my head hard.

Then, I felt hands around me. Hands that pulled me up, tugging at my shoulders.

But before I could say or do anything, a voice in my head exploded.

"Say your last words, Rogue."

And I gasped at the familiarity in them.

It was Jean.

Jean.

I felt more hands now. My eyes were shut. They were saying something but I couldn't hear it above the pain in my head. And then, there was a loud blast of noise as I fell down, holding my head.

Pain, so much pain.

I balled into myself, trying to hold on, trying to control the pain. But it was so much.

I screamed involuntarily, clutching my head. I felt the tears falling down my eyes, as they left wet, warm and salty trails. I kicked around, wildly as hands tried to hold me down, pin me down. But I kicked them and soon they were all off me.

More memories.

_Eve crying beside the same woman I saw earlier. Eve throwing everything around, shouting crying, bawling…_

_Marcus kissing a black–haired girl, pushing her into the wall. With one pull, the blue dress fell off her shoulder and he kissed her shoulder, as she moaned…_

_Juno smiling at a guy. He looked back with a smile. He was wearing a black tux and there were lights all around… Bright shining lights._

_Lights that hurt my eyes._

Then, there was a huge sound, above all my pain, loud deafening sound. As if…

A bomb. A bomb had exploded somewhere.

But then, my head hurt more. I cried loudly, thrashing around my legs and arms. The pain intensified and I felt myself floating. No hardness of the pavement, no nothing. Just air.

And then, I felt a final pang of pain, so intense that it defeated everything else. All thoughts left me and all I could so was scream to stop it.

"Stop it!" I cried, as I felt myself drifting off. "Stop it, please! Make it stop!"

And then, I lost my consciousness.

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><p><em>So, did you like it? Review and tell me! :D<em>

_Was it too intense? We are coming to the **climax** of the story. Tell me what you think. More action will be up in the next chapter. You'll understand everything then. A lot of the story is based on the next chapter._


	11. The Red Headed Doctor

_New update! Thanks to Triciaxy for telling me about those corrections, I'll definitely correct them soon. Thanks to everybody else who are putting this story on their favorites/alerts and also to Mahwash, Sue Doe Nyhm, Beater101, SharkGurl, tanya2byour21, Laani, Isabella94 and tanya2byour21. I checked on my story stats here in fanficton and found out that UK is my top reader. Yay UK! :D_

_No, really, all the others are great too. Personally, I'm not from UK. So. (Although I plan to visit it someday.)_

_Anyway, I hope all those who are reading this and NOT reviewing would review it once this fic ends. I'm expecting a growth spurt in my review then. Don't disappoint me!_

_Okay, about the story, I know I promised you the things that would help you understand the story better in this chapter, but slight change, that's the next chapter. I hope you can wait for the next update which has all that._

_I'm actually experiencing writer's block but the feedback from this story is enormous (come check my mail) and I intend to finish this one, definitely. But bear with me and stay with me with all my moods. (Haha.) _

_Question 1. – Do you want a little PG–13 stuff in this? Because it's bound to come up soon. (What does that mean? Tell me.) Not too mature though. I think. But I don't know what I might come up with._

_Question 2. – Who all are on wattpad? It's a great place to be. Although the reviewers there are a real pain. Why? They don't review! Unlike you guys. You rock!_

_Question 3. – Did you select this fic __basically__ because (a) it's a X–Men fic (b) It's a Rogan fic (c) It's a romance fic? (With some action. Its slow in that department but trust me, the romance is definitely there. Ahead.)_

_Question 4. _– How many of you like Meg Cabot's Mediator series?__

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><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>

**The Red-Headed Doctor**

**Mystique' PoV**

.

.

Logan was sitting beside me, sipping his beer while I chugged down my martini in one go. And then, I ordered another one.

This place was a creep. I didn't like it one bit. No sexy bartenders, no cute regulars. This was just one doomed bar.

Only good thing was this passable bartender, who looked about twenty–six and was currently eyeing me from the corner of his eyes.

"So?" I asked Logan, raising an eyebrow at him.

I had slipped my number to Logan not long after I figured out where Rogue was. As a message to the motel he was staying in. Obviously, I didn't' want to see his face more than I had to.

It wasn't hard to find her with a locator by my side. This locator, as the name suggests, had the mutant ability to track anyone down by touching something that belonged to them. I had these earrings and watch that belonged to her, brought from the hospital which Rogue left there.

This talent in mutants was rare and Mark, the locator, was hard to track down at first. But you can always get what you want if you try hard enough. Plus points? If you have stayed under Eric's wings for a while and of course… if you are Mystique.

I smiled to myself as I saw how uncomfortable Logan was. This was our first encounter since the hospital that morning and I knew Logan had left no stone unturned to figure out where Rogue was. If only he could get his way this time _that _easily. With Rogue and Logan, Rogue would always win just because Logan had fallen hard enough for her to let her win. Why? 'Cause she was only one who could pierce the walls that he had built around himself.

I sighed. I was proud of my Marie in more ways than I could think. She was everything that I wanted her to be and… more.

"So what?" He growled. "You tell me where she is and we and find her."

"Right," I answered sarcastically. "As if it's that simple."

"What do you mean?" He asked, bending forward a bit.

"Look Logan. If you didn't know this before, well, let me enlighten you. Rogue is self sufficient. She doesn't need you anymore. She has found others."

"What others?" He asked, anger plain of his face, along with slight confusion and irritation.

"She found this guy and she's happy with him."

"What?" He asked, her eyebrows furrowing together.

"Yeah well," I smiled, enjoying torturing the poor bloke. Come on, he deserved it. He took months to answer me! "And she trusts him. And there's this girl, Juno. Who can make people fall in love. So."

"What exactly do you mean by this?"

"I mean that, she's happy, let her be."

He lay back on his chair, a frown on his face, sipping his bear again, not answering. My martini arrived and I smiled at the bartender, making him stop in his tracks for a minute as he looked back at Natalie Sherman, local television star.

"Are you Natalie?" He asked, a casual grin on his face with a hint of excitement.

"Of course, darling," I replied, smiling.

"I thought you had a shoot downtown."

"Well, you thought wrong," I replied, adding in a dazzling smile.

"Um," he faltered, clearly staring at my cleavage, visible slightly under the blue shirt I wore. His eyes shot back up and he blushed prettily when I caught his staring. "Can I get an autograph?"

"Where?" I asked, playing along, bending ahead. He was sort of cute in a puppy dog sort of way. I could definitely use him tonight. And probably hear about Natalie's affair in newspaper tomorrow. I smiled even more. I liked fire the way Mystique lit it.

"Oh stop it," Logan growled. "Flirt on your own time."

He shot the guy a glare which made him leave my side like a bullet putting in a 'See you later' to me.

"Logan, you are no fun," I said, pouting. I knew this look looked a picture of innocence on Natalie. "Now I know why Rogue prefers Leslie."

"Leslie?" He asked, the lines on his forehead burying deeper.

"He's more fun than you are. Light headed and good–natured flirt."

"Now who's he?" He asked, irritated.

"The guy I told you about. Rogue's dear friend? He has an ability to read mind. And currently, he pays Rogue for her services."

Logan was out of his chair and on my throat in a second, making me choke while I laughed on inside at his stupidity. Several faces turned our way and the bartender guy was back again, puling Logan's hand off my throat along with half a dozen others.

"Leave her, you murderer!" Cried a batty old lady and hit Logan with her bag right on his face.

Thrice.

Ouch. That big brown bag seemed heavy.

Logan was pushed away and out of the bar while I coughed and told everybody to relax, smiling inwardly. I finished the round of free martini that the bartender, Brad, offered me. Then, in a couple minutes, I ditched the bar, with Brad's number in my pocket, finding Logan just across the street a little way ahead. I motioned him to follow me.

"You loved that, didn't you?" He asked, keeping up with my pace without any difficulty.

"You bet," I smiled up at him.

"What did you mean? About what you said back at the bar?" He asked in a voice that was barely controlled from rising above the level that's normal. His eyes were fixed on the ground below as I lead him to my car.

"About Rogue and her services?"

I saw him gulp visibly and his fists clenched as he looked at me and glared.

I sat down in, as Logan followed me, and turned the keys in the ignition. The green bug sprung back to life and I brought it on road.

"It's your mistake. _You_ got it wrong," I shrugged. Then, I added, "She joined him because he she works for him."

"I got that. What kind of work?" He asked, a whole minute later.

"She helps him handle the stupid army he's building up."

"Army?"

"More like a group. They fight for entertainment. Earn their living that way."

"You mean Rogue fights other mutants? Her powers… came back? But even then… wouldn't that be a problem for her? I mean, she'd be absorbing everybody. Too many minds in her head."

"No, she doesn't fight, exactly. And her powers aren't back. She helps Leslie take care of business and handle the people on his group."

"And… what's the nature of her relationship with this… guy?"

"She likes him."

"She does?" He asked, sitting up straighter.

"As a friend. Though Leslie obviously doesn't have the same opinion about her. The way he eyes her."

I heard a low growl beside me and smiled with satisfaction. This at least was the truth. Leslie had shown interest in Rogue, but she bluntly denied even seeing it.

I added another one, "Though this other guy… he has even tried a move on her."

"What guy?" Logan groaned now.

"His name is Mike something…" I liked playing with Logan. "No, Michael? Naah. Marcus. Yeah, Marcus. Quite a piece of cake, that one."

"And…?"

"And he got her drunk on something, tricked her to this motel room."

"And you let it happen?" He asked, angrily. Next, his anger made him incoherent as I enjoyed watching him from the side of my eye. "You let… she… him… how?"

He clutched the dashboard for support. His face was a mask of fury, worry and disappointment.

"Don't worry," I said, at last, after counting up to two minutes. "It didn't happen. Leslie guy saved her. Yay!"

Logan looked at me with disbelief, her eyes full of anger, her mouth pulled into a frown of disgust.

"How can you do this to me?" He asked, with that expression.

"Its fun," I replied, swerving the car right. "I love to see that shock and disappointment on your face. Gives me an upper hand."

"Damn, I deserve it," he said, burying his head in his hands.

"Sure you do. It took you four months to decide you loved her?" I asked, throwing in a hint of shock for the effect.

He sighed and didn't answer, staring out of the window.

I continued with my story. "Leslie's ancestor started this. Pooled in mutants from everywhere, every background. Some are doctor, others workmen from masonry. There are firefighters, teachers and even students. All undercover. They fight for the prize that Leslie decides. His own party of mutants fight these guys. Its like, defeat my mutants and take the prize. Hardly anyone wins. But even then, it's popular like crazy. It's like Takeshi's Castle. Nobody wins it and yet, they thrill in it. Though I don't know what crazy would pay fifty bucks each time just to lose."

I shook my head. "Rogue helps Leslie take care of everybody until her powers return and then, she can fight herself."

"And she'd do it? Fight mutants for Leslie?" He asked, raising his head.

"He found her soon after she ditched us. She paid the remaining hospital bills. She must have been broke. That guy saved her. She's indebted to him." For good measure, I added, "And they have quite a chemistry. They practically live in the same house."

He growled in warning. I chuckled in return.

"And… she's happy?" He asked, in the smallest voice I had heard him use yet.

I looked at him twice while driving before answering this one truthfully. "As happy as she can be without you."

He sighed again, turning his gaze outside.

"But she has good friends there," I informed him. "They take care of her. Juno, the girl? She's like Jubilee part two. Only more silent and tolerable."

He chuckled slowly. I looked at him and my lips curved up. It was nice to hear him laugh like that. But this guy seriously deserved so much worse for what all he gave to Rogue.

"And how did you find her?" He asked next.

"After giving you that incredible lecture and those satisfying kicks, I turned up at this locator's house. He helped me. Then, I simply kept an eye on her. She lives nearby. But with Leslie, these guys are hard to spot."

"Why?"

"They cloak their work. Looks like an abandoned place from outside. Inside its all lavish and huge. Some mutant helped. It's an unbelievable work, actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. This place houses hundreds of people and nobody ever knows about it. Well, it's practically in this forest. But I sneaked in."

I smiled at his raised eyebrow.

"That's why you couldn't find her," I told him and he looked at me before finally resting his gaze ahead.

I decided against it, but blurted out in the very last second, "Logan, you're not going to hurt her, right?"

He looked at me for the longest minute before answering. "I've already screwed this up. And if I'm what Marie wants, and believe me, I've wanted it for the longest time, I'm ready for it. And I'll not screw it up this time."

"What if she doesn't accept you?"

"She will," he answered in a definite voice.

"What if–"

"I'll make her see."

"What if–"

"There won't be 'what if's' anymore Mystique. I'm done with them for a lifetime. I know that she can't live without me. She can hit me, kick me, for doing all that, but, I won't let her go this time. I don't want some Lesbian guy strolling in and taking her away with him. Or a Remy. I've had too much. She'll have to agree."

I smiled. "Well done, kid. You might be learning something from me."

Suddenly, I heard faint sirens of ambulance. We focused ahead and I stopped the car a little way away from the scene.

All sorts of ambulances, police cars and people were lining ahead. The other side, I could see small pools of blood and pieces of burning stuff. Burning car pieces, a tire, metal. Broken glass was all over the place. But it was confined only to one corner. A large corner.

A fire engine was lined up, throwing water everywhere. A lot of thing was calmed but still things were spread around lit on fire.

"What happened?" I asked, looking at Logan who obviously didn't know a thing. "That's just three blocks away from Rogue!" I shouted getting off and Logan followed me.

There were men and woman moving around, holding walkie–talkie things in their hands and talking urgently into it. A horde of people made it difficult for us to move and see.

"What happened?" I asked, cornering a guy in orange vest over his checked shirt and black pants.

"A blast. Bomb blast," he said and moved ahead.

"Are people hurt?" Logan asked, holding that guy's shoulders and bringing him back in front of us. "Is anyone hurt?"

"Yes," He answered. "It blew up out of nowhere. Some people are injured but nobody has really serious injury. Everything is mostly fine. It was almost as if it was a sort of warning. Because nobody was really hurt. It blew up in a lonely corner. But the noise? It was huge."

Then, the guy was gone.

"A warning?" Logan looked at me worriedly.

I looked back at the peoples' back who lined the place, held back by the cops. "This is so much of a coincidence. A whole horde of mutants meets just two blocks away!"

"We need to get to Rogue fast!" He said, looking at me and I nodded.

"But how? This place, it's covered. They won't let us pass!"

"What's the other way out?" He asked.

"That'll take time!" I said, frustrated. Suddenly, I got it. Then, I smiled, slowly. "Oh, wait up."

I ducked behind an ambulance and out of sight and changed into the uniform of a cop with a face of Miranda Owens, a well known police officer in the whole state.

I came back, got a hold of Logan and pushed him ahead with me, with an expression of superiority. The news channels were starting to arrive by now and the whole place was packed. I hoped I didn't get caught on the camera.

But then, does it matter?

"What are you doing?" Logan muttered as I pushed people apart with as much strength as I could muster.

I didn't answer him. Rather, a cop answered him with a salute to me.

"Madam? What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I am doing?" I asked, frowning. "What happened here?"

"A blast ma'am," he answered. "No visible source. The C.S.U is going to arrive soon."

"No visible source?" I muttered. Mutant work.

I nodded at Logan.

"Look," I said, looking him straight in the eye. "I'm in the middle of a very important case. I need to pass with this man to the other block. This guy is a suspect and he's leading me to a crime scene. Serious business."

"Yes, you can pass," he said, giving us way. "Your car?"

"We're sort of undercover. We're going to keep it low. Left my car a block away."

He nodded letting us pass. Other people either looked at me in awe or saluted me, giving way to us both. Once we were out of sight, I changed back to Natalie.

"Impressive work," Logan commented as I finally let him go. "Now, where is she?"

"Follow me," I said, leading the way.

A couple of minutes later I suddenly spotted Leslie talking to a couple of his mutant friends.

"That's Leslie!" I muttered, walking up to him.

"Hey, uh," I faltered for the first time. What was I supposed to say? "You guys know… Rogue?"

"Are you Natalie Sherman?" Marcus asked. I chose to ignore him.

Closer up, I found Leslie had scars on his hand and a couple on his face. Same with Eve and Marcus.

"What happened to you guys?" I asked, looking them up and down.

"Ro–" Eve began when Leslie cut him off.

"Nothing. We had an accident. That… bomb blast there."

"Oh." Then, I looked up back at him. "Where is… Rogue?"

"You know her?" He asked, stepping forward.

"Yeah," I said. "She's a friend of mine. And I know that you are mutants." I extended my hand turning it my natural skin color, a faint blue for the minutest of seconds.

Leslie looked at me impressed. "Wow. You're a mutant too?"

I nodded. "And I don't usually look like Natalie Sherman. Now, where's Rogue? This is urgent."

"Uh," he looked back at Eve and then at me. "Rogue fell unconscious just minutes ago. She _gave _us these scars when we touched her. I don't know what happened." He shook his head. "But then, this mutant came up, said she specialized in medicine and that she'd take her to her home and treat her. Her car was small so, just Juno went in with them. We're going to go to that address now."

"Okay. What's the address?" I asked.

"You can come with us. Let's go."

I nodded, motioning Logan to follow us.

"Your name?" Leslie asked.

"Mystique," I supplied.

"I'm Leslie," he extended his hand.

"I know," I said taking his hand and then, following him.

He smiled and tapped his head. "I knew too."

"And that's… Logan," I said, introducing them.

"Seriously?" Marcus suddenly said, looking at Logan as if he was seeing him for the first time.

"Seriously," Logan growled at him, before following me.

"I'm Marcus," Marcus said, thrusting his hand into Logan's.

I walked forward, following Leslie. A minute later, we heard a loud shriek from Marcus. I looked back and found him trying to wrench his hand away from Logan. Leslie was suddenly beside Logan, looking up at him.

"Logan, let him go!" I scolded him, laughing all the while.

He let go and we got into the minivan that Eve brought up in front of us a couple minutes later.

Ten minutes later, we pulled up in front of an abandoned house. Ivy was crawling up its walls and dust had settled over the door, visible even from far off. The trees were crooked and bent into each other, growing wildly in a huge garden with the grass long dead.

"What's this?" Logan growled from beside me.

"That's the address!" Eve said, defending herself and getting out of the thing they called a vehicle.

I got out looking around. "Ask people around. Maybe we got the wrong address."

After five minutes of looking around and asking two passing people, we were sure it was the address that the _supposed _doctor had given us.

"Now, begins our trouble," I muttered, leaning against the minivan.

"What did this doctor look like?" Logan asked Leslie from where he stood in the middle of the road. Even the road looked like it hadn't seen vehicles in months.

"Red headed, about five eight? Fair, good looking. Probably early thirties?" Marcus answered instead.

Logan and Eve both threw him a glare. Then, Logan looked at me.

"There are a lot of people fitting that description," I answered his glance. "Anything specific?" I asked Marcus.

He shook his head, followed by Marcus and Eve.

"Great," I muttered. "Time to call in a favor from old Mark again."

"The locator?" Logan asked.

"The locator," I confirmed. "Lucky I got his number, huh?"

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><p><em>So, what do you think? Review! Keep me going. :D<em>


	12. I'm here You're safe

_Hey, guys! :D New update! Shorter than rest of my updates, but I think this should be interesting._

_Okay, this one is like THE CHAPTER. I've tried to explain everything that happened before over here. I think there'd be questions about my logic, so feel free to ask any questions. I'v been trying to make this story as realistic as I can, but of course, there could be mistakes in my logic/concept. SO tell me if you find any fault. _

_Thanks for your replies. You all make me smile. :)_

_Fact - This story has only a couple more chapters left, I think. Then, there'd be an Epilogue. But I'm not too sure because if I suddenly come up with a new idea during my next update, I could probably stretch this longer. Tell me about any ideas that you have. I might write a sequel if I find an idea good enough to transform into a story. At the same time, I'll be keeping my mind open for any new ideas too._

_In answer to my earlier questions and your replies:_

_Wattpad is like fanfiction along with fictionpress, so that you can post your original stories as well as fan-fiction. Also, you can see use it on your phones too. Not that you can't see fanfiction on phones, but you have this wattpad software so it makes stuff easier. And its not necessarily for iphone/blackberry. I have a Samsung phone and wattpad software works on it as well._

_Although, I think I don't like wattpad as much as I initially did..._

_And you guys don't know Meg Cabot? She's like my favorite author/idol out there. Please go and read her Mediator series! They are awesome! :P_

_She's even famous for her Princess Diaries series, but I liked her Mediator series more. I've already read them all at least twice. And now, I'm thinking bout writing a story based on the Mediator Series, a fanfiction._

_Really, she has written on everything there is to write about - romance, mystery, supernatural (vampires/ghosts). Now, she's even writing something on Egyptian mythology (Abandon, I think is the name of her book), something that has interested me long since._

_She writes for teenagers, young adults as well as adults. I, for one, have enjoyed all of her stories. Her stories are evergreen that way._

_**Dream of the Night** : I heard that song. Its pretty amazing. I liked the lyrics. I like Linkin Park, but only in a few cases. At other times... I feel like all they are doing is screaming. But that's not always the case. I like a lot of songs by Linkin Park myself. I hope I haven't offended anybody by saying that. That's just my view, so._

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><p>.<p>

**Chapter Twelve**

**I'm here. You're safe.**

.

There was darkness all around me when I got up first. I looked around and couldn't find anything except the solid, rough ground underneath me.

It was cold and I was freezing slightly with only my white wife–beater and green shorts on. Since I didn't have my powers back on, I wore light clothes like these. But it was night and I was freezing in here.

I felt around and could find nothing but the ground. I got up slowly, trying not to fall off because of the slight dizziness that I felt, probably the after effect of my powers coming back on.

With my hands stretched on in front of me, I moved forward, trying to hold on to something but caught only the air.

Finally, after about two minutes of meaningless search, I sat down again, oddly tired. I felt an occasional sting of pain in my head which would go away as soon it would come back again and I was getting a little irritated with it now.

I felt tired as if I had run a very long way. And I wanted to sleep so badly that I swear I almost dozed off for a second back then. But I fought against everything I was feeling and tried to get in control of myself, sitting up straighter.

The last I remember was fainting in the street with everyone around me. With a pang of sorrow I realized that my powers were probably back on. But I tried not to think too much about it. It was supposed to come back some day and better today than tomorrow.

Only, this time when it came back, it was so agonizing. Last time, when I got my powers back after the cure, it was absolutely painless. One night I fell asleep and the next, I had my powers back on. This time however, the pain that I had felt in that alley was worse than any pain that I had suffered so far in my life, which was saying much.

I wanted to get up and look around but I was very tired and instead I lay down feeling a little stifling in this dark place. I tried to think about what exactly was going on and realized suddenly that I had heard Jean's voice before I fell unconscious along with an ear–splitting noise of an explosion.

After about five minutes of lying down, I got up again and tried getting up. I was still a bit unsteady on my feet, but I managed. I tried going in one direction this time to get an idea of how big this place really was. I was slightly panicking now, but I calmed myself again and moved ahead, my hands stretched forwards again.

This was creepy. Did everybody ditch me here in this darkness all alone? Because I could bet Leslie wouldn't have let that happen. Although, maybe Marcus said something and–

Damn. My feet struck something and fell down, scratching my knees against the ground in the process. I sat up, rubbing the sore spot and felt my blood. It was only in a small quantity but it was really hurting now.

I looked around to find what I had struck and felt something like a big boulder, flat on the top, probably used as a sort of make–shift chair?

Great. Anything else that is left to go bad? Where are the lights anyway?

As if on cue, suddenly, all lights in the room came back on and I flinched, covering my eyes. The light was hard after spending the time in utter dark.

First, I looked down at my scabbed knee and saw scratches and a little blood. Nothing much to worry about, I guess. But shit, it hurt. Next, I raised my head and slowly, I looked around, on hand still on my knee.

I was in a big room of some sort. It was huge and spacious, but completely empty. There were some windows and I was guessing that it was some random barn, if the hay that was stacked in one corner was any indication.

A few stairs led up to the upper landing made up of wood, which was clearly visible and obviously empty.

I looked around for the light switches which somebody had obviously switched on, but I couldn't find any. Who switched on the lights then?

Maybe there was a main connection somewhere outside.

I made my way to the huge wooden door when I suddenly felt the sting in my head again and I doubled over in pain, clutching my head and moaning in pain.

A second later, the pain was gone and I found a woman standing in front of me. She looked oddly like Jean and… she was smiling. I had a hard time placing her anywhere in my memory. She had a bit of resemblance to Jean, maybe that nose and mouth and the red hair… but that was it. She wasn't Jean.

Slowly, I got up and couldn't help but look at her accusingly.

"Who are you?" I asked.

The woman didn't answer. I noticed her attire then. She was wearing a doctor's overcoat over a plain blue shirt and jeans, coupled with running shoes.

The next thing I knew, the woman smiled and I heard Jean's voice in my head again.

"Don't you recognize me, Rogue?"

"Jean?" I asked, unsure and disbelieving.

"Wrong!" She said in my head. "It's Phoenix. Jean is long dead."

"But… what… how?" I mumbled, taking an involuntary step back. But suddenly, Jean was standing right in front of me, a hand trailing down the side of my face.

She wasn't speaking, just smiling and yet, I could hear Jean's voice in my head.

"Are you trying to run away? Because it's futile now."

"What?" I asked, intelligently.

She didn't answer, just started circling me.

"How… are you alive?" I asked, trying to fix my gaze at her rotating form. "You were dead. Buried."

"No, Rogue," she answered. "It was just my body that you guys buried. Rather, Jean's. I don't think you people understood that I'm the Phoenix. You cannot kill me. You don't have the power to do it."

"So… you…"

"I borrowed this body. It belonged to Dr. Amy Collins. Now, it belongs to me."

"And…" I gulped. "Where is Dr. Collins?"

"Dead," she said in one whisper that tickled the back of my neck. She was standing right behind me and I shivered involuntarily.

"You killed her?" I asked, turning around to face her.

"I needed her body. She looked oddly like Jean. Believe me, I liked Jean's body but I needed a substitute because of dear Logan. He had to go and backstab me. Trying to kill me!" She laughed, her voice booming across the big barn. "But did he? Did he kill me or… did he just manage to kill my shell? The body that was hindering me?" She smiled again. "I'm thankful to him, you know. He released my true power. Jean's body was only holding me back."

I looked at her, feeling a pang of sorrow. Jean died and her sacrifice wasn't even worth it with Phoenix still alive? God, Logan was…

He'd be destroyed if he ever knew that he when he killed Phoenix, he killed Jean. Not the Phoenix. Because the Phoenix was still alive.

"So you've been going around killing people? Destroying things like you did the last time?" I asked, angry now.

"You know what amazes me?" She asked, sitting down on nothing but air. But really, it was as if she was sitting on a chair or something. She crossed her legs and looked at me. "Oh my, where are my manners? Sit down, Rogue."

"Um, no thanks," I muttered.

"Sit!" She commanded, making me sit down and there I was, sitting in a chair made up of air. I looked around and still saw nothing but air. But whatever it was, it was as solid as a wooden chair.

I felt a sliver of pain up my head again and again that dizziness surrounded me. Blackness clouded my vision for a second, before I shook my head and looked at Jean. No, Phoenix.

She smiled up at me and continued, "It amazes me that… in spite of everything I did, in spite of all the times, I made you hate him, made _him_ hate you… your love for him… it never ceased in being."

"What?" I asked again, shocked and confused. "You did what?"

"What? You thought he wanted to hit you? You thought he wanted to leave you alone at that bar? You thought he didn't care when you cried in that hospital where I arranged for you die?"

I merely looked at her, sitting across from me. She did… How?

"Oh, it was easy," she answered my thoughts yet again. "Logan is special, you know? He's the man I want. The problem is… that he seems to be infatuated to you. I've been trying to make him think about me, make him feel something for me. But damn, it's hard. That guy is loyal."

I didn't even believe this shit. Logan did not like me. He never responded to anything, never dropped a hint and never made me think, even for a second, that he liked me in any way more than a caring father.

Sad, but true.

"That's because he thinks that he's not worthy of you," she replied. "He thinks that you are an innocent little kid. He feels ashamed to even have those dirty thoughts about you because he thinks it's wrong. Because you should have been like a daughter… only, you involved a different kind of emotion in him. You invoked his lust. Every time he saw with your boyfriend, he felt jealous. So, he left you all together. Left you to be happy. To be away from you. Plus, he was mulling over his guilt for killing Jean. Having those thoughts about you… it pushed him on the edge. He left to get rid of your thoughts and then, he came back, all numb. When he didn't find you home… you destroyed everything then. He was trying to forget you, but you had to go and make that difficult for him. Every freaking time."

Only, she didn't say freaking.

My eyes were wide as I tried to come in terms with what she was saying. Logan… he felt attracted to me? How was that possible? He never even… he never showed it.

"He found you," she continued. "At the bar, people staring at you, a cute guy beside you… who could have been everything that you ever wanted. But no… Rogue has to have only the best. And so she gets it. You got the guy that _I_ wanted. He came after you. Only, he still was stuck on his I'm–bad–because–I–think–of–a–kid–that–way thoughts. And then, because of that, you started saying things about me… and Jean. I didn't like it. So, I hit you. Only, you see, hitting a mortal isn't possible without a body. So, I took control of Logan's body. I made him hit you. All he would have seen would be him doing it… but he was under my control. And my, it had the desired effect. You flew off the handle."

I remembered everything all over again as it started playing across my mind. It wasn't Logan. He didn't hit me. It was Jean. Logan would never hit me. He wouldn't…

_._

_"You hit me?" I asked, my eyes wide with disbelief. My hand clutched my face as I felt a sort of heat where Logan had hit me._

_"Yes, I did," he said, sneering at me. "You deserved it. You have no right to talk about _me _like that."_

.

Me? He said me. It was Jean. It was Jean all along!

"You did it," I muttered, looking at her accusingly. "You made me think… you made me question my love for him. How could… I'll kill you!" I shouted, getting up, but with a wave of her hand, I was pushed back into my air–made seat.

"You haven't even gotten to the main part yet, Rogue. Don't forget the bar!" She said, smiling. "It's my personal favorite!"

I looked at her, shocked, confused and angry, all at once.

"Stupid Eric! I made him think about how good it would be to have you on their team. And he was foolish enough to believe. He got Mystique to get you in. That was a mistake, a big one. Mystique was never again the original pawn he believed her to be, after he left her like that, cured of her mutant gene. But they planned well."

I remembered the day Logan and Mystique were explaining all the things to me. I felt a slight headache again while I tried to remember it, as things played in front of my eyes again.

"They got a teleporter. Mystique posed to be me and she went right next to the bar. I just had to push Logan and into running after her, ditching you. It was easy. The teleporter was wearing the same clothes. I was wearing the same clothes. One look, and my face got Logan hooked. It was Mystique… but you see, it was me. My face. He loved me." Her eyes glazed over as I felt disgusted with her. She looked at me moments later.

"I killed the teleporter off. Just snap of my fingers and she was dead, all her life force was transferred in me. And then, Logan was running after me." She sighed. "But I had to disappear into the night too. It was fun to have Logan running after me, but I had to see the other part of the plan too. I had to make sure that you were dead. But no, you escaped even that. I was a little distracted by Logan… and you destroyed my plan meanwhile."

She got up, walking towards me. "I meant to anger Eric and sic Juggernaut on you. He was to kill you. And then, I was late. But you were doing just fine. You angered Eric yourself. And it was going just the way I wanted. Only, you didn't die."

I gulped again, looking at her face. It wasn't at all Jean's, now that I came near enough to see. She obviously had Jean's red hair… in fact, the very same cut. She was just Jean's height. No doubt Logan believed it was Jean. And her smell… he smelled Jean too. Of course! Jean and Phoenix would smell the same.

And yet again… It wasn't his fault that I ended up at the hospital, as I had come to believe. It was Jean all along.

"So… you've been trying to kill me?" I asked in a voice that didn't even feel mine. Stabs of pain were shooting up my head and the rest of my body. I was pushing myself in my attempts to try and stay awake now.

She smirked. "Yes, for a while, I was. And then it struck me. Maybe I wasn't doing this the right way. Because Logan and Mystique… they are a wrong sort of people to mix together. They had a lot of time while you were out and they talked a lot. And Mystique had to go all motherly on you because of your obvious past and tell Logan to confront his feelings for you. And he did."

She said that he confronted his feelings for me… did it mean that he… he liked me now… or even… loved me?

And what did she mean by Mystique being motherly because of my past?

"So… I had to go and solve this problem the other way round. I hatched a new plan. And a new target."

"A new target?" I asked. I wasn't even liking the sound of it. Phoenix was evil, that thing was plain.

"Yeah. Logan was my goal and target earlier. Then, he was my goal and _you_ were my target. But I realized my mistake. For a while, I was targeting you the wrong way. But now… I've got it right."

"How?" I asked, fearing her response.

"I don't want to kill you now Rogue…"

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Actually, the Rogue that you are would be killed. But not your body."

My eyes widened as realization of what Phoenix was trying to do struck me.

"The pain that you're feeling all over? The dizziness? The hazy vision?" I looked at her, my eyes widened. "It's because you're losing your consciousness. You're dying Rogue. And I'm taking over your body. Logan wouldn't even know anything was wrong. I'd be the Phoenix that he'd take for his Marie. Plus, your body won't even hinder my powers. In fact, your body will help me. It'll increase my powers to a substantial amount, along with the fact that… you're not aging… I'll be sort of immortal. And Logan and I… we'd be together forever."

I looked at her aghast. She was… killing me? And what the hell did she mean by me not aging? I was aging…

"No you're not. In fact, you're like this sponge. You're absorbing everybody's powers permanently now. Of course, it has some drawbacks. Like the usual headache, people's memories… but your body is made for me to use. It's like… you were made for me… a perfect fit. Now, I'd have your powers and mine… and believe me… I'll undefeatable."

And that word… undefeatable scared me. Along with the obvious 'You're dying'. God… was this the end? I tried to move, but couldn't. I was tied in thin air.

"Its time," she said, getting up. "This will hurt only a bit. And then… you'll feel a peace that will last forever."

She smiled at me and gripped my head. Then, she placed a hand on each side of my forehead, on my temples, and closed her eyes.

The next second, I heard myself shrieking, wildly loudly. It was a pain like never before. It was as if I was being ripped apart, limb from limb, hand from hand. And I could see her face… Jean's face… Phoenix's face. I was dying and Lord, this pain…

The pain on the sidewalk was only momentary. This was an extended eversion of it. I felt my life–force draining… and I felt limp. She was draining me… pulling me out of my body.

And she'd be the new Rogue. New Marie.

I thrashed wildly, trying to hit anything, trying to free myself from the pain, the end that Dr. Amy Collins had faced. I felt sympathy for her. We'd both end the same way.

I heard somebody calling my name and then, I was thrown in the air. The next thing I knew, there were lips against my forehead, arms around my shoulders that were supporting me. And I heard Logan's assurance, "I'm here, Marie. I'm here. You're safe."

Safe.

Yes, I felt safe in his arms.

I smiled slightly, and I dissolved in his embrace, feeling safe after a long while, at long last.

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><p><em>Tell me what you think about this chapter! Review!<em>


	13. He knew

_Before you ask who the hell is **CindersAndRain** - hey its me! **Rogue061**! :P_

_So, I'm back. Sorry for the long hiatus, but I couldn't help otherwise. College is up next! I was doing shopping and stuff. I start this Wednesday. We have an orientation up then, and then, the classes start from Thursday. I'm really excited! :D  
><em>

_Anyway, I got a new idea. And so, I'm stretching this a bit longer than scheduled. Personally, I like this chapter. You'll know why... when you read it. I'm not disclosing it. I think you all will like it too._

_Thank you for the response! Thanks to serafimdream, Beater101, Isabella94, Sue Doe Nyhm, Laani26, Mahwash, tanya2byour21. Love you all!_

_Also thanks to people who alerted/fav'd this story. You guys rock! (:_

_Special thanks to Mahwash because you gave me a new idea by asking all those questions. I wasn't going to let this body switching happen, but now, it will happen._

_Anyway guys, not wasting anymore of your time, I'll ask you to read on..._

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><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

**He knew**

.

Suddenly, I was jerked away from Logan and pushed away. I opened my eyes in alarm, having fallen down on the floor with brute force. I looked up, confused to see Logan holding…

Me.

Logan was holding me.

Realizing just what had happened, I looked down at myself.

Oh no.

No, this just wasn't possible.

I looked up again.

"I can touch you," Logan whispered to Phoenix, currently resident of my body, holding my body closer to him. "I thought your powers returned?"

"They did. I managed to control it. My mutation," Phoenix whispered back in voice closer to mine than I had anticipated her to use from our earlier talking.

And then, before I could get up and say "Farce!" in her face, they both leaned towards eachother and…

…they kissed.

Shit.

How? When did this happen?

Wasn't I supposed to be dead? How am I in _this_ body? Witnessing… _this_?

I got up again as Phoenix wrapped her hands around Logan, pulling him closer. I felt sick.

And despite my anger at Logan, despite the months that passed during which I cursed myself for falling for Logan, I couldn't help but feel my heart break at the sight of them. I stood up and went up to them, feeling slightly dizzy. And then, before I could stop myself, I shouted out to him, "Logan! Logan don't! That's… that's Phoenix!"

But he didn't even listen to me. Before I could do anything else to bring him to his senses, suddenly, somebody caught me from behind. I looked around to see Mystique looking at me with pure dislike as she enveloped my hands in one of hers and held me closer, restraining me from moving anymore.

"Mystique, that's Phoenix!" I tried to explain it to her. "I'm Rogue. You need to understand. She did some body switching thing and now–"

"Shut up," Mystique told me, looking over at Logan and Phoenix with a smile playing on her lips.

"Listen to me, Mystique. You don't understand. That's–"

Abruptly, another hand – Mystique's hand – enclosed over my mouth, preventive me from speaking further. I struggled against her, finally realizing that they weren't understanding me.

In all my anger at everything, as Logan continued to kiss Phoenix, I bit on Mystique's hand. She pulled it away in a flash. I glared at her as she glared back.

I sighed. She didn't even know. I couldn't be angry at her for that. Sure I was frustrated but that wasn't her fault too.

"Mystique, come on. It's me, Rogue. Don't you get it?" She merely looked at me, while rubbing her hand with disgust evident in her eyes. I turned towards Logan then, who was still kissing me… no, Phoenix.

I gulped for once realizing that for Logan… it was me… kissing him back. I mean, he was kissing me, or intended to do it, anyway. Only, it had ended all wrong. He was kissing Phoenix, taking her for me.

I grew angrier by the second looking at them and before I could stop myself, I stepped up to them and pushed her away from Logan. It required much force than it usually did – I wasn't accustomed to this body – but I managed.

"Stop it!" I screamed at them, my hands on either of their shoulders. "Stop it, please."

I retrieved my hand as Logan turned a glare at me and I couldn't help but freeze in my shoes. This wasn't the glare Logan threw me. Never me. This was his enemy glare. Like the one he threw at his enemies, the one filled with complete disgust and anger. It was 'the glare'. I almost shivered at the thought of what he might do next, when Phoenix spoke up. The Phoenix occupying my body, that is.

"Logan, she hurt me. She… she made it pain like hell."

Logan looked back at Phoenix, taking her in his arms and threw me 'the glare' over her head… uh, my head.

"Who are you?" He spoke up. "You look… strangely like…"

"Jean," Mystique completed his sentence.

"She's Phoenix," came Phoenix's reply. "She told me so herself."

Suddenly Logan stilled. Slowly, he let Phoenix go and looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. Then, he looked at me with confusion coupled with anger. "Phoenix?"

"She didn't die," Phoenix continued. "She survived. Only Jean died that night."

Phoenix threw me a smug smile and looked back at Logan, turning her… my worry eyes at him.

"Logan," I finally began. Even my voice was not my own. It was something higher than what mine was, somehow, more girly. "She's lying. She..." I gulped. "I don't how to explain it. She switched our bodies… souls, whatever. She's the Phoenix. You have got to make her switch our bodies back."

"She's spinning lies!" Phoenix shouted. I turned around to look at Mystique, but I spotted somebody else by the huge doors and suddenly, an idea formed in my head.

"Leslie!" I screamed with joy. He was standing there along with Marcus and Eve. I ignored them both. "Leslie, please read our minds. Tell them that she's Phoenix, the real one. That I'm Rogue. Do it, Leslie. I give you the permission."

Leslie looked from me to Phoenix and back again. He sighed.

"I can't read either of your minds for some reason," he answered dejectedly.

"What?" I asked, crestfallen. "Why not? Why can't you read our minds?" Suddenly, it dawned on me. "Professor!" I shouted. "Professor could do it. He'd know what to do. He'd tell you guys that I'm Rogue."

I ran back to Logan, almost begging to him. "Logan, please. I'm Rogue. We've got to go to Professor Xavier. He'd help us. He'd know what to do."

"Logan, that's Phoenix," Phoenix suddenly said. "We should kill her off now, before she wrecks anymore damage or hurts anybody. She already destroyed the world before. Kill her off before she does it again."

I looked at her with hurt eyes. She wanted Logan to kill me? Could she be anymore cruel?

"You…" I began, but I couldn't finish because I felt a lump in my throat and I was unable to speak anymore. I turned around, looking at the ground when another idea hit me. I turned around again, gulped and voiced it out. "Ask me anything." I turned to Mystique. "You ask me something. I'll answer it. Anything that only you and me are supposed to know."

Mystique narrowed he eyes at me speaking along, "The thing that you're unsure about. About Charles?"

I smiled. "That he didn't help me like he helped Jean. With my powers."

Mystique looked at me, her eyes back to normal, this time with a slight confusion and shock on her face. "Rogue?"

"Yes!" I spoke with great relief. I smiled at her as she took a couple steps towards me.

"Why can't… I remember that?" Phoenix said, behind me. Mystique stilled in her path, looked over my shoulders. I turned around to face Phoenix, who was acting as if she was having a panic attack. "God… Why don't I remember… Oh no…" She looked at me, with my eyes and then at Logan. "Logan she wiped out some of my memories!"

"What?" I asked, shocked. She had another move up her sleeve? She was one quick thinker. And a huge liar. "Now that you're caught, you're–"

"Acting?" She shrieked at me, and then, suddenly, she was strangling me, her hands wrapped around my throat as she shouted, "I'm acting! You… you tried to kill me! You tried to take Logan away from me! What did I ever do to you? Why are you doing this to me?"

I couldn't breathe. I felt stifling as she squeezed harder and I clawed at her hands, all in vain. I tried to say stop, but all that came out was gasps, not clear even to my own ears.

The next second, the pressure relieved and I felt a tremor run through me and I felt a wave of pain hit me. I suddenly realized that she was using my powers on me!

I felt air leaving my lungs as I fell down, her hand still clutching my throat, as my own powers drained my life, pain wrecking my body. I couldn't even struggle anymore and I saw dark spots in my vision. My head was swirling, aching again. I felt pain all over and really… I was tired of all the pain that I was going through lately.

A moment later, everything stopped as I breathed heavily, clutching my throat. I was gasping loudly, inhaling volumes of air through my mouth. Then, I had a fit of cough as Mystique clutched my shoulders, rubbing my back.

After about fifteen minutes, I felt well enough to get up and see Phoenix wrapped in Logan's arms as she was crying a river. Logan was rubbing her shoulders, trying to calm her. I felt sick all over again as I saw Logan whispering words of support in her ears.

"Couldn't you have acted sooner?" I asked Mystique in an accusing tone. "It pained like hell. And she's using my powers on me. She probably has answers to all your questions now."

She glared at me again. "It was only seconds."

Uh, really?

Mystique rounded up on Logan, helping me stand up. "Something is definitely fishy here. Rogue wouldn't react like that. Ever."

"Or maybe she would," Logan said back as Phoenix started crying harder. "She's been under so much, Mystique. Maybe she had a mental breakdown or something."

Mystique looked at Logan with a glare. "If she's really Phoenix…" She looked at me. "Why hasn't she tried to kill us yet? Or maybe tried to wreck some kind of damage? But no. What we should expect out of her… That's exactly what she did," she nodded over to Phoenix. "And she," She looked at me, "She answered me correctly."

"She wiped my memories!" Phoenix shouted, pushing Logan back a bit and looking at me with anger and accusing eyes. "She's playing with us! It's what she does best. Remember Logan," She tuned to Logan, "Remember how she called you to herself? How she made Magneto attack you? When Phoenix first surfaced?"

Logan turned to look at Phoenix sharply. "How would you know that?"

"Uh," Phoenix hesitated for the first time. "I have her memories in my head."

"Yeah, right," Logan nodded his head. "Of course."

Okay, Phoenix was an official lying machine.

"Maybe we should go to Charles first, as she said," Mystique nodded at me. "He'd know the best way to solve this."

"No! We should just finish her off, Logan," Phoenix sidled up to him, splaying a hand over his chest, "Finish her off before she tries to hurt us."

"No," Logan said, calmly, trying to explain Phoenix. "We should go to Professor. He should decide how best to kill off Phoenix. Last time, Adamantium couldn't do it. What are the chances that it would do it now?"

"No!" Phoenix almost shouted. "Try! Kill her now. There's no use to string her along."

"Marie, try and understand. I don't know how to kill her finally," Logan looked at Phoenix. "We should go to Professor. But only to find a way to kill her."

He called her Marie. Why did that make my heart break all over again?

"No, I said it," Phoenix looked at him, blinking her doe eyes, but her voice full of determination. "She makes me feel nervous, Logan. She tried to kill me. She can hurt all of us."

"No, I won't!" I defended myself. "I don't have any powers. This body… I don't even know if I have any powers. This body isn't mine."

Logan looked at me and for a second, I swear I saw something akin to sympathy in his eyes. Then look quickly melted away and got replaced by anger.

"Stop acting!" Phoenix said. "Why are you doing this? I never hurt you in any way… why are you doing this to me and… Logan?"

Mystique answered in stead of me.

"It's final then," Mystique said. "We should take her to Charles."

Then, she turned and left the barn through the front entry, where Leslie and Marcus along with Eve were standing. They all looked confused and followed Mystique one by one. Leslie gave me a pointed look and then left after Marcus.

Phoenix looked at Logan. "Logan, can't you try for once? Maybe she'd die this time and leave us alone finally… You can at least try. For me?"

Logan looked at Phoenix and kissed her square on the lips, churning my stomach. I gulped and looked at them both, feeling like I was going to explode. I felt as if I had lost everything. Even myself.

I looked at Phoenix kissing Logan back eagerly.

I could see myself kissing Logan. My body… my lips.

How long had I wanted this for? How long had I wanted to be actually able to kiss those lips? And now, I was doing it… in a way. And yet, I wasn't.

I sob escaped my lips and I turned away from both of them, following the others out. I couldn't bear this. I couldn't see it.

It was what I had wanted for so long and now… I had it in a way. At least my body was with Logan.

I wasn't.

I felt a couple tears drop off my eyes. Leslie couldn't read my mind. What if Professor–?

No. He would. Professor Xavier was… he was the person I drew my strength from. He wouldn't let me standing off like this. He'd understand who I was and then, he'd make Phoenix swap our bodies. I wanted my body back. I didn't– I looked down at myself. I looked like Jean. I didn't want to be stuck in this body to face mirror everyday and see a Jean's duplicate staring back at me to make me realize what a failure I was. Because I couldn't even keep a hold of my own body. How pathetic was that?

I bet nobody was that much of a failure ever.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed me from behind and I was locked in a stronghold. Logan's hands clutched at my stomach, making me unable to move. He was so close, that I gulped involuntarily. And I knew he heard it for he asked, "Frightened?"

"No," I replied stubbornly, fidgeting under his grasp, trying to make him let go of me. "Isn't Phoenix supposed to be destructive? I mean, you should fear me."

I felt his breath tickling my neck and I shivered slightly, involuntarily stopping all the wiggling that I was doing, as he chuckled. "Me? Afraid?" He let me go, but grasped my wrist. I saw Phoenix smirking at me, clearly enjoying the scene. "You must be dreamin' Phoenix. We're only taking you to Professor to find a way to kill you. I don't believe all the shit you told me. And… if I haven't made myself clear… don't even try to run away."

I gulped again, this time… because I knew Logan didn't understand. And anyway… maybe this was the way it was supposed to end?

God. What did I ever do wrong? First, the guy whom I love doesn't love me back and when he does… its only when I'm not even in my own body. So, he falls for someone completely different.

Even though Phoenix said otherwise… that Logan had feelings for me… and then, Logan did kiss… my lips… admitting to the fact that he did in fact have feelings for me, I won't have my happily ever after.

Now, however, Phoenix was going to enjoy my happily ever after with the guy I loved while the same guy would kill me off, thinking that I'm an enemy.

How can everything become so complicated in so less a time?

It would be like Phoenix said. Logan won't know the difference.

Or wouldn't he? Of course Phoenix is somebody totally different from who I am. And Logan should, essentially, love the person that I am on the inside. So, does this mean that at some point of time… Logan would know his mistake?

But it'd probably be too late. I could probably be dead by then.

But then… there was hope. Professor would find out the real deal and tell everybody the real truth. He would know.

He cannot not know.

Shit, I'm going insane.

"Let me go," I said, struggling against his hold, trying to wriggle my hand out of his grasp. "I'm not running away. I've never been able to outrun you anyway."

Logan smiled at me. A scowling one. "Don't even try to act with me. I'm not going to fall with your dewy eyes or begging hands. You're gong to die today Phoenix. For real."

I continued to stare at Logan. He wouldn't ever know. I felt tears pricking at my eyes but I was willing them to go away. 'Dewy eyes', Ha! He was still going to think that I was trying to trick him with my tears.

I was still fidgeting with his iron–like grip, when I burst out. "You know what, Logan? Every time, I hope… I wish that somehow… this time it would be different. I don't know why I even try because really… I'm tired of it. I'm tired of you… my pathetic life… my stupid powers… Everything." I brought his hands to my throat then, the ones still holding my hand. "Kill me now."

Logan looked at me with sympathetic eyes, his jaw clenched as he drew out his claws. I couldn't understand the sympathy… but then again… Maybe it was because I looked pretty much like Jean, right now.

I felt his pointed claws impossibly close to my throat, when Phoenix shouted from behind. "Do it Logan! Do it!"

But then, he retracted his claws. "No," He told her, whirling around. "We should take her to Professor. I cannot fail this time."

Phoenix looked at Logan with hurt eyes before finally leaving the room.

I turned to follow her, only Logan pulled me back, his grip still tight on my wrist. "No running away!" He said in a slightly higher voice than normal.

"And I told you!" I shouted back. "I'm not–"

But I couldn't complete.

Because suddenly Logan kissed me.

It was only a peck, but I froze all over. Everything stilled as his lips stayed over mine for a fraction of second. My breath hitched as I closed my eyes, shivers running down my body. The fingers of the hand that was clutching mine wrapped around mine, pulling me in. I wanted to clutch him to me and pull him closer, wanting to kiss him fully. But he didn't allow me to do it. He pulled away too quickly for me to even react.

He placed a finger over his lips, indicating me to keep quiet as he tucked a strand of the red hair falling in my eyes… Dr. Collin's eyes, behind my… her right ear.

In answer, I only nodded, still dazed from the feel of his lips on mine. There was definitely alcohol involved before he came here because I could taste it on his lips. My guess? Beer.

And then, he pulled me forward as my heart did somersaults in my chest and my mind screamed at me. Happily.

Because he knew.

Logan knew.

I smiled involuntarily as I heard a gruff, "Start walking," from him.

I followed, still smiling.

Because the first time in so many years, I felt as if everything was going to be alright.

All because… somehow… Logan knew.

.

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><p>So? How was it? Finally, the kiss!<p>

I'm so excited to hear your reviews on this one. Tell me your thoughts!


	14. The Unethical Part of It

_Sorry guys for the long hiatus! I had that writer block thing going on with me and I just couldn't make myself write. Anyway, here is your chapter. I promise, next chapter will be here sooner._

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><p><em>.<em>

**Chapter Fourteen**

**The Unethical Part of It**

.

"No, Logan," Professor Xavier shook his head at Logan. "I cannot read their minds."

Logan, who was standing beside Phoenix, looked at Professor and then back at me. Then, he looked at Phoenix, the current resident of my body as she sat on the chair beside me, with a face of utter sincerity and concern.

I looked back at Professor who was sitting behind the table, his face in complete focus as he looked at Logan.

"I understand," Professor answered. "I understand your concerns. And I know a lot of things because I've been around for quite some long time. But obviously, I cannot know everything."

Then, Professor turned his gaze at me. It was always a surprise to see Professor looking back at me, with a new face, a new voice, but the same old wisdom. I didn't know what exactly had happened… but maybe what happened to him was same as what happened to me? Because just like me… he wasn't in his original body. Though of course, for him, it was a turn for the good. For me… I had just lost my body.

His gaze returned to Logan and then, at Phoenix.

"Rogue?" Professor Xavier suddenly called out.

"Yes?" I asked, while at the same time, Phoenix looked at him and said the same thing.

I looked at her and then, turned to look at Professor, who was smiling at both of us. He looked at Phoenix and then, got up. "Let's have a walk?"

It was a surprise yet again to see Professor being able to walk. A new face, new abilities… However, I felt pained that Professor called Phoenix Rogue. I mean, hello? I'm Rogue! Right beside the intruder!

I've lost my identity and face. Could anything be worse?

"But Professor," Phoenix answered, her voice dripping with fake concern. "Do you think it's safe to leave _her_, here?"

She threw me an evil glare and then, looked back at Professor, her eyes soft and full of shit. God, she acted pretty well.

I gulped as Professor smiled and replied. "I'm sure Logan can handle himself… the others too?" He ended it in a question, looking at Logan, who nodded, then at Mystique.

Mystique all but smiled and uttered, "Must you, Charles?"

Then, he proceeded to look at Remy who sat beside Mystique on the far couches and gave a gruff nod, at Leslie, who sat a little way away from the pair of them with Eve and Marcus. Leslie gave a smile and then, looked at Marcus and Eve, who both nodded their heads.

Remy had arrived shortly after we reached here, flanked by Mystique and I swear I noticed both of them holding hands, which was lasted for about a maximum of two seconds. I think no one noticed it, not even Logan.

Summing it up in three words – weird but cute.

But then, if they were okay with it, then, I was happy for both of them.

Phoenix nodded and got up, placing a kiss on Logan's mouth, while I bristled. I bit my lower lip, trying not to utter a word as I focused on Professor Xavier's table with his weird collection of pens. They were there in a sort of pen stand, if you could call it that. There was this blue one, which–– oh, who am I kidding? I wanted to kill that bitch.

When I looked up and found them still kissing, I couldn't help but focus on Logan, while boiling up inside. Slowly, as if sensing my gaze, along with that of the whole room, Logan broke the kiss.

"Uh, I think you should go with Charles now," Logan told Phoenix. And I swear he whispered something to her in her ear.

In reply, Phoenix gave Logan a big smile to him, pecked him on the lips once, and followed Professor out of the room.

I looked at Professor's table, listening to the silence in the room. The way he whispered in her ear… what if Logan was double crossing me? What if… what if Logan didn't believe me and he was just trying to make me stay put by lying to me? What if… Logan was indeed trying to kill me, being under the impression that I was the Phoenix?

Until now… until a few moments ago… I trusted Logan and in spite of all the mind conversations he had with Professor, I was… sort of interpreting them in my favor. Now that I came to think about it… they could all have been against me and in Phoenix's favor as well. The answers were all one sided – the ones that Professor Xavier gave and Phoenix could have just as well have interpreted them in her support.

I gulped and looked at Logan, who was looking down at me.

"What are you doing, Logan?" I asked him, secretly hoping that he would relieve me of all my doubts.

He shook his head, pressing a finger to his lips. But Lord, I was tired of this.

"Stop it!" I screamed, getting up. "Stop all this, okay? I cannot do it!"

"Do what?" Marcus asked from behind Logan. We all peered at him for a second, before ignoring him.

"Logan… what's happening?" I asked him, with finality evident in my voice. I wanted answers and I wanted them now.

He waited a whole minute before finally sighing and answering, "She could have heard us! Marie, believe me… Charles is trying to get inside her brain… To get you back in your body. Just trust us. We want you back in your body before we even attempt anything. Because if we try anything now… your body will be affected."

"So… who's this Marie?" Marcus asked again. "And dude, what exactly is happening?"

Leslie shushed him. "Are you sure Logan?" He asked Logan, who turned to face him. "Are you sure she's the real Marie?"

"Yes," Logan answered. "Their smell. It's like… that day outside that bar." He faced me then. "I could smell Jean, which was actually Phoenix on the woman who I was followin'. I smell that on your body now… your real body… who is with Charles right now. And you… you smell like… my Marie."

I would have smiled at him because he said 'my Marie' and I felt tingly all over. Tingly, in a good way. But I was too angry at him and I turned away.

He turned me to face him again, a hand on my cheek, while I tried to look at anything but him.

"Marie, look at me," he whispered. And I swear I could feel shivers traveling up and down my body with the feel of his breath on my face. I shook my head. I was angry with him and nothing was going to change that. "Marie." This time, his tone was warning.

When I didn't look at him, he shifted in front of my vision. "Don't be angry with me… I'm tryin' to save you."

I couldn't help but scoff.

"Look… I'm tryin' to help you here, pretendin' to be somethin' I'm not… And it's not easy. So, it'll be a huge relief if I expect some help from you."

I looked back at him in disbelief, my mouth slightly open. "It's also not easy loosing your body and then seeing somebody else claiming it to be hers, Logan," I snapped back at him. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not in my own body. And you keep on kissing her. It's not making it any easier."

"Oh yes, she is Rogue," Marcus called out from behind Logan. Leslie shushed him again.

"So you're jealous?" He whispered to me so that only I could hear it, giving me a smug lopsided smirk.

"That's the only thing you understood about the whole deal?" I asked in outrage, a little embarrassed.

He just gave me his smirk in answer.

I rolled my eyes. "You need to get over yourself."

"I bet you won't like me then, as much as you do now, if I did that," he replied.

This playful side of him was really liberating and I looked at him half expecting him to say that he was just practicing for a drama downtown.

"Please try and understand," his voice turned pleading.

In the end, I nodded. "Will you tell me what's going on then?" I asked. "I like to be ahead of things."

"We could open war here," Logan said straightening and going beside Professor Xavier's chair so that he facing everybody. "But then, we'd hurt Marie's body. We're trying to figure out a way to get Marie's body back to her first before trying anything. Only then can we fight her."

"But she won't let go," I answered him. "She told me that having a control over my body is advantageous to her. Apparently… I've been accumulating powers permanently instead of temporarily. Is it true?" I looked up at Logan for answer.

He nodded. "Yes," he answered. "You're getting powers for real. Especially from ones with who you're in close contact with for long intervals of time."

"But then, I should have acquired Leslie's, Remy's, everybody's powers!" I said. "I was in contact with them."

"Physical contact," Mystique answered. "Like handshakes, hugs... sleeping together? Physical."

"Oh," I said, blushing slightly. "But I didn't notice anybody's powers… I didn't even know."

"It happened involuntarily," Logan explained. "Like that one time when I hit you, you got real angry. And I saw Storm's eyes in yours. So it's takin' time to develop. But you are gettin' the powers permanently."

"Storm's eyes?" I asked, in spite of Leslie's 'Hit her?'

"Like when she's usin' her powers and you see just the white in them. When it's like her eyes roll back and the whites are visible."

I looked down at the pens in front of me. When did it happen? I didn't even know.

"Wow," I muttered.

"Charles thinks you have the potential of turning into a class five mutant," Mystique told me. "Wow it is."

"And you're not agin'," Logan said, smiling slightly. "At least not at the normal rate you should age. It'll take time to figure that out. I think you got that from me."

"From you?" I asked, looking back up at him to where he was standing.

"From me," he repeated with a definite edge to his tone.

Which would be perfect for us because he didn't age normally too. I could hear him tell me that even when he didn't say it. I kept looking at him because I couldn't look away just then, not when he was looking at me like there was only me in his world and nothing else mattered. And how long had I waited for him to look at me just like that?

I heard a cough behind me and I looked over at Marcus who was looking at me with an annoyed frown. Logan followed my gaze and looked at him with a pissed off expression. Wait. Did something happen between them?

"Um, Logan," I said, bringing his gaze back on me. It was practically hard to speak when he looked at me like that. "H–how exactly are we going to make Phoenix give me body back? Because really, I don't like being in this body. For one, I don't like red hair." Since I saw you with Jean, I added in my mind.

Logan hesitated. "Professor had an idea. But its… its bad. And he's working on it even now."

"Bad?" Mystique asked.

"He wanted to dig up Jean. And make Phoenix touch her body. Apparently, a body always calls to its soul. He's taking her there now. In a few minutes, we may hear about it. As in… go and fight Phoenix. Professor wanted me to ask you all… who all would fight?"

"Wait a second. Dig up Jean?" I asked. "As in… the grave down there?" I asked, pointing to the window.

Logan nodded gravely.

"But that's… she… we can't!"

Not only was it unethical, Jean had been in her grave for almost a year now. What would be the condition of her body? Okay, even if it was a considerable option for us now and body does call to the soul – which makes the whole thing I had with Phoenix soul–swapping – the body was also Jean's. Didn't Jean deserve as much as an eternal rest? We had to dig up her body and make Phoenix touch it so that Phoenix gets trapped in her body… and then what?

"We'll have to," Mystique said behind me. "It's not only about Jean. If Phoenix does have a body and she's just as instinctual as she was in the past, the whole world stands at risk, like the last time. Her powers are enormous. Coupled with the powers your body provides her, she'll be indestructible!"

"But Jean! Her body deserves–"

"Yes it does. And Jean died trying to save you guys, the world. Would she want Phoenix to re–awaken and wreck havoc over the world as we know it?"

Okay, that was a valid point. But when I looked at Logan, he was facing the window, away from me. But I knew the emotion that'd be reflected across his face even without seeing it. It would be sadness for what we were about to do and remorse because he had to be the one to kill Jean that one time. And now, we were going to do it again. We weren't even letting her body rest after her death.

"I'm with you and so is Eve. I'm afraid, Marcus doesn't have any fighting skills."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "And you can fight?" I asked him.

"Yes. Not only can I read minds, I can cause aneurysms."

"Um, wow," I answered back. "You never told me."

"Didn't have it. I didn't want to scare you off."

"I wouldn't have been," I told him.

"Remy's with you too," Remy spoke up for the first time.

When I looked at Mystique, she cocked an eyebrow at me. "Do you even need to ask?"

In reply, I smiled.

"Okay, I need to get this clear," Leslie spoke up again. "Even if this Phoenix does get called into that body, then what happens?"

Just as I had thought moments ago.

"Then Phoenix re–awakens in Jean's body," Logan answered turning to face us. "Which means that we'll have to fight Jean again."

"Not Jean, Logan," Mystique corrected her. "You'll be fighting Phoenix. Again."

Not to mention that the condition of Jean's body would have deteriorated in the last year. We'd fight… a zombie Jean with Phoenix's soul.

"But isn't it all happening again?" I asked. "Phoenix gets trapped in Jean's body, we kill her and her soul escapes. We couldn't kill her the last time and only Jean was killed. The body is only a shell for the Phoenix. We have to destroy the soul, the very essence that's Phoenix."

"I forgot all about it," Logan said, looking at me. His face seemed serious but I could make out the lines of sadness and those dim eyes in his face. "You're right. How do we ensure that Phoenix dies this time and not just escapes all over again?"

"I think I have an answer to that!" Leslie exclaimed suddenly.

We all looked at him.

"Look I know I'm a stranger to most of you, um, all of you, but I've read your thoughts and I know what I'm talking about. I know minds since I was kid. I've read through thoughts, desires, feelings, emotions. I think I can explain."

"Then explain," I said to him, smiling in encouragement.

His smile was grateful. "From the very beginning, there were two essences living inside Jean's body, two personalities," Leslie began. "One was calm, in control. The other was violent and instinctual. When that accident happened at Alkali Lake, the more dominant side of Jean, that's Phoenix took over her in an attempt to save the body they both shared. Though of course, it wouldn't have been sudden. Phoenix must have had control of the body at times throughout Jean's life. Jean couldn't have saved the body unless Phoenix overcame her and that marked the beginning of the dominance of Phoenix that Professor Xavier tried so long to subdue. Occasionally, you could see Jean, but for the majority of time, it was Phoenix who controlled her body, her mind."

Logan nodded. "That's right. Right before… right before I killed her, I saw Jean. She asked me to finish it."

"Exactly," Leslie continued. "When you killed her, you killed Jean because it was she who re–surfaced during those last moments. Phoenix fled the body that was destroyed and the funeral that was held was that of Jean."

He paused, giving us all the time to take it in.

"Jean died and Phoenix re–surfaced, taking the control of somebody else's body," I completed. "The body that I'm currently using and killed the owner of that body." I paused, remembering all that Phoenix had told me before. "But I was supposed to die when she took over my body. She said that. But I didn't. Why?"

"The first time Phoenix did it, there one body and two souls, leaving the owner of that body without one, while Jean overtook her body. So, that essence, that soul was lost. The soul of the body which you own now, Rogue. When Phoenix swapped her body with you, there were two bodies and two souls. She would have thought that it was supposed to have the same effect on you as it happened the first time she did it. It should have killed you. But she hadn't done enough of those body–swapping things to realize that with two bodies and two souls, the souls get swapped and nobody dies."

I nodded. That made sense.

"And when she realized that we had merely swapped our bodies, she tried to make me look like Phoenix and herself as me. So now, I die anyway," I told them.

"Okay, I believe in spirits and souls now," Eve said, speaking for the first time.

"I think when we kill her this time, we'll kill Jean," Leslie concluded. I noticed how he said 'we'. "Since there is only one soul to kill this time. This time, when she'll falls, she'll die."

Everybody fell silent for a few minutes.

"Professor has already gotten the grave dug," Logan said. "He just told me. They were walking around, giving me time to explain this to you all. By now, I think they must have reached the grave. Now, we fight."

"How did he do it when he was here all the time?" I asked, even though by the end of that question, I knew the answer.

Logan tapped his head, smiling. But even his smile was saddened.

Of course, Professor Xavier told someone through that mind–wave thing he did for someone to dig Jean's grave.

"I think we should go then," Mystique said. "We have a big fight coming up. Plus, we have to get Rogue to her body before all this starts."

And before we could even get up to do anything we heard a scream so loud and filled with agony that we were out of our seats and going out towards Jean's grave without anyone telling us to do so. Jean's scream. No, Phoenix's scream. The fight had already begun and I still had to get my body back.

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><p><em>Reviews are love!<em>

_So, read and review!_


	15. Its Over

_Chapter update! I know I'm pretty slow with this, but college gave me a rough start. Anyway, off with my woes. I had a shorter chapter than this, but recently, I read the Vampire Academy (I'm on book six) and it has loads of fighting and action. After that, I just could not give you a smaller chapter. And therefore, especially for you guys, I extended it, focusing more on the action and everything (I tried a lot but its really the first time that I've written so much of fights and stuff, so tell e what you think about it)._

_So, here is the fight for you. _

_I think there are only a couple chapters ahead, including an epilogue. I just don't work without epilogues. Any suggestion for it?_

_Of course, thanks to all the reviewers, as always._

_And here goes nothing..._

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><p>.<p>

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Its Over**

.

"Nooooooo!" The cry rang out and pierced the air everywhere.

"Betrayed!" The shout went out again. It was Phoenix. Only she had the power to scream and make the whole world listen.

We were all out in the open and what I saw made me gasp. Jean stood in front of Professor Xavier, looking at him with eyes tinged with anger that even I shivered, feeling the effect of it rolling over me in waves, coming from Jean's body.

I shook my head reminding myself. No, it wasn't Jean. It was Phoenix.

And she looked and smelled like hell. Even when I was several feet away from her, the smell of the decaying body was evident. The worst part of it was that the skin was decaying too. I could see parts of her smooth visible skin turning brown and there was her face. I couldn't help but be scared to see her like that. She was still standing in the grave but she was standing up and looking at Professor Xavier with hatred evident in her eyes.

"So you are Phoenix after all," Professor Xavier said out loud. His voice was calm as ever and he stood his ground beside her.

And at Professor Xavier's feet lay my body, kind of near the grave. It looked as if I had fallen face first on the ground, my hand disappearing into the huge hole in the ground, which was probably Jean's grave that had been dug out. I longed to rush to my body and touch it, own it. Yet, I stood my ground, looking at the scene with wide eyes.

"You betrayed me!" She shouted at him. Her voice was raspy since it hadn't been used for a long time. "And now, look at me! How dare you even try to do this to me? What do you think? I can't take over her body again? I have the same powers even now! When will you understand you foolish old man? I. Cannot. Be. Killed!"

With than, she raised her hand and Professor Xavier fell several feet back with an invisible force. As he tried to stand up again, Phoenix rushed to him, and held him in his place, with a hand outstretched so that Professor Xavier couldn't even move.

"Phoenix, child, what will you gain by doing this?" Professor Xavier asked as Logan tried to edge forward. I could do nothing but stare at the scene in front of me, my feet fixed to the ground. I was nothing without my body. I could do absolutely nothing except standing there gawking at the scene. I didn't know the powers of my body. For all I knew, the body I owned could have been a human doctor's – human doctor Amy Collins. But something had to be done! I just couldn't stand there watching the mummy–without–bandages looking Jean to hurt Professor.

So, I followed Logan, slowly but steadily as we tried to move behind Phoenix. Logan moved towards her as I moved towards my body. I felt Phoenix stiffen and I knew, I just knew that she knew we were behind her. And so did Logan.

Phoenix whirled around and behind her, I saw Professor was stuck to the ground, still unable to move. Phoenix's powers were huge. Even while keeping Professor Xavier pinned down, she could have easily taken me and Logan and anybody else.

I was only halfway through the ground towards my body and suddenly, Phoenix's eyes fell on me.

"You!" She shouted at me, ignoring Logan. "I'll kill you!"

I kind of froze at a spot for a second, my brain going blank as Phoenix walked towards me. With a flick of her hand, Logan flew back. He landed far away, out of the ground and when I looked, I gasped. There was blood on his shoulders and chest. Before I could do anything, I was thrown back with so much force that when I fell the momentum of it through me back several more feet with my back scratching against the ground as several gashes appeared on my arms and face. I almost shouted in pain but then, I realized Phoenix wanted me to scream. I swallowed all my shouts, closing my eyes in pain. Even though it wasn't my body, it felt like it - with the pain and everything.

When I opened my eye, I was lying on the grass and the whole of my back side, face and arms ached. I cursed silently, refusing to scream even though it hurt like hell.

Slowly I got up and what I saw made me gasp.

Phoenix was standing over Professor again as I saw blood pour out from his shoulders and front of his torso. She was facing Professor, her face turned into a cruel smirk as she poured more blood out of him. My eyes went towards where Logan had landed and saw that he was still down. He'd probably heal quickly, but he had probably suffered a major blow to have been down for the last couple of minutes.

I tried to get up but felt the force of Phoenix's power forcing me down. I yelled at her and fought against it but couldn't get up.

A sort of battle cry made me look away from what I was trying to do and towards Eve who was plunging towards Phoenix, who lost her concentration on me as Eve used her telekinesis – the same power that Phoenix was using on us and knocked her over from Professor Xavier. Here, surpreise was the element because looking at the amused expression on Phoenix's face, she wasn't expecting Eve to fight, probably because this really wasn't her fight. But help in any form was valuable to us right now.

I wondered where the others were - Bobby, Kitty, Storm, Jubilee.

I was thinking about them, when I noticed Leslie moved behind Eve towards Phoenix, obviously giving her one of those aneurysms that he was talking about, if the bent over Phoenix – who was clutching her head and making a lot of noise – was any indication.

Before I could even thing that they both had subdued her, she struck out a hand as if signaling them to stop and both Leslie and Eve fell a dozen feet away. Leslie hit a tree and I saw his head strike it. Shit, he would probably get a concussion for it. Eve on the other hand fell on the grass and Marcus quickly walked to her, helping her up.

Scolding myself for getting caught in the fight, I got up since I was no longer in Phoenix's grip. Slowly, I inched towards my body, without trying to gain anyone's attention. I was of no use if I got caught by Phoenix again. It would only delay what's evident – Phoenix had to die today.

I saw as she got up too, oblivious to me and strolled towards Leslie and with an outstretched hand, picked him up in the air without even touching him.

And then, Logan was on Phoenix, but with one swift motion of her hand, Logan fell several paces away again. Quickly, he got up and started towards Phoenix but it was as if he was fighting an invisible barrier. He struggled against the unseen wall that Phoenix had constructed, but to no avail. He kept fighting it nonetheless.

I looked away from them then. I was just next to my body, lying there alone near the grave, with my right hand inside it, probably from where Phoenix had touched Jean's body and got transferred into it.

"You'll try to kill me?" I heard Phoenix's thunderous voice behind me. I didn't look back and focused at the task at hand. Handy only if dandy. It was something that Leslie had said in one of the fights. Silently praying that all was well with him I kept repeating his words as a mantra in my head in an attempt to remind myself that I'd only be useful to anyone once I was in my body.

But then, I heard Eve's loud shriek. I froze. It was one of those horrible shrieks that made you stop everything, in spite of everything and look at the source. Praying silently, I looked back to see and saw nothing. Really, I saw nothing.

Because Phoenix was merely standing where she stood before, looking triumphant. But what for?

She was merely looking at nothing where moments ago Leslie was hanging up in the air. I didn't realize what was happening but I looked at the cruel smirk on Phoenix's face, combined with the fact that now Eve was shrieking Leslie's name and crying openly, the reality seemed to dawn on me.

"No," I whispered softly. "No, no, no."

There were tears in my eyes and the world stood still for a second. Leslie was not dead. Not dead. He'd just peek out from one of those trees and shout 'Fooled ya!' before anybody knew. I knew it. He couldn't be dead.

This wasn't happening.

All this happened in seconds and now Phoenix, who was free of one of her challengers, turned towards Logan. As Logan pushed at the invisible wall again, he fell through, landing on a ground a couple of feet ahead. He got up quickly and gracefully though, as I watched Phoenix's cruel smile again.

"No," I muttered again. "Not him too. Not him too."

She took out both her hands and threw an invisible force towards Logan. I heard his growl, loud and dangerous as I saw the front of Logan's shirt dissolve into nothing and several gashes appeared on his face and chest, blood dripping from them. The earlier ones hadn't fully healed but to see the effect in full force now, my brain grew numb.

He staggered back and fell down again.

No, no, no.

He was stirring on the ground, rolling to one side as he clutched himself.

"Logan!" I shouted out, numbness forgotten as Logan groaned in pain. I stood up and was rushing towards him, when Phoenix knocked me back into the grass. I groaned in pain, but got up seconds later to see Phoenix hurting Logan again. The gashes were deeper now, the blood flowing more easily.

"Stop it!" I shouted from where I sat in the grass awkwardly. "Stop hurting him!"

Phoenix smiled and raised her hand over Logan as the wounds turned deeper. "Stop it!" I cried out again, but she didn't even hear me, clearly enjoying my outburst.

I saw other people coming in now to join us in the fight. Mystique and Remy had probably rushed in to get backup and now, they were in her watching Logan's torture.

Too late, I realized. Leslie was… dead. And now, she was hurting Logan.

And the thing was that she was so powerful that nobody was even able to reach her.

And then, Mystique was pushing Phoenix back as Remy struck her from behind. And I didn't wait to see them being thrown back again as I started my trudge towards my body. Handy if dandy or else a liability, I repeated to myself.

Phoenix had thrown me a little way away from my body after my outburst and now, I was almost there when I heard the thunder roll above us. I looked up to see Storm flying in the air above us and the sunny spring day suddenly turned into a dark rainy day with black clouds visible. I smiled thankfully as a spark of lightening tore through the sky above her, followed by a sudden drizzle. A moment later, a blast of thunder hit Phoenix and she stumbled back, shocked and fell on the ground.

A blast of cold air hit me and I shivered slightly. And then it struck me. I watched as Bobby appeared from inside the school and then, he was next to where Mystique had fallen. I saw him raise his hands and Phoenix's feet started turning ice.

Grateful for them to have finally joined the fight, I looked down at my body. I didn't know what to do now, and I stared at myself unconscious on the ground.

I looked back again, only for a second to see everybody fighting Phoenix, who was obviously outnumbered, but in no way less stronger that all of us put together.

Starting from her feet, Bobby was up to her knees working his magic of ice when Phoenix shook and sat up awkwardly. With a flick of her hand Bobby hit the door he had come through and dropped down unconscious.

In two seconds flat, the ice melted and Phoenix was up again. I was horrified and focused on Logan. I saw him getting up shakily as I finally reached my body and touched my face. I didn't know what else to do. Phoenix had probably touched Jean's body to get that soul called back into it, if my outstretched hand was any give–away.

I heard a distinct shriek from Phoenix, a clink of metal, probably Logan's claws and a loud cry from Logan and Phoenix both and then, I fell down unconscious asking myself how many times it was going to happen in a year. Me falling unconscious, I mean.

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><p>When I opened my eyes, I saw the open sky above me. It was getting dark and I heard a distinct clink of metal and a scream. I sat up straight and saw Logan holding Jean close to him. I got up, my eyes trained on Logan and the smell of the decaying skin hit me again. I staggered a few steps before finally reaching Logan.<p>

When I reached him, I saw what I hadn't seen before. Logan's claws were embedded in Phoenix's back but Logan's eyes were glued to her.

For Logan, it was Jean all over again.

I bent down beside him and that broke his trance. He looked and me and I could see the pain in his eyes. I kept looking at him, straight into his eyes, willing myself not to look down at the horrible scene. I heard the clink of metal again and I heard the thud when Phoenix's body hit the ground, obviously face first. I distinctly felt Logan's claws wiping on the ground, who knows what (since her blood should have been dried up by now… or so I think) and then, the clink as they retracted.

_"Do they hurt when they come out?"_

_"Every time."_

I saw Logan bend forward and then, I hugged him, closing the distance between us.

"Its over," I whispered to him and repeated it over and over again as Logan hugged me hard.

Because it was over.

At the back of my mind, I knew I had lost a great friend, I had lost Leslie and there was nobody who would be able to fill that void. He was that funny guy, who had helped in my darker days. And I had never given him anything back. He hadn't asked for it. And today, so suddenly, so horribly, he was gone.

Slowly, we got up together as Jean's body lay on the ground. I hadn't seen what had happened but I knew it. Probably when Phoenix was distracted fighting everybody off, Logan had attacked her. And this time, he had killed her by backstabbing her. Literally.

"No!" Eve shouted and I turned to look back at her. She was crying in Marcus' arms, tears flowing freely down her face. "He cannot die! He cannot… How can he die? He isn't dead! He can't be!"

"Eve, calm down," Marcus said in the softest voice I had ever heard him use. "He's… he's really gone."

Phoenix disintegrated him. We didn't even have a body to mourn him. We had nothing. Nothing except that happy face, that flirty smile, those encouraging words. Nothing except those jokes he made, the times he tried not to look into my mind and the times when he was true and loyal friend.

"No!" She shouted. I could detect the beginnings of hysteria. And somewhere within me, I could feel the sadness of it all hit me over and over again. Leslie had actually died. Gone. Forever.

And all to help me get my body back.

The first wave of guilty hit me. I was responsible. I was the reason he was dragged into this mess. I was the reason of his death.

And no body at all.

And I hated even thinking of the world 'body', which seemed to associate him with the death, with a finality. He was gone.

And when Logan's arms clasped around me, I hugged him hard again and cried my eyes out, murmuring 'He's gone' all the while.

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><p>As I've said before, reviews are your love to me, so send them in!<p> 


	16. Epilogue : My Happy Ending

_Sorry for being absent for so long. But I just couldn't make myself write anymore. I'm not being able to write anything for a long time. Only recently, I got myself to write a couple of things, which were not fanfictions. I've begun a couple of fiction works - romantic, of course._

_I'm ending this story here because I don't think I can take it ahead any longer. I think I like what I have done. Though I'd like to change a few things and tie up a few loose ends with Phoenix and Jean's story here, I find myself incapable to do it now. In future, maybe I'd make it better, find someone to beta it and give a few suggestions too._

_Thanks to all the people who fanned, reviewed and added me as a favorite! I loved the response though I would have liked the people who fan'ed/favorite'd me to review. Anyway, you can still do it. As I always say - Reviews are love!_

_I'll be back with a bang as soon as I get a new inspiration. Until then, sayonara! _

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><p>.<p>

**Epilogue : My Happy Ending**

.

I opened my eyes and realized I was not in my room. I was in the Xavier Mansion, as visible from the window in front of me which looked over to the huge garden. But I wasn't in my room.

I got up quickly and looked around. I was in a king sized bed with white sheets and I was dressed in one of Logan's shirts and… these weren't my shorts. What was I doing in– suddenly the realization struck– in Logan's room?

I hadn't seen his room in a long time. After he was gone, I never came back in his room. I couldn't. And yet, the familiarity of seeing it again struck me hard.

I got up and pulled on my shoes, trying to remember the last thing that happened. And suddenly, with only one of my shoes on, I trudged towards the mirror in the bathroom and sighed with relief.

It was definitely me.

I was back in my own body.

I fingered one of the loose brown curls in my hand, tinged with white in front when I heard the door to the room open and when I turned around, Logan was there in front of me.

"Brunettes always have a certain charm," he said, smiling slightly and I looked down to see that I still held the curls in my hand. I let them go and looked up at Logan with my arms dangling at my sides. I folded them across my chest, feeling a little defensive, also because I just couldn't let them dangle at my sides. It just felt awkward.

"Are you okay?" He asked, taking a step towards me.

The bathroom was small and I felt goose–bumps erupting all over my neck and arms.

"Uh, yeah," I answered.

"You're nervous?" he whispered, standing where he was.

"No," I said definitely. "I'm not nervous."

"But I can sense it," he said.

"Okay yes, I'm nervous. Among a lot of things," I told him truthfully.

"What all things?"

"Anger," I responded. "Foremost, actually. And I feel sort of light–headed. But that's okay… really. And I feel really confused."

"Confused?"

"Yes," I said, standing straight. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. "First, what am I doing in your room? And these clothes," – I looked down – "They are yours. How am I wearing… them?"

"That's your first question?" He asked, throwing me a smirk.

"Well, the first set of them at least."

"Mystique changed your clothes, if that makes you feel better. And I brought you here after you lost consciousness… because your room needs cleanin'. And mine… well, I got it done a couple of days ago. And I… I took the liberty of thinkin'…"

"Thinkin' what?" I asked.

His eyes bore into mine before he said, "Thinkin' that we'd share a room."

I blushed heavily at that, looking down. I took support against the sink, feeling even more light–headed by the minute.

"Was I wrong?" He asked, stepping forward.

"No, you're just too bold. Audacious."

"Huh."

He stepped closer so that we were face to face and his hand settled on my waist.

I was still looking down at the floor when I asked my other questions. "How did you suddenly realize that… we'd be sharing a room?"

I felt flustered and overwhelmed but I wasn't letting go so easily. There were a lot of things that he needed to clear for me.

"You kissed me back. At that warehouse."

I looked away and he dropped his hand from my waist.

"Why don't you settle down and let me explain?"

"That would be good," I said, nodding my head. I followed him to the bedroom and we settled on a couch. He was sitting in front of me on the bed.

I started first. Before he could say a thing. I had to tell him a couple of things that Phoenix told me before he blamed himself for it.

"I have to tell you something first," I said, looking at him. "Phoenix said a few things to me back there. She said… she was messing with your mind. Trying to make you think about her. She was the one who hit me. It wasn't you. She controlled you to do what she wanted."

He looked grim but he didn't say a think, looking down at the floor, hands at his sides on the bed.

When he got up and covered the distance in a couple of strides, I didn't know how to respond. He pulled me up and into his arms and then, he was staring into my eyes.

"I was wrong," He said. "I was so wrong about you. And… I thought I could keep away, stay away and let you be happy. But I cannot. I hate to think of you in anybody else arms. But… I had nothin' to give you. I still have nothin'. I don't even have a past. I don't know what I was, what I did back then. Though I do know that it was bad. And I wanted to protect you from it. Keep you away. But I can think of nothin' else when I'm away from you. I worry all the time about your safety. And I trust no one else to keep you safe or happy enough."

His hand tucked stray hair behind my ear, making me feel goose-bumps all over as his hand caressed my cheeks. "I've longed for this moment. I'll take it slow. We'll date if that's what you want. I'll take you away if you don't want to stay here. We'll roam the world, see things together. We don't have to fear anythin'. And we don't have to pretend. Just say the word."

His closeness made me feel like a teenager first time in love. And damn it if I was going to mess this up.

I smiled at long last. "I think I'm dreaming. It's too good to be true."

He smiled in return. His voice was gruff and his eyes a dark shade. "I won't have it any other way."

His voice softened and he leaned his head on mine. "I'm so sorry about everything. Everythin' that I should have been, but wasn't."

"I know I didn't make it easy for you," I said back.

"No, you didn't. Not when you were with ice-boy, or Remy. I couldn't bear to see them with you."

I smiled. "There was nobody else besides you. Ever. You've been my hero, my love, my existence since I climbed into your truck that first night."

He groaned. "I've missed you," he said back.

"Me too." My answer was immediate.

"Marie, be mine," he whispered in a soft throaty voice which made me shiver slightly.

I nodded my approval and then, his mouth was on mine.

In no time, I had my legs around him, while he supported me against a wall. We were kissing and I didn't feel like I could get enough of him. My hands roamed over his face, tangled in his hair as he pulled me closer, rough and wild.

And I knew I wouldn't have it any other way either.

I had dreamed of this for so long, there were tears in my eyes when he suddenly let go.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked, his voice worried.

"No," I answered. "It's just that… you're finally here. With me."

When another tear traced my cheeks, he kissed it away. "And it's goin' to be like this for forever more."

I could do nothing but bring his mouth on mine again.

"Logan?" I whispered, when we let go of each other to breathe.

"Hmm?" He muttered as he kissed my neck, my jaw.

"I love you."

I stilled seeing his reaction. I had waited for this moment since ages. And now, when it was finally here, I wanted to see his face as he said it.

He let go of my neck and his eyes focused on mine. "Love is a word that doesn't begin to cover what I feel for you. But for what it's worth, I love you too."

And then, he was kissing me again.

When he let me go for air again, I still didn't have enough of him.

He pushed away and I looked at him, amused and shocked as he bent on one knee before me. My mouth dropped open at the sight. No. Wow. Yes, it was happening.

I was going to laugh when he scolded me. "Don't make this difficult than it already is."

I nodded, feeling exhilarated, joyful, ecstatic - everything, nothing. Shit. Logan was doing it. He was actually going to do it.

"Will you marry me?" he asked, bringing out a ring from nowhere. It was a gold band with a big solitaire on top. And this time, he didn't stop the tears that flowed from my eyes. Happy tears. Tears of contentment, satisfaction.

"Yes," I answered as he got up and slipped the ring on my finger. "Yes."

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><p>On day Logan and I married, Remy and Mystique did too. It was a cozy affair in the gardens of the Xavier Mansion and everybody was invited. I didn't know how Mystique and Remy did in fact end together, but Logan said it was during the time when I was in coma. They would end up near my bed, hand in hand and go down for a drink after that. Or something.<p>

Leslie was gone, but I knew he wouldn't have liked us to stop for him. He would have wanted us to go on and we all did go on. I would never forget the friendship he offered me in the bleak situation that I was in. He'd remain in our hearts always for the sacrifice he made and the valor and friendship he offered without asking for anything in return.

Marcus and Eve have continued to run Leslie's work smoothly, but as Juno predicted, Marcus and Eve married but they had problems they wouldn't tell each other and chose to solve on their own terms. Juno married a guy named Raghav, an Asian, and lives happily in the mansion. Raghav, though sweet by face has an ability to create illusions of the most terrifying sorts. He can also be pleasing if he wants to, which he usually is around Juno.

There were still a few loose ends when Logan and I left the Xavier Mansion, but we promised to remain in in touch and help whenever it was required. Magneto was unstoppable as ever but we were a team and whenever there was a need, a quick call was all we needed to hop into a jet and get to the place of activity. Logan and I decided that we would return back to mansion, but first, we deserved a much needed rest in each other's company. Something, which no one disagreed with.

We live in a place near a small lake, hidden by view in cover of old oaks and growing grasses. Logan and I have forbidden anyone to know the real way to find it, except Professor of course. We like to keep it cozy and well away from eager eyes.

Logan works at building sites and for the meanwhile, I'm just a housewife who likes to cook dinners for his husband and drops in at the Mansion on Sundays for defense classes with him.

Remy and Mystique chose to stay at Mansion and are respectable teachers there. They still manage to find out time for one another among all the X-Men activity and teaching, something Logan and I would return to one day.

Not now though. We live in a cocoon of our world in a small house. And I know things would never remain the same as they were today, but I did know one thing that would keep us together. Forever, as Logan said.

Our love.


End file.
